Ampers&d Finds His Mojo [SM3.0]

[Geodude]

You start automatically approaching women during stage 3.

[Ampersnd]

@Geodude; That's good to know; so far, I've just been leaving them alone.

Stage 1, Day 29

I went through a large portion of the day feeling like everything's hopeless. This reminds me in part of Stage 3 or 4 from Alpha Male. It's as though no matter how much action I take, no matter how much I practice, no matter how many women I approach, nothing's going to change. I have a feeling that it's a belief that's dying, but will not go quietly.

This evening, I spent 3 hours busking, basically from 11pm to 2am, catching people leaving their country bar. I made about 48$. That's pretty weak compared to the amounts that I often get. It was Thursday night, so I expect Friday and Saturday to be more eventful.

I have some funny little stories about drunk people. This guy who was making a web series was interviewing me with off the wall questions, like "best sex you ever had", and I referred to the first time I had sex, and that makes me realize that I'm a very late bloomer, and I want to get this area handled in my life.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 1, Day 30

Today was another day where I felt some negative emotion; partially an existential crisis of why we're on the planet, and some of the same emotion I had before starting SM, which was the pain of knowing that I didn't have this area of my life handled. I keep seeing pretty women pass by, and I'm hesitant to go up, or go beyond saying something. I likely attribute this to my past history of creeping women out, and putting in a lot of effort.

And, of course, two separate guys, unaffiliated with anything, casually start chatting me up about the bi-Ble and other bi-Ble-related things, while I'm busking. Both happened within 5 minutes of one another, and they kept me in captive audience (wouldn't let me go)

While busking, some women passed by, and I simply wanted to be inside them. At other times, I would be very harsh and critical of their bodies or their personalities. Neither are exactly cool with me. All this did calm down by the end, where I actually was smiling at some stupid stuff.

My day went like this: recovered from last night (noon), signed up for hours in market, ate, finished recording the final 10 days of the guitar program, uploaded everything, learned a new song, went to the market from 9PM - 11:45PM, napped with Sleep Magic, went back to the market from 2 - 3AM, and now I'm back home. I'll be using Hypersleep for the first time, and it'd be really cool if it works. I probably made 20$ for that amount of time, which is oddly small, and rather pathetic. But it's a very weird weekend, kind of like my city's market is a set off a movie, with cut and dry extras walking past.

Time for bed!

[Ampersnd]

I can confirm that Hypersleep works, but I still overslept; I went from 4am to 6am with Hypersleep, and I slept until 10. Fortunately, I kept alarms to keep me from sleeping past 11, since I have to work.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 1, Day 31

New HD VDO: http://youtu.be/5cyA2twjU2g

Enjoy it while you can, laddies; there will come a time where I'll erase all the links from my threads, and eventually just send it to people's inbox by request.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 1, Day 31

I don't want to belabour the point, but I had hit a very low point this evening; a mix of anger, despair, and depression. The anger is that others are able to figure out areas of their life with ease, while I've been working for months of different areas, and haven't figured it out. Despair because I think "others have it all figured out"; other musicians are booked in pubs, while I play on the street for chump change. Depression because I'm becoming weary of fighting. Random things have been breaking in the past few days; this electronics piece of my guitar, the strap of one of my bags, my wrist watch strap, and so on. I don't feel that I can effect much power on the world.

I'll keep it at that. I'm tapping on it as we speak. I know that this is classic resistance, and this must mean that removing this resistance will allow something deep inside me to blossom into something beautiful.

I might just jump into Stage 2 out of frustration, but I usually do the right thing, so I'll probably jump into it tomorrow night.

[Ampersnd]

I'm not dead; I'm just in the middle of hectic work period. Will post again soon.
Made a decision to find happiness no matter what happens; that will probably transform my life in itself.

[Ampersnd]

Stage 2, Day 12,

Here's a video I just created, while thinking that the forums were down:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnmS1ogQPEM

There's a whole lot that I could post about, but I'll post it as I think of it.

Not much as per external results, thought breakthroughs, or emotional shifts.

I've had it, like right now, where my nervous system feels frazzle-dazzle, and there's this ball of stuck energy in my chest the size of a couple of baseballs. It's hard to be charismatic or emotionally free when that feeling comes to visit.

I've approached a couple of times, and one was very sexy; I was direct and told her I don't like games. So what does she do? Suddenly stop replying. Who knows, maybe she lost all her fingers and can't text? Or maybe she's dead. Until then, I'll have to find another female companion.

NOTE: I may write morbidly; just consider that it's all a joke.

[Geodude]

Honestly, you look cooler with every vid you post. You know what? I'm going to start posting vids too.

[SargeMaximus]

Telling her you don't like games probably killed the good energy she had, or at least showed her you weren't "fun". Games are fine, so long as you're directing them. The idea (I think) is that you have to vibe with the woman. Getting her to "fall in line" or "put her in her place" are all so very forceful. A woman is already under tremendous pressure in society to BE/DO something. What she needs (I believe) is to be allowed to be free, that's where the man comes in.

Also, something that's helping me is not to consider ANY woman hot, amazing, etc. She's either "cute" or "ok".

I had an instance at work where this guy and me were talking. He said something about the princess diaries, and I looked behind him and there was this hot girl (yes, lol, hot) and I'm like "Mmmm, princess diaries..."

He took the cue and looked behind him. When he saw the girl and looked back at me, he was CRAZY. Wide-eyed, excited "Holy sh*t man!" he says "Do you see that girl??"

"Yeah." I say "But hey, are you going to cut that sheet for me?"

He's like "Yeah, but that girl! She's hot, right?"

"She's ok," I say (the girl, interestingly, looks over at me RIGHT THEN) "You know what's beautiful though? This sheet! I mean, just look at it! and when it's cut and in place, it'll be even BETTER!" lol.

Like that.

[Ampersnd]

@SargeMaximus; What do you mean when you say: "Games are fine, as long as you're directing them."? Why can't both parties just play nice and, you know, not toy with one another?

It bothered me because I set a term, and she uses it against me. Anyways..

[SargeMaximus]

@SargeMaximus; What do you mean when you say: "Games are fine, as long as you're directing them."? Why can't both parties just play nice and, you know, not toy with one another?

It bothered me because I set a term, and she uses it against me. Anyways..

Well, there's such a thing as being a "stick in the mud". You gotta play with her. If you can't, she'll assume (and assume correctly) that sex with you will be just as dull and controlled. She wants spontaneity, LIFE, impulse and RAW EMOTION. Sex IS a game (I believe), one we play now that we've grown up lol. Hope that makes sense.

Now, if you actually WANT to be set as a provider/"beta husband", then by all means, go 1950's. But breaking the rules is fun, and being outlaws together creates a great dynamic.

[robstar]

@SargeMaximus; What do you mean when you say: "Games are fine, as long as you're directing them."? Why can't both parties just play nice and, you know, not toy with one another?

It bothered me because I set a term, and she uses it against me. Anyways..

Well, there's such a thing as being a "stick in the mud". You gotta play with her. If you can't, she'll assume (and assume correctly) that sex with you will be just as dull and controlled. She wants spontaneity, LIFE, impulse and RAW EMOTION. Sex IS a game (I believe), one we play now that we've grown up lol. Hope that makes sense.

Now, if you actually WANT to be set as a provider/"beta husband", then by all means, go 1950's. But breaking the rules is fun, and being outlaws together creates a great dynamic.

This.

[chiller]

There's a difference between playful teasing games and the games people pull to manipulate others to do things for them.
The playful games is the spice in any type of relationship, regardless of in which stage it is in.

The manipulative games, which I suspect you are talking about, you don't have to bother about until someone actually pulls it on you, and it's only right there and then you should, and have to put your foot down and firmly inform the other person that it's unacceptable.