11-14-2011, 06:03 PM
So stage 2 hit me pretty hard and I'm having a bit of a rough patch. Woke up this morning dead tired. I try to get at least 8 hours of sleep, any less than that and I'm awful the next day. Not just tired, I get headaches, depression, irritable, just a storm of negative feelings. So today was a bad day for me. I just didn't want to be in any of my classes at college, I pretty much went through the entire day in a haze, not learning anything. On top of that I just wanted to get away from people.
But that being said I acknowledge that these are only feelings and emotions that will pass. In the meantime I'll just ride it out. I remember from my first run through of alpha stage 2 was particularly rough on me and made me lash out a lot in a very aggressive manner at times. I think it's just anxiety and feeling threatened, so I get more aggressive. I'm just trying to be conscious of this behavior. Right now though I feel very on edge.
Sometimes I wonder though how much of my desire to interact with people is hindered by my anxiety and how much I really just don't care. Some days I honestly don't feel like speaking a word to anyone. I'll just have to see once I finish alpha.
But that being said I acknowledge that these are only feelings and emotions that will pass. In the meantime I'll just ride it out. I remember from my first run through of alpha stage 2 was particularly rough on me and made me lash out a lot in a very aggressive manner at times. I think it's just anxiety and feeling threatened, so I get more aggressive. I'm just trying to be conscious of this behavior. Right now though I feel very on edge.
Sometimes I wonder though how much of my desire to interact with people is hindered by my anxiety and how much I really just don't care. Some days I honestly don't feel like speaking a word to anyone. I'll just have to see once I finish alpha.
