Ascending to Alpha

[DavisMind91]

Stage 1, Day 15

- Great feeling of being emotionally grounded

- Told my mother something she needed to hear as far as encouragement goes without worrying about how she would react

- Spent Time with my wife and child, with my wife responding in a pretty positive manner the whole time, we even kissed a couple times.

- As I was backing out of a parking space, some teenage Walmart employees were in the way. They weren’t moving so I honked the horn. They all looked at me and then continued their conversation without even moving. I pressed on the gas pedal and nearly hit a couple, they looked at me like I was crazy. Hey, I tried being a nice guy but since that didn’t work, the hell with it.

[Life]

So are you transcendant or ascendant

[DavisMind91]

So are you transcendant or ascendant

I actually meant to name it “Ascendent” since that’s the term Shannon uses. Don’t know why the word Transcendent kept coming to mind when I named this journal, although there is a book in my library about masculinity that touches on a philosophy that “transcends” the idealism of an alpha vs. beta male sort of view.

[Life]

Because they go hand in hand

[DavisMind91]

Stage 1, Day 16:


Today I mostly just notice that I’m a bit more talkative than usual. I was also cracking people up all day at work, and a little while ago while hanging with my best friend. I’m also noticing myself talking naturally louder, even when I whisper.

[DavisMind91]

Stage 1, Day 17

No way I can listen to the masked tracks overnight anymore. They seem to have me waking up tired as hell, and I typically even have a tougher time going to sleep with them on. When I play the ultrasonic overnight I actually wake up with a surplus of energy. Lesson learned, AM6 is the only sub so far I’ve had this experience with.

[Life]

Any advice for someone descending to Alpha

[DavisMind91]

Any advice for someone descending to Alpha

I don’t think going alpha male is descending unless you’re a god lol. My only advice so far is never be ashamed to be something rare in society, at least so far.

[DavisMind91]

Stage 1, Day 18

- Feels like I’m starting to cruise, usually when using a sub I start to feel bored with it at the 20 day mark or so but nope, not with AM6. Maybe because it has so much scripting. I had an urge earlier to indulge in articles that spoke on alpha male qualities and masculine traits.

- somehow my wife and I are slowly reconnecting.

- I speak louder most of the time without consciously thinking about projecting it like I used to have to do.

[Life]

Any advice for someone descending to Alpha

I don’t think going alpha male is descending unless you’re a god lol. My only advice so far is never be ashamed to be something rare in society, at least so far.

So true

[DavisMind91]

This isn’t a daily update but something I wanted to type here as a reminder. For the 2nd time in 7 days I woke up with my headphones off in the middle of the night, it’s not that they fell out of my ears, they were taken out and shut off. No one but me could’ve done this because I sleep alone in a locked room at night. My only guess is this is some sort of subconscious resistance which pisses me off a bit because I’m losing precious listening hours. I literally went into my own mind and cussed out my subconscious for screwing with my self-improvement. Things I said were pretty profane so they won’t be repeated here.

Now obviously this sounds crazy but at times I find myself needling to speak to my own mind like a drill sergeant in order to get it to cooperate, luckily this is a rare occurrence. We’ll see how it goes from here. Thanks to my subconscious I’m 3 hours behind on listening time which means I need to find a way to catch up on listening time between classes and at work. Not so bad when I’m in school normally except I have exams in both classes today so I can’t have my phone out or earphones in. At work I usually don’t have that quiet of an environment to listen until around 7pm or until I work on a weekend day.

Either way I’ll get my 10 hours in before midnight one way or another.

[DavisMind91]

Stage 1, Day 19:

Managed to get all my listening in, I’m even doing a bonus hour right now.

- My wife today keeps telling me how much she misses me and actually wants to work things out.

- I came to the realization that I have no idea in what direction to take my life in next. Even though I’m on a certain path, I’m only here because I don’t know what else to do and everything else I’ve tried so far has failed so now I have all this ambition and energy being directed into things that I know I would rather not be doing.

- Momentarily faced the fear once again that my life may end up stagnant and that I may not live up to my potential.

- All these thoughts and yet I reminded myself that my journey isn’t over and that ultimately it’s up to me to make things happen.

It feels strange to just keep going when you don’t truly know where you’re headed. A lot of the material I’ve read about masculinity in the past 2 weeks have stated that a real man has purpose and vision. I’ve definitely had these things before but now, I’m unsure of where to steer the ship due to having all pathways blocked. Seems my next challenge is finding or making a way and a decision.

[DavisMind91]

Stage 1, Day 21:

- Energetic all day without doing anything out of the ordinary, eating, or drinking any stimulants.

- I was super unfocused at work and kept making very silly mistakes.

- Every time I spoke to a woman today I made her laugh.

- Starting to notice that I'm more talkative

- My wife seems to be getting more affectionate towards me daily.

- My daughter was super excited to see me today, she usually wants to stay with her mom.

- My voice is getting naturally louder

-I don't care what people hear me say.

- Keep getting looks from women between 20-60 years old everywhere I go.

- Women seemed very pleased when I was in their presence or they spoke to me over the phone today.

3 weeks on stage 1, thought this was going to be kind of boring but damn was I wrong. If anything it just seems to be pushing me to express my true self more each day, as opposed to just showing the calm and composed version of me that I usually do.

[DavisMind91]

Day 21 update:

Almost forgot to mention that I'm beginning to feel an extreme indifference towards porn and fapping. This is weird because I have a high sex drive, so high that a couple months back, I seriously considered using both the stop masturbating and overcome porn addiction subs, now I feel like I'd be wasting my money buying them, I barely think about porn, and even when I get an urge to fap, It feels controllable now as opposed to something I had to do just a few weeks ago. Even right now I have an urge, but each urge gets weaker while my willpower strengthens.