AlphaReInvention

[RainbowAbyss]

Hey can't find my last journal its been so long since I've posted.
Just a quick update. I'm halfway through stage 3 Alpha 5.0.
I've been running each stage for around 40 days. I have had almost zero resistance..except for the first day of stage 3.
Each stage has made my life significantly better.

stage one-I became more proactive..felt more whole...and more positive in general

stage 2-I started using my time very valuable--stopped taking shit...spoke my mind more...stood my ground...spent less time with anything distracting and more time learning, taking action towards actively improving myself and my life conditions. Less sense of background insecurity and anxiety in life but much more motivated. Started to see myself more as adult and the real responsibility that fully entails. This has helped ground my idealistic thinking more and more into reality. As in I am doing/ and or work towards things I've always wanted for my life.

Stage 3-First day was heavy depression-did not give a shit about anything--this gradually receded and was replaced by a un-reactive disposition. Loving spending time alone more and more...I've been very comfortable socializing in the last few years but this stage seems to make me more interested in socializing in ONLY a way I care about and has me comfortable directing the conversation much more strongly. My libido is also AMPING up-while at the same time my need for woman and/or sex is going down...interesting combination

so far this set is amazing...I might go right into Alpha 6 after this.

[SargeMaximus]

Wow, great results. Would love to see you on AM 6 or SM 3!

[Fonzy3]

You can go to "user cp" and click " find all threads" if you like. Your results are great man. I thought you were supposed to use each stage for only 32 days though.

Thanks

Fonzy

[RainbowAbyss]

@Fonzy
thanks man-and your right-I do an extra week because I only listen for 8 hours at night
and not at all during the day.
@Sarge
thanks man-very excited for the AM 6 and SM 3 will be doing those in that respective order after this set.
Holy Shmoly
I've lost track of time.
I took a week off from Alpha 3 since
I was waiting to buy the second half of the set. But it
it is high time I moved on to stage 4.
Stage 3 results stayed solid. Very comfortable in myself...following my own
horn..MUCH more motivation and ability to follow through...rock star socially but am I more then happy to not get involved with others. More confidence in being in touch with my emotions, choices, and preferences.
The big themes for this stage seemed to be about respect, not always needing to be nice, even if I value kindness, and not wasting time.

[RainbowAbyss]

Wooo...
Going way to long on Alpha these stages
but I've been traveling and there are weeks
I just can't listen so it's taking a little longer.
I'm pretty much done with stage 4.
This was the toughest stage by far...been re-evaluating my whole life.
There have been aspects of more hardcore unconscious emotions and conditioning that are being de-rooted by Alpha it seems. Things like Deep 'stuck-ness' in my life, and 'betrayal' of my father, he bounced when I was 18 and have only seen him once since (of his choice), that I am seeing and experiencing fully but with strong observing ego. So the places where this things ran me are no longer running me. There has been some crazy anxiety in this stage but people have been commented on how clear and calm I seem, even when experiencing that.
My appreciation, respect and feelings of attraction towards woman in general have grown but my need and interest in pursuing woman is straight zero son. (Although scores SM3 journal is very inspirational in that front).
stage 4 changes in a nutshell...
more motivated
less lazy
facing discomfort head on
increased standards in the woman I'm even willing to entertain-in the physical attraction dept. as well as whole human being sense
stronger focus
looking out for my life first but focused on bringing out the value in others
comfort ignoring people, or shit that irks me with no qualms.
My confidence is situations where I have to act decisively, warrior it up (have a plan, know what to do, act on it), get something down that's 'scary' etc. is WAY up...as well
as well as quite a bit up in situations that require me to think and act on my feet.
My body language is changing again which is kind of surprising to notice yet still feel so natural. I'm just smoother and more comfortable..and most of the time feel way sexier then I have been earlier this year.
I've cut out almost all my friends in my life...I'm still social at times but don't really confide in any one
whose not a professional at whatever I'm confiding in them in.
Also just downloaded EPHRA--(THANKS SHANNON FOR THE FREE RESOURCE!!), probably shouldn't run it with Alpha 5...but curious to try it.
I am so impressed with the direction this site and forum are taking, its amazing how powerful some of these resources are getting

[RainbowAbyss]

A couple weeks into stage 5,
Stage 5 got really hard at the beginning at certain points.
A lot of resistance...old insecurities coming up
...a lot of self criticism with where I should be in life and I'm not
Things have cleared up and as of now changes I noticed
1. Without being overbearing-I just never stop working, reading, or doing something
than in some express/specific way moves my life forward or towards what I want.
It's not just motivation-its like taking action is the only choice, a full autopilot habit.
2. Being around woman, even one's I am very attracted to, feels very natural, my status feels secure and everything about myself feels bulletproof and imperturbable in relationship
to whatever they do.
3. I'm assertively standing up for what I want, what I believe in, what I care about more often
4. I find myself leading more, telling guys what to do, not in a bossy way, just taking control of indecisiveness.
5. I'm telling people, especially woman, 'the truth', if there being out of line or even stupid.
I'll see about the other stuff

[RainbowAbyss]

Wrapping up stage 5.
I really enjoyed this program up to stage 4
there were some mature changes in that stage
in terms of being more driven, assertive, and in stage 5
beginning comfort around
woman not caring-but the general 'good feeling' of my life started to plummet towards
the end of stage 4 and into stage 5. It was all fine since it seemed I was working towards something and doing things I had strongly resisted doing in the past which was a big breakthrough for me.
But I'm seeing now that resisting those things was perhaps for a reason. All the natural incentive I had towards working for myself turned into normal work since for financial reasons I couldn't keep supporting myself while I worked on my own business and personal training. So I've taken a crappy bar job and now I'm working 4 days a week in that and 3 days a week doing freelance..and cleaning for my gym so I can train myself and clients there for free. So I'm busy all the time and it kind of blows.
Now I feel right back where I was years ago a bit. I'm a different, more capable person, absolutely, I like to believe that but I still can't separate that out from my life circumstances, which are really pissing me off. Maybe that is Alpha, but I figured Alpha would be independently fulfilled from within and then act assertively and accordingly.
Also, I've gone out a couple times in the past few weeks, and man do I feel 'off my game'. The whole nightlife scene is a bit of its own beast, and a splash not to 'high consciousness'...but even when I was having a great time and being super confident...things either were clicking but didn't work out for whatever reasons... or things weren't clicking, with my friends or with woman...and it feels like its cause I want something out of it...whatever..its always a fun process to learn again. I just have a lot to hammer home I guess...One more stage and then I'll be running AM 6 after this.

[Spiral]

Much respect to you.. You are doing what you need to do, it sounds like, to make things happen in your life and that's extremely impressive. More power to you, bro. I'm doing it now too with many challenges ahead.

[RainbowAbyss]

thanks Spiral, I feel great hearing that it,
best to you in killing it in your life as well!

[RainbowAbyss]

So I think I realized some of the difficulty in the later stages
I'm struggling with some of the newer added issues-but I am also seeing a new light in the benefit of this issues being dealt with
New inclusions from Version 5.0:

Acceptance of, and feelings of deservedness of, being treated well--this has gone way up
Deserving respect from others: Huge now-and I do get alot more respect
Self love and liking yourself-this has been a huge point of resistance-but my self love is getting stronger
Valuing yourself-another huge point of resistance-especially since I tie my self esteem up with success with finances and success with woman-but my self esteem in both those areas has raised-as well as my self esteem simply being with myself.
Extended ego balancing
Strong, centered masculinity and masculine presence-I do feel more masculine and centered-I'm not sure how much more of a masculine presence I am projecting
Destruction of negativity within you concerning yourself and others, and replacement with positivity-this one is working a number on me-I have been very motivated by negativity for a long time now, insecurity, and anxiousness hidden behind well meaning intentions-it feels like it is being really rooted out
Self acceptance with continual striving to be better than you are-absolutely-this is so the norm now-it is like breathing-at times I have been a bit 'manic' with it but I am being more present and enjoying the process more
Destruction of laziness-I was a very lazy person before this Alpha set..I worked hard at times-but in general was very lazy -I am not lazy AT ALL any more-I work my ass off with things I don't want to, discipline, and things I love to do...
Motivation boost--on and off-the habit is always there-feeling the motivational rush is on and off
Doing what needs to be done, because it needs to be done, and that is the way of the Alpha--yup--I'm doing the right thing and what needs to be done way more
Extroversion enhancement and training---not so sure-socializing is easier-but making real connections and new friends hasn't really happened-I also haven't really given to much care to that...socializing with woman is awesome when I have no agenda...having an agenda on the alpha set is pretty difficult for me
Self forgiveness---another huge point of resistance-starting to really realize that I can take responsbility for some of the terrible conditions in my life and emotional life without blaming myself or others-this seems like forgiveness to me
Social stability, skill and strength---again-absolutely-my learning curve is through the roof-a little practice goes a long way
Overcome abandonment issues--this has been the hardest struggle of the set...I've had this terrible feeling of isolation alot throughout the set-especially after stage 3...I would guess that might be this issue getting dealt with...my dad did actually, literally, lie to me and betray me, and abandon me-when I was a teenager/young adult coming into my own...and I ignored it and pretended it didn't matter for the longest times-but I have been having clearer feelings about it since this Alpha set
Success training--not sure about this
Gratitude---at times--I've actually felt quite despondent at times, but the gratitude always seeps through
Self trust---again getting there---I have a ton of self trust in certain situations and not so much in others-also self trust around family and worry of letting them down is really hard for me
Self image of man, instead of boy---slowly but surely
Leadership training and development----definitely-I am making choices and decisions and including others in those
Decisiveness training---I'm seeing this alot as well-I make up my mind and do it
Authenticity and congruence training--not sure-I feel I struggle with aligning all my aspects of self and life together..I do feel very genuine and 'authentic' though
Destruction of jealousy and possessiveness, and replacement with self security, self reliance and self satisfaction---another big struggle--sometimes I go out and am absolutely carefree about anything with woman or who they are with..but other times the jealosy, as in the anxiety and fear about losing something that isn't even mine, or not understanding why one girl or woman would want to be with someone else instead of me gets pretty strong...it always dissolve pretty quickly with all the abundance of woman out there--but it can be like a nagging...I do feel this set has made it better though...SM actually shot my jealousy through the roof...
Constant self growth and progress--it is constant and sometimes seems huge and other times seem just daily learning and small differences that hopefully add up over time

[RainbowAbyss]

I wrote this in response to someone who had just finished AM 6 and I'm positing it again here



I'm almost done with my second run of an Alpha set
and the first finish everything was low-moderate
and now there moderate-high to High
I am pretty disappointed with Alpha not doing anything with woman other then
caring less about not needing/being with woman when their not in my life or in my presence.
I've yet to read any real difference results with Alpha concerning controlling with whom and when one has sex...approaching woman, or having a strong SEXUAL presence....
I can turn down woman I am not that into for sex easy but I'm not about to turn down woman I find sexy and attractive-I see no reason to...nor do I feel the choice and power in 'not missing out'..again sex and woman are far from Alpha's focus but I think by the 6th version someone would have had stronger results in that area independent of running SM or WM sandwiched between 2 Alpha sets.
I've read and agree that being masculine, in the primal self, the reptilian brain is deeply connected to success in career, and success with woman, men just feel more virile and passionate, and the two success feed eachother, its different then the character traits of an Alpha and more about the instincts of an Alpha and Alpha Sets just doesn't seem to address these aspects and instincts for me, or from what I have read...its a great program that makes quite a life change-I just feel it is missing those points-but I guess that's what SM and WM are for.

Do you think someone can be totally alpha badass in their life, and not have success in work, or with woman? I totally see how Alpha set changes can make MAKING changes in these areas easier...but imagine. To me being 'Alpha' and not succeeding in these areas-makes these areas more difficult to deal with since I feel I have to much self respect, self worth, and indifference to bother going through the more difficult, possibility contradicting to my own alpha okness that these subjects can bring...on the other hand I do feel more ok being open to learning and being temporarily vulnerable and/or losing face for my overall greater good. There is just a bit of resistance/dissonance between the two

[RainbowAbyss]

Almost half way done with stage 6
the most difficult stage so far.
way more in charge of myself and my life
my physical body language change is immense..
I feel like there is armor on me, and anything that feels like disrespect
not tolerated...I perceive disrespect much more as non-acknowledgement or
ignoring from others, I can handle confrontation but non-acknowledgement still drives me crazy...
I have had patches of anxiety around 'always' losing out to other men, in life and with the woman I like, and this jealousy/anxiety has led to the manifestation of those circumstance on occasion it seems. I wonder if this is the extrication process of that prior jealosy/anxiety or something territorial I am noticing due to Alpha Set.
I've been going out solo twice a week and have noticed I can have a great time socially but it is difficult to push myself with 'intention', if I don't really like the chick, I disqualify her quickly, quicker then I'd like to actually...
I also got natural seduction 5g the same day I downloaded tinder. I listened to it for an hour a night, especially before meeting up with woman. I went on three first dates with woman I essentially didn't know...2 ended in sex, and one in a kiss, all were very enjoyable actual dates though. I listened to natural seduction for an hour before going out one night..it was a bit of a miss though...a was in a pretty good state, but wasn't relating like a man to a woman, with woman, more self amusing jackass.

[SargeMaximus]

Cool. Yeah AM stage 6 was a surprise to me. In AM 5, it kinda tapered off, but it seemed to get more intense as it went on in 6. What do you plan to do next?

[Benjamin]

Nice man... I wish I lived in a big city with tinder. I live in a small place and got my first lay off it a few weeks ago and was impressed and how quick and bullshit free it was. Just meet.. talk a bit.. have sex.

If I lived in a big city I could clean up.

I notice that at higher confidence i'm naturally just the self amusing, joking around type of guy.. and that's okay.. but it's not like i'm the class clown or anything.. I can relax and relate and be serious if needed.

-Ben