02-06-2012, 10:48 AM
So something I'm noticing a lot more, especially on this second run through of Alpha is I've become very picky about women. Now this could be due to my perfectionist nature and projecting that onto others or it could be a result of the sub.
I don't know, I see some guys chasing after girls and I'm thinking to myself why? The best way I can describe it is I feel like me and a girl really have to click, otherwise I get bored. I've yet to meet a girl like that, but in all honesty I've got a lot of other stuff on my plate. At the same time I use that as a clever excuse not to push my comfort zone as much as I should. I don't think I'm a one night stand kind of guy, because if a girl became interested in me after that I just couldn't put her through the pain of chasing after something she can't have. I grew up as a really sensitive kid and still am pretty sensitive to this day, so I just have a lot of empathy for others I guess.
But who knows maybe my attitude will change towards casual sex. Alpha just has this tendency to make you feel really solid and complete, so you don't look for anyone else to fill a missing piece inside you or something. I've made a lot of progress from where I started off before these subs, but as always there are ups and downs that I just have to fight through.
During my winter break for college though I had a pretty strange experience. I used to have this girlfriend in middle school and I broke up with her before I went off to high school(we went to different high schools). Not gonna tell you my whole life story here haha, but long story short we are friends again. Now for me this was a crazy coincidence because I always felt guilty about breaking up with her and felt a lot of negativity was attached to relationships from that experience. I apologized to her for my actions as a kid and felt a lot of that guilt leave me. It was strange how long I held onto that guilt.
If you asked me a couple years ago, I'd probably tell you this was just a coincidence. But now I firmly believe the sub manifested this situation into my life.
I don't know, I see some guys chasing after girls and I'm thinking to myself why? The best way I can describe it is I feel like me and a girl really have to click, otherwise I get bored. I've yet to meet a girl like that, but in all honesty I've got a lot of other stuff on my plate. At the same time I use that as a clever excuse not to push my comfort zone as much as I should. I don't think I'm a one night stand kind of guy, because if a girl became interested in me after that I just couldn't put her through the pain of chasing after something she can't have. I grew up as a really sensitive kid and still am pretty sensitive to this day, so I just have a lot of empathy for others I guess.
But who knows maybe my attitude will change towards casual sex. Alpha just has this tendency to make you feel really solid and complete, so you don't look for anyone else to fill a missing piece inside you or something. I've made a lot of progress from where I started off before these subs, but as always there are ups and downs that I just have to fight through.
During my winter break for college though I had a pretty strange experience. I used to have this girlfriend in middle school and I broke up with her before I went off to high school(we went to different high schools). Not gonna tell you my whole life story here haha, but long story short we are friends again. Now for me this was a crazy coincidence because I always felt guilty about breaking up with her and felt a lot of negativity was attached to relationships from that experience. I apologized to her for my actions as a kid and felt a lot of that guilt leave me. It was strange how long I held onto that guilt.
If you asked me a couple years ago, I'd probably tell you this was just a coincidence. But now I firmly believe the sub manifested this situation into my life.
