Counting Sheep - Overcoming Fear v.4

[Ampersnd]

Day 51 / 210,

Feeling shut in, a recluse. Lots of sleep the last couple of days.
Having virtually zero to do anything except practicing guitar and some deeply engrained habits.

Actually missed my Saturday kickboxing class. I just don't want to go. I went to the gym instead.
Fortunately, I don't have any desire to eat junk food, drink, or do anything stupid.

Feels like a psychological depression.

[Ampersnd]

Day 52 / 210,

In my opinion, the audiobook 'The Courage to be Disliked' is the conscious verbalization of Overcoming Fear.
I'm about 20% of the way through and it's putting into words things that I couldn't have hoped to express, but it makes a ton of sense.

It's available on YouTube.

[Ampersnd]

Day 56 / 210,

I've crawled myself out of that hole I was feeling last weekend.
I'm now following through on a plan to become a web3 developer, with a lot of these plans involving more foundational elements such as distributed systems, algorithms, advanced database management, and perhaps Django to integrate Python into front-end.
This is not my ultimate goal, but gaining a much deeper understanding of code and systems will help me with my 5-10 year tech plan.

I also approached a woman probably for the first time since I started this subliminal. At the gym. Got the Instagram of some early 20s-aged nurse. Conversation felt a bit stilted but she seemed nice.

[Ampersnd]

Day 64 / 210,

Passed the two month mark on OF v.4, and I've been chilling.
Working through database management system, and working through this web3 plan, which involves many of the fundamentals.
Not experiencing turbo motivation to make money. Debating between running DMSI and UMS afterwards.

I'll be out of this program by March 2023.

[Ampersnd]

Day 86 / 210,

Nearing 3/7 months.

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Day 88 / 210,

I was kept awake for well over an hour last night by random and irrational fears and stresses.
That feeling of stress has continued through the morning. I might be penetrating a deeper layer.

I think I caught COVID this weekend; it was a different flavor from what I got last year. Very much a body weakness, brain bogged down and tired variety, and not a 'sick' feeling.
Took a sick day on Monday.

Hmm, interest has been piqued by this Maverick subliminal. I think Shannon favors the boys when it comes to making hard-hitting subliminals. Eh, market forces, I guess.

[Ampersnd]

Day 90 / 210,

I've been sick to some degree all week, to the point where I've been missing workouts and kickboxing sessions all week.
It got worse yesterday, where I was brain fogged and congested. I had been running the Immune Response, but symptoms were still present.
On a hunch, I decided to get the Advanced Stress Relief subliminal and try it for a month.

At 11:30 PM, I laid back and ran the last 15 minutes of the Trickling Stream; very quickly, both nostrils unclogged and I began to relax.
I stayed awake long enough to move my phone from my side to the bedside table, then I very quickly drifted off.
My dreams were vivid and clear - I even checked out a guitar store with James Hetfield - until around 9:00 AM, but I was so light and relaxed that I kept waking and sleeping until 11:45 AM.

When I normally try to sleep, I notice that my back muscles are tense on their own, and I need to breathe through them to relax. But those muscles relaxed very quickly when I ran the loop.

The only thing was that the relaxation it made it difficult for me to focus on my visualizations, but that would have happened either way, as my brain fog was getting in the way.

[Ampersnd]

Day 98 / 210,

Part of me wants to drop Overcoming Fear and to start UMS again.
Many of my reasons for using OF involves entering into business and achieving financial freedom.

[Ampersnd]

Day 98 / 210,

The same day that I want to end my OF run, I've realized a major change in behavior.
I find that people are reacting more positively to me in general, and that I believe that this is because I've expressed myself much more SINCERELY.
No deflection, no sarcasm, no irony, no beating around the bush or conversation games.

When you're sarcastic / ironic and hard to decipher for your own amusement, you are - in a sense - abusing other people's sincerity. The only reason that recreational irony would be amusing is that the other person is being forthcoming in their thoughts and feelings, and you're short-circuiting their expectations that you'll behave in a similar way.

Recently, when I've done little conversational gambits, I'd catch it and express my true feelings afterwards so that there is no confusion.à

EDIT: What I think has gone behind these changes is my fear of having my real beliefs exposed and potentially criticized. If you're ever called out while being sarcastic, there's always the pansy-assed cop out tactic of saying "I wAs oNLy JoKIng!!@", then pretending that the other person is overreacting.

[dissonance]

How many minutes is one loop of OFv4?

[Ampersnd]

How many minutes is one loop of OFv4?

60 minutes per loop

[dissonance]

How many minutes is one loop of OFv4?

60 minutes per loop

Are you doing the default listneing protocol or any changes from AutoConfig?

[Ampersnd]

60 minutes per loop

Are you doing the default listneing protocol or any changes from AutoConfig?

I do 2 loops about every 2 days. The suggestion is to do 2 loops every 4 days.

[Ampersnd]

Day 105 / 210,

Am officially halfway through the 7-month run.