Antaeus' AM6 Reboot Journal

[Antaeus]

So it just dawned on me: it's very subtle and sneaky but my mind is trying to come with any and every excuse to quit doing the program. Deep down I know I shouldn't quit. but somehow I think my subconscious is trying to trick my emotions by getting me to feel like change is hopeless or that it'll be impossible once I get a full time job (more on that in a second), which I know is complete bull-shit and nothing more than an excuse.

I just recently applied at a nuclear power plant about half an hour from where I live. Kinda nervous but I'm glad I took the first step.

Also a job opening came up at a major oil refinery about 1.5 hours from where I live. I got an email about the job posting from my advisor and there are 7 openings. I'm really struggling to get myself to fill out the application and go for it. Even if I don't necessarily qualify. I believe with these sort of things there is fear operating underneath the surface. I don't know where this fear stems from but it has stopped me from reaching out for many things that I want in life. This includes the possibility of dating. I can't say I've ever directly approached a girl for a date in my life. But I digress.

This fear is something I know I must deal with head on.

This is a real breakthrough. I think I'm starting to recognize where my resistance is.