05-05-2013, 04:04 PM
Well these past two days were pretty bad. I think the sub is bringing up some stuff that needs to let go. I had a pretty bad mood swing from friday into saturday. I think my biggest problem is I have a hard time actually letting go. Halfway through my day today I just had to lay down in my bed and I just passed out. I just felt paralyzed, stuck. Unless I absolutely have to do something, like work, it's like my willpower to do it isn't there. I did work on some music on saturday though, I hit a huge block halfway through though. Sometimes just doing enjoyable things feels like work.
I like to think that I'm a pretty strong person. The problem is sometimes I keep pushing and don't address those emotional issues as well as I should. I'm pretty sure it builds up after a while. They are bad feelings and I'm reluctant to feel them. It's not as simple as a 30 minute meditation and feeling better either, they stick around. I don't want to feel this way anymore, but I feel like time is the only thing that will help me move on from it.
I like to think that I'm a pretty strong person. The problem is sometimes I keep pushing and don't address those emotional issues as well as I should. I'm pretty sure it builds up after a while. They are bad feelings and I'm reluctant to feel them. It's not as simple as a 30 minute meditation and feeling better either, they stick around. I don't want to feel this way anymore, but I feel like time is the only thing that will help me move on from it.
