Baftis' Journey w/BIATBW

[baftis]

Update on the ex thing. She doesn't want to see me, because she doesn't see a point in the small get-together thing. Even moreso, she blocked me on Facebook. Alas, all is not lost, because a bright future awaits me. I find comforting that someday she will want me back and I won't. I felt a little sad, but hey, I got BIATBW going on for me, so bring it.

[Dee]

Hows the EFT or F-EFT going on clearing your sadness and feelings of rejection? I find it works to an extent

[baftis]

Can't really say, I've only used it for a day. It felt good, so i should just keep on doing it and see what it comes of it.

[baftis]

Funny feeling I have right now. I've noticed that I'm far less affected by the rejection of my ex meeting up with me. It's almost like a relief and that I feel free of some sorts. Now I realised how much I was held back by this.

[Astrack]

Update on the ex thing. She doesn't want to see me, because she doesn't see a point in the small get-together thing. Even moreso, she blocked me on Facebook. Alas, all is not lost, because a bright future awaits me. I find comforting that someday she will want me back and I won't. I felt a little sad, but hey, I got BIATBW going on for me, so bring it.

Things happen man, but as Shannon says, you will grow out of it.

[baftis]

I already feel like I did. Well, 90% of it at least. Like I said before, it was a huge relief that this happened, it was holding me back.

[baftis]

Day 20

Again, nothing going on much, since I was super-lazy today. Tomorrow I'll go out with my friends and have some fun. I'm curious to what BIATBW did to mr now that I'm 20 days in.

The most eventful thing that happened was that my ex refused to see me for a cup of coffee in town. Furthermore, she deleted me from her friends list, so that pretty much sums it up. Done deal. Kaputt, over.

I noticed that I'm far less affected by this than I'd imagined I'd be. Sure, I am affected, not to kid myself, but not feeling bad or anything. Before I started to write this journal, I felt somewhat nostalgic and vengeful ( not exactly *seeking* revenge, but more like she sees me with a hotter girl than her and bam...a "success is the best revenge" kinda thing ). At the end of the day, I have no reason to seek even the most subtle form of revenge, because I've done it to myself. I accept things as they are and just move on. I just know that she'll want me back when I don't, so that's that. I just wish her a happy life. We had a great time together.

Back to the sub. I noticed that I get emotional a lot and feel like crying. I'm not quite sure if it's the sub doing this, but I do feel emotionally connected to stuff or more emotionally appreciative of things, like a scene from a movie, a song or something like that. I don't feel sad or anything ( most of the time ) when that particular situation arises. Maybe it's my way of healing? Or cleansing? Not quite sure, anybody experienced something similar?

And a recent finding, I noticed I'm more creative when talking to girls and my words flow slightly different now and effortlessly, even though I was talking to a girl I'm not particularly interested in ( mostly because of her looks, but she's a quality girl on the inside ).

Well, that's all for now.

[K-Train]

Great mindset you got there Baftis. I most certainly concur, move on, and enjoy the spoils of life. I'm quite sure that when the sub starts kicking in you won't have time to think about your ex.

[baftis]

Thanks, K. And that was my mistake, I didn't enjoy the spoils of life earlier after the break-up. If I did, maybe it would've been a different story. But it really doesn't matter anymore. Life is right in front of me, unfolding itself marvelously to me. I can't wait to meet new hot girls.

[baftis]

Day 21

Well, now. We have some results, here. Today I went out with one of my friends, who happens to be a girl. Just me and her. Some other female friend ( waaaaaaaay hotter than the friend I went out with ) wanted to tag along, but she didn't like the place we were going, so I basically said "if you don't like it, too bad, I like it and we're going there". She didn't liked the sound of it, but she did wanted to join us after we left that bar. We didn't leave that bar.

So there's a little backstory to this. My ex always considered that this particular girl friend of mine likes me. I always told her that she was my friend/sister, nothing more, nothing less and that nothing is going to happen in the history of ever. Well, either my ex was right all along or I was blind all along or was it the sub, can't tell which is which.

This particular girl friend of mine isn't exactly fitting to my taste in girls, but she's a great person to be around. We always have a great time when we're around each other. In terms of signs of interest, they were very obvious. At least 4-5 signals of interest. The thing is I didn't want to make a move for several reasons : 1) not exactly my type 2) in about 8-9 months she's leaving for college in another town which is really far away. And I'm not going after her, big no-no here.

I noticed that now I'm pretty straightforward ( more like "very" straightforward ) and completely don't give a shit about her reaction. I've actually grabbed her boobs two separate times without any second thoughts or remorse and she was too OK with it. Keep in mind, this was in a bar that played metal music, albeit with few customers around ( funny thing, my ex's cousin was there, she was very excited to see me, even though in the past she was cold with me, sometimes indifferent... today she was with her boyfriend, but still ).

All in all, I like where this is going with the sub. I will not make snappy judgements, so I'll be listening for more and going out some more to see more results.

[baftis]

Day 22

Well, I had another discussion with my parents tonight. I really, REALLY can't stand the mindset they have ( that the main thing that concern women's attraction towards men is money ). Faulty, faulty, faulty logic. And they stick to things that are totally not true and insist on "beating me on the head" with them and pounding them in my brain. And their way of saying things to me is very "cornering" and make me feel stupid. Once more, they didn't like any of my long-term girlfriends for whatever reason they can muster and can actually justify them, even if it's wrong. Deep down, I think they don't want me to "leave them".

One thing is true though, I was a "nice guy". Not anymore.

And another thing : I did it all to myself. Can't blame anyone for this. But it's all OK, I accept myself for it all. I forgive myself and others, because that's the way I was. Now that I'm on the path to change, all is different. I wasn't inspired and it's OK.

[stratos]

baftis - with people like that I often find it's a battle of the minutes. in other words, if you can calmly maintain your position (unless they have worthwhile points) for more *minutes* than they can, then they will give up and stop trying to pressure you. I have rarely found that someone has more than 40-45 minutes of energy to pressure you if you can maintain your position or show a bit of flexibility if warranted. if you can stay there and not walk away for that long, chances are they will not bug you about it again directly. if you walk away and they show more endurance, they might come after you for weeks or longer on that topic. this is assuming they are not acting in good faith or trying to have a reasonable conversation. if they are, again, invest enough minutes of time until they give up or you achieve a compromise.

[baftis]

Well, they do act in good faith, they're my parents. Thanks for the advice, I'll keep that in mind.

[Dee]

Well, I had another discussion with my parents tonight. I really, REALLY can't stand the mindset they have ( that the main thing that concern women's attraction towards men is money ). Faulty, faulty, faulty logic. And they stick to things that are totally not true and insist on "beating me on the head" with them and pounding them in my brain.

Tend to remember that "perception is reality" the same way you feel about they faulty logic is the same way they see yours and possibly feel about it.

Mutual respect of each others opinions, could lead to agreeable disagreements where both sides feel understood.

Plus there's a lot of pleasure in been the one so say "I told you so" in the end :angel: