08-21-2013, 01:44 PM
(08-20-2013, 07:12 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: I got like this today actually, that feeling that nothing will work, why try, why continue, I'm a special case where nothing will work for me etc.
My coach has told me about this and says that when that feeling hits in full force, you are on the verge of a breakthrough. I've experienced the proof enough times to know he's right, which is why I keep going even when it truly feels 100% impossible. So I applaud your stubbornness as well. It's best to keep going.
Don't worry about the advice either. It'll all be there when you regain your senses.
Hopefully I have some kind of breakthrough soon. I guess this was a breakthrough by itself in a way.
Just thinking about some more things today. I think over the years as I felt burned by a lot self help methods and even my own attempts at change I internalized the belief that change wasn't possible. I have to undo this somehow. This could be the one belief that holds me back the most. If change isn't possible, then no matter what I do nothing will work. The thing is, I have changed for the better from these subliminals. Change is possible, I just don't understand why I believe that I'll be stuck with depression for the rest of my life.
The other thing that was on my mind today. If I could eliminate all my negative beliefs, would I still have the drive to want to be an alpha male? I've touched on this before, but I'm unsure whether or not my desire for growth is positive vs based in insecurity. I guess I can't tell until I actually separate the two. But I feel like I'm starting to do that.
On a side note I'm gonna be starting back on working out tonight. Exercise is great for depression and I've been sedentary too long. Right now I'm just worried if working out is gonna make me more tired and depressed though. It has had the opposite effect on me in the past. But I'll give it a shot for a month or two before completely writing it off.
