Concious and Unconcious effort journal

[batman]

haha, last post was another cry baby stories episode. but today has been really profound. the day starts really great followed by a workout and felt refresh as usual. as of today, i still havent got any result with women, and its been 3 months since using AM11 and its the worst month ever. a lot of anxiety come up, sometimes i feel like im a freak after using this AM11. a lot of negative selftalk about my self saying i couldnt do this and that, some days they beat me sensesly and sometime i beat em back.

the feeling and selftalk about stopping this subs has been around my head forever. but i dont know why, i still keep playing this subs. lol.

here is a script that usualy comes to mind
mind: "hey, whats wrong with you? you can do this without the subs anyway...why do you give your power to the subs, as if just by listening to it you will get result. and that result will be another 3 months, but who knows whether you will get it or not. you tried everything but still no result...and so on and so on". im so used to it and im bored, if only i can tell em to just shut up for a moment. lol. im kidding, they give me good signal about my life btw.

huff, like everyone else, i think the result has been really subtle with this subliminal. i think i got some progress, but i dont feel it yet. well, how do i know if i made some progress? obviously, if i get result with women. well that not yet happen. what happened was a lot of anxiety about women.

so, right now my mind telling me to not expect to much from this subs. its telling me to take control right now about this area of your life instead of waiting for another 3 months. well, i had that belief thought, a belief that tells me you will get girls after you finish this 6 months program. and perhaps another 6 months after SM or WM. well, thats too long for me. i want it now...