Artemis does AM6

[Artemis]

I drank alcohol for the first time in a year yesterday and I noticed the affects of the sub had still worked on me even though I had the sensation of being tipsy in my mind. I recommend that you do some gratitude practices. It's tough to imagine that you could feel bad knowing that such awesome subs are working on your mind but personally nothing makes me feel better like achieving my goals. Do the things you love and try to make each day your best! Give back to yourself and pay yourself first!

Thanks

Fonzy

Thanks Fonzy. Tis is something I think we all know but find hard to actually incorporate into our lives. I am getting better at this though
-------------

I told myself I wouldn't post so early but a lot of things happened from my last post up to this one. On Friday I went to Disney Land with my graduating class and had a great time. Initially I was alone at Disney Land and kind of sad because i couldn't find any of my friends and I've always felt so alien among my class, but I told myself to look at the positives:

Since I was alone I didn't have to wait for anyone or anything and I could do exactly what I wanted. So that's what I did.

I found it really interesting that when I was looking for other people to hang with I couldn't find them. For the first few hours I was consciously looking for people to hang out with until I just stopped. All of a sudden people from my school start popping out of the wood works. A group of people invite me to go to on the Log Ride with them, and halfway there I ditch them because I didn't find their company all that great.

I felt a bit guilty about ditching them, but because I ditched a girl I knew gave me a fast pass (Which allows me to get to the front of the line and skip the 45+ minute wait) and some alluring eye contact. It was awesome. I got off the ride and began searching for friends again. Didn't find anyone so I just resigned myself to having as good a time as possible by myself.

Another group of friends popped up and I had another great time. By the end of the night I became pretty assured that when I needed a group of people to hang with I'd find them. I became really unattached to the people I was hanging out with, and when I no longer felt the good energy I just left, and sure enough another group would turn up.

We got back into town at about 5 in the morning and I had the option of going home or sleeping over at a friends house. I slept over and I had another great time. Usually my parents are very strict about me sleeping over because they believe any time I'm out of their site I immediately start doing drugs and getting into trouble. I just said **** it and went and had a good time, which was just sleeping over and then going out to lunch later. Just normal teenager stuff that my parents are against for some reason.

I realized how much better I feel when I'm with my friends as opposed to home. As I write this my friends just left my house no more than 15 minutes ago and I can already feel myself going into that lonely/depressing hole I seem to call home. I realized that I'm at my worst emotionally when I'm alone for long periods of time. I definitely need to force myself to socialize more because it gives me another perspective on things and boosts my mood. Days after being around others my mood is still high.

Right now my problem is that I still live at home, and I"m planning on getting a job this summer, but even then I can't afford an apartment, and none of my friends have homes that I can stay at for a good amount of time. My only option is to remain at home where I'm rarely allowed to go out and my only comfort is staying in my room, which leads me to be lazy, depressed and just masturbate all day.

So my only focus right now is to leave this damn house and take care of my emotional health.