Being preceived as arrogant

[Dzemoo]

hi guys, since i started my sub journey three years ago i often hear from poeple especially girls that i seem arrogant, many girls that rejected me at first told me they thought i am arrogant, i think this is also the reason i had many problems with women during subs that i didnt have before

but how is this possibles since shannon subs have ego balancing in it, or is it just the pereception of other poeple to think you are arrogant when you have a high self esteme

i know many cool guys with high self esteme and good looks who get no chicks, because they think they are arrogant

on the other hand i dont understand women they want a confident man who knows what he wants but then dont want him because he seems too arrogant, if i want a chick i go for her even if they show some bad character traits i dont like, it seems that women dont think form the prespective that everything has a down side

on the other hand i was diagnozed years ago from a doctor to have a narcistic personality type

but again on the other hand when users like catman describe their problems with women how it is now harder for him to interact with them because they show more bitchy behavior and act different to him then it comes in my mind that they might now misconcept him as arrogant

i for example thought that sarge is arrogant at the begining before i knew him better

so what do you guys think

[ImFreeman]

I think it comes down to how is expressed that arrogance, if you are a playfull/cheeky/arrogant jerkboy, that is attractive because you are expressing a lot of things at the same time (confidence, playfulness), you also show that you are and feel superior than most people but also you do not act like you are hot shit too good to be talking to peasants.

On the other hand is the arrogant asshole who despises inferior people and kinda puts himself above other people, even worse is when he thinks he is hot shit, but he is not. This one might attract the 'bitches' that hold similar views.

Of course all of this is theory in my head, but being the confident playful jerboy that is friends with everybody is what i am working to get to

[Dzemoo]

if i would be like this the question would be easy to answer but it seems that is not...

[apollolux]

David DeAngelo famously talks about balancing "cocky" with "funny," so maybe this perception of "arrogance" is an imbalance of the two with too much cockiness.

On top of that, I've found personally that absolute confidence leads to "serenity." It's about being so sure of yourself and your abilities that you're essentially at peace with your environment and the people around you. I have too much conflict internally, so haven't yet achieved the level of confidence that brings serenity.

[Jakeb203]

It is arrogance. Don't mistaken it for anything else. However it will be balanced out in further stages. By stage 6 you should be completely fine.

Status, essentially, is a form of arrogance, except being balanced with humility.

[Shannon]

It isn't just arrogance. High self esteem is very threatening to people with less self esteem than they perceive you to have in a lot of cases, and they attempt in a lot of cases to label you as arrogant so they can feel better about themselves, in effect excusing their lack of self esteem by trying to label yours as a negative trait that they don't want to have.

It could be genuine arrogance, but the ego balancing is in every stage of AM. So it may be that you're learning how to balance ego with humility still. Or it may be what I was talking about.

[RTBoss]

Arrogance is a false-front in people who lack real self-esteem. The difference between a confident person and an arrogant one is evident in the response to being challenged.