07-09-2013, 05:19 PM
Things are still rough. I think I'm at that mid way point again, like limbo. I feel a little better. Stage 2 I think was exceptionally rough for me.
I've noticed that I'm a little more at ease. I'm more productive. I've been able to work on my music without that crippling fear of doing something wrong or not good enough.
But other than that, results so far aren't too obvious. Change is just slow for me and maybe sometimes I have to look back on stuff to realize I have changed. So the combination of being slow plus not being entirely aware of it makes it hard to gauge progress. I guess the upside to that would not as much resistance because it doesn't come as a shock.
Shannon if you get a chance to read this I've got a question about alpha 5.0 and being incredibly tired all the time. Recently I've moved back to 8 to 9 hours of sleep which is a hell of a lot better than the 6 I was getting before. But I'm so damn tired. I can barely make it through the day without a cup of coffee. I can't tell if it's depression or fatigue, they can mimic each other really well. But I'm so spent. Every day has been so hard to get through and the stress just makes it even harder. It's like a bad feedback cycle where I'm tired, stressed because I'm tired, more stress more tiredness. Fridays are quite honestly the happiest days for me because I have the weekend where I don't have to work. I just don't feel as functional as everyone else around me.
I've noticed that I'm a little more at ease. I'm more productive. I've been able to work on my music without that crippling fear of doing something wrong or not good enough.
But other than that, results so far aren't too obvious. Change is just slow for me and maybe sometimes I have to look back on stuff to realize I have changed. So the combination of being slow plus not being entirely aware of it makes it hard to gauge progress. I guess the upside to that would not as much resistance because it doesn't come as a shock.
Shannon if you get a chance to read this I've got a question about alpha 5.0 and being incredibly tired all the time. Recently I've moved back to 8 to 9 hours of sleep which is a hell of a lot better than the 6 I was getting before. But I'm so damn tired. I can barely make it through the day without a cup of coffee. I can't tell if it's depression or fatigue, they can mimic each other really well. But I'm so spent. Every day has been so hard to get through and the stress just makes it even harder. It's like a bad feedback cycle where I'm tired, stressed because I'm tired, more stress more tiredness. Fridays are quite honestly the happiest days for me because I have the weekend where I don't have to work. I just don't feel as functional as everyone else around me.
