BASE - Journey Into Cinema

[eternity]

I'm pretty sure neediness is being dealt with.

Yesterday I didn't feel the pulling urge to go out last night with my friends like i usually do. I was totally comfortable staying home alone, and sleeping early so i could get up for work early the next day. Now that's a big one!

'fear of being alone' ?

[Breeze]

I'm pretty sure neediness is being dealt with.

Yesterday I didn't feel the pulling urge to go out last night with my friends like i usually do. I was totally comfortable staying home alone, and sleeping early so i could get up for work early the next day. Now that's a big one!

'fear of being alone' ?

It depends on the individual, if you were anybody like me with zero social life, you'd have bitten hard at the first opportunity to go out with your friends. But since your social life is good, thanks to SM 3, you ended up staying home. I can't say about fear of being alone, but surely the fear of "missing out" is dealt with, which further connects to fear of not living life to its fullest potential.

[eternity]

that's right, leo... fear of missing out is the right way to describe it. and i'm glad you put your pic as your avatar haha, that's a badass pic.

[eternity]

i started messaging girls that either A)i am friends with on facebook and don't know or B)girls I knew from the past and haven't talked to in a while.

fear of rejection and/or fear of what other people think of me is fizzling away ^_^

[CatMan]

i started messaging girls that either A)i am friends with on facebook and don't know or B)girls I knew from the past and haven't talked to in a while.

fear of rejection and/or fear of what other people think of me is fizzling away ^_^

fear of rejection

OMG...

That's a big issue of mine..."social rejection/rejection sensitivity"

WOW...it's already going away for you? Only a couple days or so...that's amazing. I know everyone is different, but I'm so happy to know it's possible.

Best post I've read all day. Makes me very happy of what's to come when I'm done with my 4G's.

Awesome!

[eternity]

i can definitely feel something going on, it is very automatic too and since the naturalizer is not in this sub, i can attribute the fear going away to the sub.

[sushi521]

i started messaging girls that either A)i am friends with on facebook and don't know or B)girls I knew from the past and haven't talked to in a while.

fear of rejection and/or fear of what other people think of me is fizzling away ^_^

How were your fears in general before running it?

[Shannon]

i can definitely feel something going on, it is very automatic too and since the naturalizer is not in this sub, i can attribute the fear going away to the sub.

The naturalizer isn't in it? Didn't read the description of which technologies are in it, did you. Why wouldn't you be able to attribute the fear going away automatically to a subliminal designed to make fear go away automatically because it is also designed to make the experience a natural progression? That makes absolutely no sense.

[eternity]

the fears were bad enough to where i didn't bother messaging the girls i've been wanting to message for a LOOONG time. in the past, when i would go up to the plate, ALMOST ready to send the message, the fear turned into procrastination "oh i'll message them later" and/or negative self talk, looking at the messages i sent to them a couple years ago when i was extremely intoxicated, and made me ashamed looking at the messages....

[eternity]

i think i had slipstream and naturalizer confused, so there goes my assumption.

also, shannon. AM6 and SM3 had me thinking that whatever was being worked on was already within me, and didn't seem so much like it was the sub, even though i know for fact it is.

[eternity]

day 15

So i showed the girl i'm dating the subliminal and she's fascinated by it, and thinks it's sexy that i'm working on my fears

so that's cool. and then i realized that since I don't have a car, and i'm getting rides from people, it's almost entirely women that give me rides to places. now that's a big change from before. and it's not like i really need to "ask" for a ride, it just happens.

so this fear destruction has gotten me a bit cocky by removing some of my defense mechanisms. yesterday, i took a big cup of my kombucha that i had been brewing that i should have thought TWICE about since it has a bit of alcohol in it. it turns out it had a LOT MORE alcohol in it than i thought, and i was playing with FIRE because i drank the whole thing and started feeling a bit loopy. I should have showed a healthy fear that it is going to trigger my alcoholism and have dumped it out after i tasted it, but i drank the whole cup. and then proceeded to spend the next two hours obsessing over what i had just done and wanting to drink more, so i dumped the rest of my kombucha out. PHEW. that was a close call, i was pretty close to throwing away 14 months of sobriety down the drain. but all in all, i think it was a necessary event. who knows, maybe a month down the line when i'm in my own house, and after having listened to OF5g for 40 days, i would have not had the support of sober people around me and i might really have thrown away the 14 months. who knows...

i've noticed a huge improvement in approval seeking too. i've been able to humble myself and not feel the need to speak my opinion in "fear of" not having my voice heard and opinion stated. i don't NEED to have an opinion all the time, and when I DO, it doesn't need to be stated all the time. although i got called out by teh owner of the sober house for being quite lately at the house meeting, and when i told him i've been humbling myself, he said that's all fine and dandy but my wisdom is needed at the sober house meetings.

the above incident is why i'm CONVINCED we need human interaction to be able to gauge and evaluate our progress of the subs. the interaction with the owner allowed me to introspect after hearing a different perspective and then re-direct that perspective back to my growth in relation to the usage of my sub.

i'm also CONVINCED that is also why my SM3 run had been as successful as it was. since I was interacting with people all day, I would make lots of mistakes, recognize them, and then grow from it. The goal of becoming a SEX MAGNET was so far away from my starting point, that it required lots of tempering and rounding off (and still does need a LOT of) requiring practice.

so to bring it back full circle, i need to face my fears in order to grow from them. "outgrow them" as the description page describes.

well, this was a long rant.

edit/update: oh i also got a gym membership today. i wonder what fear was stopping me from doing that until now? maybe it was procrastination ;P

[Breeze]

i've noticed a huge improvement in approval seeking too. i've been able to humble myself and not feel the need to speak my opinion in "fear of" not having my voice heard and opinion stated. i don't NEED to have an opinion all the time, and when I DO, it doesn't need to be stated all the time. although i got called out by teh owner of the sober house for being quite lately at the house meeting, and when i told him i've been humbling myself, he said that's all fine and dandy but my wisdom is needed at the sober house meetings.

This part really intrigues me and further goes on to convince me what I have realized since starting this sub, that fear is one-faced, and every other label is an illusion. If I were you, in that exact position, I'd have spoken my mind out since I didn't state my opinions out of fear of being judged in the past.

So far I believe fear boils down to fear of the threat to identity or survival. That's it. Any more labels cause only confusion. But my beliefs are subjected to change as I progress through the sub.

[eternity]

that's definitely what fear is. learned fear is an avoidance or a negative response to something due to environmental conditioning that acquired that behavior in response to a threat to identity or survival.

i absolutely know that to be true. I was brought up in a fear based environment, where my dad was an authoritarian bossy man that used emotional, verbal, and physical abuse to maintain order in his house. ( most indian people have this same upbringing; it's unfortunately tied into our culture and traditions.) so therefore my "compliance" to authority is not because I respect authority, but because I fear it. I fear it when I should sometimes question it.

and i think it's necessary to label it because fear comes in a thousand different forms, but yes at the end of the day it is simply fear. but how can we talk about it and describe it without labeling it? the use of the label comes in handy to discuss it this LARGE mess of negative crap we call fear and identify bits and pieces of this mess to clean it up.

[Shannon]

day 15

[snip]

so this fear destruction has gotten me a bit cocky by removing some of my defense mechanisms. yesterday, i took a big cup of my kombucha that i had been brewing that i should have thought TWICE about since it has a bit of alcohol in it. it turns out it had a LOT MORE alcohol in it than i thought, and i was playing with FIRE because i drank the whole thing and started feeling a bit loopy. I should have showed a healthy fear that it is going to trigger my alcoholism and have dumped it out after i tasted it, but i drank the whole cup. and then proceeded to spend the next two hours obsessing over what i had just done and wanting to drink more, so i dumped the rest of my kombucha out. PHEW. that was a close call, i was pretty close to throwing away 14 months of sobriety down the drain. but all in all, i think it was a necessary event. who knows, maybe a month down the line when i'm in my own house, and after having listened to OF5g for 40 days, i would have not had the support of sober people around me and i might really have thrown away the 14 months. who knows...

[snip]

If you had a problem with alcohol in the past, why would you be brewing anything with any alcohol at all in it? That sounds to me like a sneaky way your subconscious was trying to do exactly what happened.

But ultimately, you did the right thing. You transferred the processing of safety to the rational mind, which made the right choice regardless of emotional desire to do otherwise.