Ampers&d Finds His Mojo [SM3.0]

[Geodude]

"I DID NOT HIT HER. I DID NOT. Oh hi Mark!"

Dude I found a treasure trove of limiting beliefs that I've been clearing. I highly recommend clearing this shit.

"I need to look good in front of people"
"I need people to like me"
"I'm unworthy of sex with beautiful women"
"I don't deserve sex with beautiful women"

There's more but that's a great starting point. You'll notice that you don't give a fuck nearly as much once you clear these.

[Ampersnd]

"You're just a leatel chicken, Geo. CHEEP, CHEEP, CHEE-EEE-EEP!!!"

Stage 5, Day 15,

Why is it that money and my long-term vision and purpose have been on my mind today, and not women? Fortunately, I'll be rocking BASE after this run is over, and we'll see if BASE will put me in a position to rock BAMM afterwards. I don't know how to use BAMM, or its instructions, but I take it that I'll need to sort out things I want to sort out before jumping into a 12 stage program (with 64 days each, right?).

My instinct has been telling me to move to Los Angeles to pursue this music career, and the more I think about my career, the more I'm starting to see past the bullshit of institutions; universities, churches, corporations (labels, production companies); after all, it's all composed of people playing out roles. It all really comes down to that. If I can firstly disconnect from their opinion (completely), and then become more self-actualized, all while being able to empathize with these people, then there's really nothing to fear.

Don't even know if LA is a good place for that; logically, Nashville seems like a better place. And even so, I'm a Canadian citizen, so VISAs will have to be sorted out.

These two videos were extremely helpful:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaegnd3xaVI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXd5H2P6wz4

The first one, moreso. It's about a rather established actor, after 4 years of hustling and justifying his existence in Hollywood, sharing the stone cold truth about the business; you gotta work hard, day after day, to get by. If you're not willing to do that, go home.

I wonder if BASE and BAMM make menial or otherwise unpleasant tasks more fun and enjoyable to do, or just raise willpower to do them anyways.

Studying hard for a midterm for Tuesday, got a date for Wednesday.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 5, Day 16 (halfway through stage);
Plays: 234 hours

Today; I was running around, going to class, order some REAL leather shoes for work instead of the fake-leather-break-in-6-months shoes (I work at a clothier, so it's warranted).

After my classes, I got home and have been studying ever since.

I keep seeing beautiful women at inconvenient occasions (as in they're walking fast), but I'm currently not in the mood to go up and introduce myself; my operative thought is "Meh". Looking deeper, I realize it's likely a resignation that it "probably wouldn't work out, therefore not worth the effort".

I intended to go to bed early today, but I got some last minute studying, and I picked up my guitar to work on scales. I made one discovery after the other regarding the patterns of the fretboard with major/minor scales, which absolutely blew my mind and will change the way I see scales forever! Not even joking, it's thrilling!

Still have to practice to drive it into my muscle memory, but it will be fun. I realize that most guitar blunders and failure to play fast has to do with hesitation, rather than inadequate neural pathways.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 5, Day 17,

I'm having occasional flashes of wanting to connect with women and being open and vulnerable (authentic), and it making complete sense to me. But the next minute, I don't really care to. I would take it that this program has an 'Ultra Motivation' equivalent when it comes to women, and I've been resisting with passivity and apathy. I would presume that my mind will bow down to the instructions before long.

Had class, and pretty much connected the dots with the guitar scale formula after class. The rest will come down to memorizing them and putting the finishing touches on certain concepts, but it's very solid.

Had a midterm later on in the evening, which went well, and I've been working hard to cram for an Italian quiz for tomorrow. Whenever I think I've lost my "hustler mentality", I realize that I've still got it, but it's all focused on school. In a way, I'm glad SM hasn't distracted me from school too much (anymore), and I have a major assignment due a week from now as well.

Pretty full day tomorrow, and tomorrow night, I have a date (girl that was too sick to hang out last week). And two weeks ago, she was on her period. So we might be ripping each other apart then, provided all goes well. Plus I'll have likely have a healthy meal of pussy (I love giving head).

Wrote a part of a new song today; music seems to be flowing more than usual. There have been periods of great inspiration, and those are very thrilling.

Time for sleep!

[Ampersnd]

Stage 5, Day 18

After several months of complaining...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o

Let's just say I'm still qualified to sing with Akon.

I broke a multi-year dry spell by having penetrative sex.

EXPLICIT CONTENT BELOW!!! NSFW!!

It was with the girl I was seeing in August, and I also saw her a few weeks ago. We met near my place after a pretty busy day, had coffee right down the street, talked, then walked back to my place. I was still dressed up from work, and so I had to undo a lot of clothes to get ourselves naked. She was very enthusiastic, and I was taking my sweet time.

She's a virgin and she was very tight; after 69, I could barely get a finger in her, and she was much more, let's say, "loose" than the other times, and she managed to get a couple of G-spot orgasms for the first time. I suggested that we try penetrative sex, and after some calm back and forth ("I'm not sure", "I'm nervous", "It might hurt"; which I took as "no, not yet"), I could tell that she was curious, and she eventually suggested I try going for it.

We took it slow, and used a lot of lube, and we eventually did it. She was in pain at the start, so I took it very easy and we took breaks, but she let me keep going despite the pain (which had me feel guilty). She eventually started feeling pleasure, and more than pain, so I was able to start humping and getting all of me in there (she loved it). I eventually came inside her (with condom), which was amazing.

It was a good experience; I think she had a good time (she shared her virginity with me), and I'll keep on seeing her.

Even while having sex, I was thinking to myself: "Was I really getting myself worked up about this?". That is to say, after this program I'll need to focus on business and my life goals instead of getting caught up with women. Women are fun, but they won't fulfill my life nearly as much as fulfilling my life goals (will use BASE + eventually BAMM).

[lokko]

Good results bud. I don't know for anyone else but taking a girls virginity is a big deal to me. I want it so bad (which I had the chance) but I don't want to have a girl way too attached to me if I don't see a future with her.

[gelimang]

Finally you find your mojo dude...
keep goin', just one last stage...

[Geodude]

"Even while having sex, I was thinking to myself: "Was I really getting myself worked up about this?". That is to say, after this program I'll need to focus on business and my life goals instead of getting caught up with women. Women are fun, but they won't fulfill my life nearly as much as fulfilling my life goals"

Felt exactly the same in stage 5 and onwards

[Spiritman]

"Even while having sex, I was thinking to myself: "Was I really getting myself worked up about this?". That is to say, after this program I'll need to focus on business and my life goals instead of getting caught up with women. Women are fun, but they won't fulfill my life nearly as much as fulfilling my life goals"

Felt exactly the same in stage 5 and onwards

This is exactly why I am going to do BASE after I finish AM6. I want to get my career on track and start generating money into my life.

[stratos]

Then you make a million and think Damn all that extra pussy I coulda been chasing me.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 5, Day 19,

My thinking has changed regarding women (for the best), mostly because of yesterday.
I was in a work mode, though I was able to enjoy sushi (a meal I really like), and then worked zoomed by. Progress was slow and steady.

Anyways, on changed thinking; when I see a girl, I ask myself whether or not I see myself having sex with her, instead of just basing it on "cuteness", or "hotness". There's a distinction, since this new view is about chemistry, since I want to 'feel' the desire, not logically want to have detached sex. So when I'd see a girl, I'm thinking "cute..", but then: "Would I really want to?", then often it's 'no'.

This could be a mental trap, where I need go for another woman because of "higher standards" so I'll stay alert.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 5, Day 20,

Work project, Class, something interesting, Work, Meal, Work project.

The interesting thing I did was call my dad and told him that I appreciated him and the things that he's done for me. I got the idea from this video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPl8Xt6bIok

I usually don't ever tell my dad these things, which makes it all the more motivating to do. I don't want to regret not having told him what I felt.

At work, I saw a woman that I fully felt sexual desire for (I authentically wanted to have sex with her 100%; not out of ego boost, or out of playing out some mental game, but authentic desire), but she came in with her boyfriend/husband.

I get these bursts of resistance in my chest, but by the time I finish what I'm set out to do, the resistance isn't there.

Though I have a class assignment, I'm going out tomorrow night. Gonna meet some siñoritas (Latin Night)

[Ampersnd]

Stage 5, Day 21,

I'm going to write this to vent a bit, but I'll use this segment to use PSTEC upon.

Worked 8 hours, then I got home, ate, then went out to a latin themed event.
It's VERY easy for me to go up and start conversations with new people. I can make conversation well and rather easily. I can have women around me, but...
NOTHING'S HAPPENING WITH THEM!!

Shouldn't I be able to pick a particular woman and try something with her? Shouldn't I know what to do when that happens? Shouldn't I be able to read when a woman is interested, and transition smoothly from there (I can't)? Should I generally want to go out (I typically don't)? Why do I keep seeing guys who are extremely smooth all on their own? Shouldn't I know this stuff?! I mean, I spend 5 months (plus 6 month foundation) with a program that says it will handle these things.

If, after using Alpha Male and Sex Magnet you don’t achieve sex with beautiful women, you really just don’t want it.

How convenient, that I just don't "want it badly enough"
Fuck, I'm a bit pissed.

Ok. Good, gonna PSTEC this ^^

[Ampersnd]

The above is now 85-90% clear after enough PSTEC; now, I don't really relate to it. I'm committed to the result, and it would be nice to figure out, for sure, but I'm not very worked up those things.

I did have fun at the event. Gave my card out to some new people, so they can contact me however they like. This cute 17 year old added me on Facebook soon after; to put it this way, she was cute enough to inspire me to Google search my country's age of consent.

At work, I met and chatted with the CEO/President of what is no-doubt a multi-million dollar company for luxury cuff-links for men. His name is the company's name (like Georgio Armani). Very nice guy, with a commanding presence.

My sub progression will likely be (after SM) --> BASE (8 months) --> SM Stage 7 --> AM6 (2nd AM run) --> BASE --> Something --> BAMM