01-07-2014, 04:51 PM
Had a session with my therapist today. Things are looking up. I think a lot of it is just having validation. So instead of seeing myself as a failure who isn't trying hard enough, I'm able to see myself as a person struggling with issues and doing the best I can with what I've got. Compassion for yourself is pretty important I think, otherwise you're just beating yourself down and keeping yourself stuck in a negative state.
And related to that, positive thinking really sucks. Maybe if you're a little down it's good to pick you up out of a rut. But full blown depression I've found that positive thinking has the exact opposite effect and requires a tremendous amount of energy with little to show for it. I can't pull a complete 180 just by thinking positive. So instead I'm trying to keep a more neutral disposition and find things that naturally bring my state up and increase that type of positive energy. Easier said than done however because of the numbing type effect that happens with depression. I find more often than not that I tend to force myself to enjoy something and that causes stress. I think the key is to take any kind of enjoyment, no matter how small a feeling it is and build on that.
And related to that, positive thinking really sucks. Maybe if you're a little down it's good to pick you up out of a rut. But full blown depression I've found that positive thinking has the exact opposite effect and requires a tremendous amount of energy with little to show for it. I can't pull a complete 180 just by thinking positive. So instead I'm trying to keep a more neutral disposition and find things that naturally bring my state up and increase that type of positive energy. Easier said than done however because of the numbing type effect that happens with depression. I find more often than not that I tend to force myself to enjoy something and that causes stress. I think the key is to take any kind of enjoyment, no matter how small a feeling it is and build on that.
