Alpha 5.0

[SargeMaximus]

This is good. It means what we are going through isn't as overwhelming as we might think it is.

I think we definitely decide within ourselves how overwhelming something is; like you said, beliefs.

What is your definition of good with women? Maybe establishing that first will help you break it down into small parts instead of this whole mess that overwhelms you. Just some thoughts. Sometimes when you create ridiculous expectations of yourself it gets paralyzing.

Well it's simple really. Good with women to me means being able to hook up with the ones I want and have sex with them. Sure it's a primitive nature, but I've got the other stuff licked (conversations, etc). Thing is, I can't find that "crack" in reality where I have sex with these women. I think I just gotta go for it somehow.

Pretty close. I've gotten a lot more accepting of my situation than I was in the past and I've learned I just have to do what I have to do, regardless of it seeming not alpha. But it does make me wonder how other people out there can be confident and stuff without subliminals. I see their reality and mine, both of them are vastly different. I just can't figure out why it's so hard for me to have that reality as well.

I've wondered this as well. But maybe the subliminals let us achieve things we normally couldn't, but the difference now is that we won't, whereas before we simply couldn't, if that makes sense.

But let me guess. You don't believe it right? Catch 22 huh? In order to get good with women you have to believe you are good, but you feel like you can't have that belief until you actually are good. You sound like you're on the right path though.

Exactly, I don't. And I think that's what everything is boiling down to. When I look back on times when women were literally throwing themselves at me or following me around stores or out of stores etc, never once did I think (hmm, this girl is really into me, do I want her?) like, it never entered my mind that I had a choice. I think I've been going at it from the position that the girl has to give me permission, and while I'm not condoning rape, I am saying that you gotta assert your wants. Lay it on the line, and take what comes to you, while leaving the rest alone.

I definitely get what you are saying. People are really in tune to those subtle feelings you create in yourself. Non-verbal communication and stuff.

I've thought of similar things regarding inner trust. I think what you are describing though is beliefs. Think about it, individuals who are good with women believe themselves to be, it's that belief that allows you to trust yourself. You can't force yourself to believe something, I've tried. Otherwise it will feel like a lie and how can you trust yourself if you feel you are lying to yourself? Thing is, they might feel like lies, but if you think about it even more it's just our interpretation. I mean in your case you believe you aren't good with women, but that's just a belief right? Sure you may have experience to back up that belief but in the end that belief is what manifests your reality.

Yes, so true, and yet, you can change your beliefs (or, so my coach tells me).

Basically you write down your current belief(s) saying "Currently I believe/I currently believe..." then you re-phrase it so that it's a belief you want. So in this instance:

1. Currently I believe that I'm not good with women.

1. Now I believe that I am good with women and I can choose to bring any that appeal to me and make their attraction obvious into my service.

Then all you do is write the re-structured belief once a day for 2 weeks, then let it settle in the unconscious.

Now, I don't know how effective this is or how it compares to subs, but I still do them whenever I identify beliefs that I want to change and they seem to help.

Theories, concepts, that's all I got unfortunately. I'm great at articulating this stuff. Living it though, that's a whole separate thing for me I haven't really gotten the hang of yet. All I can say is, it's down to accepting those new beliefs into your life and starting to live that reality. Unfortunately for me I feel like I have a hard time accepting those new beliefs. My guess is fear. I think some individuals just have more sensitivity to fear. It's like the deep end of a pool when kids start learning to swim. You've got the kids that jump right in and then you've got kids that avoid it because they fear it. I think fear is a very powerful force that can hold you in place, the most frustrating part is it's a very primitive behavior that doesn't respond to logic or reason.

Keep moving forward.

Yeah man, I think you're bang on. I also think fear is probably a big issue for the both of us. Have you used OGSF at all? I was considering it but it depends on how I do in the next few months. I think I made a big breakthrough today but I'll detail that in my own journal.