05-02-2013, 01:44 PM
(04-30-2013, 08:30 PM)Sean Wrote: I can't wait to read your progress, Mat.
(05-01-2013, 04:18 PM)Shannon Wrote: Me either.
Thanks guys. Due to my nature I'll probably be only making a few posts when I really have something to say. But who knows, maybe as I progress I'll want to share my thoughts more.
My mood has been slightly elevated. Either the sub has affected me already in just 3 days or just the idea of creating changes in my life because of it is enough to make me feel better. Either way it's a good feeling, it feels like a solution and that's enough to relieve a lot of anxiety about feeling powerless to my situation.
I've come to the realization that I have gotten better. Just not to the level where I feel like my mind is always striving for. Which doesn't matter, because where I came from I'm just grateful I was able to transcend those tough times. That being said, I've refrained from allowing my depression and anxiety to get any worse. I recognize that at this point in my life they aren't severe, maybe more of a moderate level. The point is, I'm dealing with them and not letting them get the best of me. At the same time I'm not brushing them off as trivial. I started taking supplements to support my mental health in case I was deficient. And I'm scheduling a doctors appointment soon to check out some physical stuff. I'm trying to find a balance of where I can express how I feel without feeling like I'm lying to myself or making excuses.
The problem is that despite my ability to function, things seem off. And this makes it hard to explain to others around me how I feel. On one hand I'm grateful that I'm not in an incredibly bad state. On the other hand, what some people see on the outside isn't a good representation of how I feel. I never stop striving, but sometimes it is a lot to deal with and it frustrates me.
