Shannon, I wrote this thread almost a year ago. Considering I am still facing old issues, I am still wondering the same thing: DMSI or AM?
I write here feeling like I'm bowing down to a male figure, like I should be submissive, or else he'll reject me or abandon me. That comes from my last experiences with my closest sibling, my brother. In a 13 year old fit of rage, he raped me, then abandoned me. I've hit closer to this root on UD, but I never shared the rape part. My mom walked in, and he stopped, but nothing was ever spoken about it--since she has her own blocked traumas. I've sought out E2, UD, and SE for healing. It is likely my most powerful scar I carry. AM deals with how I deal with males and females, and I've assumed DMSI mainly focused on women, as I'm very attracted to them
But AM, per your words, uses only E1 technology. You suggested I use DMSI when I wrote this. I was very fearful of breaking spiritual parameters (and shame of rejection), so I did not go with DMSI at that time.
Now DMSI has upped the ante a bit. It is still focused on making one irresistible to women. Yet I'm more focused (now, anyway) on healing these sexual and relational traumas. Pointing back to DMSI's usefulness, my mom used me as her last surrogate husband, which did affect every relationship I ever was in, or even imagined. Shame hit me each time when around girls, as the right thing (to me) was to preserve the relationship with my mom. I owned her shame, so in short, it fucked up every relationship I ever had or imagined. I always felt this shame whenever I was intimate with my wife of 10 years. I've been divorced 5 years now, and I've had no girlfriends or relationships since. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I considered AM for the last 2 months and had planned on buying it until I PM'd another member here with this question. He, like me, had tried numerous 5.5 subs to heal old wounds before starting DMSI, and he was brilliantly surprised with its effectiveness.
Though it may appear obvious, would you still recommend DMSI over AM? Thank you for your help in this. It's why I'm here.
And for the record, I'm aiming towards DMSI so I won't be stuck with huge resistance to dealing with these traumas. I realized this yesterday after remembering recent bouts of resistance on E2 (likely from listening too much).
I write here feeling like I'm bowing down to a male figure, like I should be submissive, or else he'll reject me or abandon me. That comes from my last experiences with my closest sibling, my brother. In a 13 year old fit of rage, he raped me, then abandoned me. I've hit closer to this root on UD, but I never shared the rape part. My mom walked in, and he stopped, but nothing was ever spoken about it--since she has her own blocked traumas. I've sought out E2, UD, and SE for healing. It is likely my most powerful scar I carry. AM deals with how I deal with males and females, and I've assumed DMSI mainly focused on women, as I'm very attracted to them
But AM, per your words, uses only E1 technology. You suggested I use DMSI when I wrote this. I was very fearful of breaking spiritual parameters (and shame of rejection), so I did not go with DMSI at that time.
Now DMSI has upped the ante a bit. It is still focused on making one irresistible to women. Yet I'm more focused (now, anyway) on healing these sexual and relational traumas. Pointing back to DMSI's usefulness, my mom used me as her last surrogate husband, which did affect every relationship I ever was in, or even imagined. Shame hit me each time when around girls, as the right thing (to me) was to preserve the relationship with my mom. I owned her shame, so in short, it fucked up every relationship I ever had or imagined. I always felt this shame whenever I was intimate with my wife of 10 years. I've been divorced 5 years now, and I've had no girlfriends or relationships since. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I considered AM for the last 2 months and had planned on buying it until I PM'd another member here with this question. He, like me, had tried numerous 5.5 subs to heal old wounds before starting DMSI, and he was brilliantly surprised with its effectiveness.
Though it may appear obvious, would you still recommend DMSI over AM? Thank you for your help in this. It's why I'm here.
And for the record, I'm aiming towards DMSI so I won't be stuck with huge resistance to dealing with these traumas. I realized this yesterday after remembering recent bouts of resistance on E2 (likely from listening too much).
I want to be FREE!
