Alpha Male take two

[mat422]

I read that book a while back, it definitely was an eye opening book. Too much self help is full of puppies and rainbows, I think it causes others to walk all over you. That book was straight to the point.

I gotta admit your friend's joke caused me to laugh a little just because it's so absurd. If one of my friends said that about me I'd just be able to laugh it off and not care because I know it's not true. But the reason he said it was probably just to get approval from others. Let me ask you something, does this guy only make jokes about you when you are with a group of people? He sounds like a guy that would be alright when you are with him one on one, but when he gets in a group he acts like a different person. The whole competing for attention thing and feeling pressure of not being left out.

Ben, I think the fact that this guy made a joke about you to lower your value just shows that he's insecure around you. I used to get caught up in the "I'm not alpha" thinking, but once you run through alpha again you will care less and less. Interestingly enough, the less you care the more alpha you appear! It's such a paradox, but you really start to feel like an Alpha Male so you don't have to prove it to yourself.

Don't let those jokes get to you. They aren't about you. It's about the person that's telling them. No matter how confident a person appears on the outside, the one tell tale sign of insecurity is when they make jokes at the expense of others.

Yeah it is pretty stupid, but it still effected me. Yeah he only really seems to in a group. It's hard to see it as his insecurity I guess because he is usually the leader of the group. He must have been threatened when I was doing Alpha as I seen him alot less then. I guess the fact it effected me is one reason I want to start it again. I've decided to give Ideal Weight another month and if I don't notice much i'm going back to Alpha.

I like no more mr nice guy so much i sent it to my father hoping he would read it and see if it could help him on his problems with women telling him he is to nice.

Did he read it?

Funny that I started reading it last night and it has the list of 'symptoms' a nice guy has, and I realized my improvement, where before when I read it I got down because of that list, this time I cared less and it highlighted some of my changes.

-Ben

What makes you say he's the leader of the group? Is he loud and outgoing and always tries to take control? In my opinion it doesn't matter who is the leader or not. Sometimes I let my friends lead, sometimes I do. Some "leaders" are really just control freaks who feel threatened if anyone tries to take away their control. In my opinion a true leader values everyone else in the group, just because he is leading doesn't mean he is controlling or dominating.

Anyway, I don't know you personally Ben but I'd be willing to guess you are heavily focused on yourself and overly self critical. That's how I was for a while and what happens is you spend so much time thinking about yourself that you fail to realize that other people aren't perfect either. Just because somebody looks like they have their shit together, doesn't mean they do. So don't be too hard on yourself.