Achieving Nirvana w/ DMSI V2.4 5.5G - Rape Me, My Friends(I'm not the only one!)

[RTBoss]

I get a lot of "What's the point?" type thoughts. It must be some type of fear. It's like my subconscious doesn't really want to find out if it can execute the script fully and get a woman I'm genuinely attracted to initiate a sexual relationship with me.

I'm a very loyal person - loyal friend, family member, and certainly loyal to my wife. I can't help but think that's a lot of the issue, so I'm not only NOT motivated to go anywhere, but I'm actually MOTIVATED to stay home if I can. If I had a job outside of my home, I'd have to go. But I literally have nothing that forces me out. I need to mow my lawn, and I don't even want to do that! Maybe it's because I have *two* neighbors (married) that I'm attracted to?

[chaosvrgn]

Perhaps it's a form of guilt, then? Almost like you feel like you're betraying your wife by running DMSI? When I told my married brother about DMSI, that was his immediate reaction.

[SargeMaximus]

I always wondered why you were running dmsi when you were so against cheating and polyamory.

[bits]

Yea it sounds like your at conflict with the goals of the program, if you know you're loyal to your wife I dont think it would be a big deal if you have other women sending you iois. The only issue may be your wife becoming insecure but as long as you let her know shes the only one she'd probably be more flattered than jealous.

[4Kingdoms]

I usually work the graveyard shift and this afternoon and tomorrow afternoon I have to report to work for training. Right as I was about take a morning nap to have a fresh mindset for training... I thought about you.

You seem to be the only one listening to DMSI that is going backwards. You got it to put the "spark" back into your marriage and while it is impressive from a man's perspective that you aren't putting up with her bs. It sounds like you are getting further and further away from that "spark" that you wanted from DMSI.

It also worries me that you've become withdrawn from society. When you started the DMSI journals, you looked forward to going out with your son and you hardly talk about him anymore.

Yes, DMSI is on the cutting edge of technology and it's great to be part of history!! You may want to rethink your goals and ask if it is worth continuing using DMSI...

[Shannon]

I get a lot of "What's the point?" type thoughts. It must be some type of fear. It's like my subconscious doesn't really want to find out if it can execute the script fully and get a woman I'm genuinely attracted to initiate a sexual relationship with me.

I'm a very loyal person - loyal friend, family member, and certainly loyal to my wife. I can't help but think that's a lot of the issue, so I'm not only NOT motivated to go anywhere, but I'm actually MOTIVATED to stay home if I can. If I had a job outside of my home, I'd have to go. But I literally have nothing that forces me out. I need to mow my lawn, and I don't even want to do that! Maybe it's because I have *two* neighbors (married) that I'm attracted to?

This sounds like the realization that sooner or later, it's going to work. And you realizing the consequences of that fact. Otherwise, why have this response?

[RTBoss]

Thanks for the commentary, everyone.

I think the healing modules and whatnot geared toward getting me to execute the program are just really digging away.

The fights with my wife are considerably less compared to the rest of our relationship (4 years ago in an apartment complex, I'm shocked we didn't get noise complaints or the cops called from all the yelling). I've said it before, we're not completely compatible and we've always had a slightly explosive relationship. It's better now. Much.

The spark is still there. I'm actually getting laid WAY more now. There were times in the past that I got laid twice a month. Now it's easily once per week or more. I probably haven't been reporting on that as much as I should. "Oh, the married guy got laid again. Who cares!?" I figured no one would think that's a big deal, but seeing this from your perspective, 4K, I will try to do a better job to report everything!

I think (read: hope) that this withdrawal from society thing is just temporary. I've been doing things with my son indoors - he asks to watch Star Wars incessantly! I get teary seeing the wonder on his face while Darth Vader is on screen, or when he asks to see BB-8 or R2 again and again. It's awesome to see him into something that means so much to me.

Sarge, I ran DMSI (as 4K alluded) to get the "spark" back. But, I also was never the popular kid in school. I didn't start getting attention from women until I was a junior in high school - only I went to an all male prep school! I think another part is I'm getting older. It's like I'm trying to make up for not being who I wanted to be when I was younger, in a way. There's this inner child that just wants to be "important." I was actually kind of hoping some of these desires would get healed, and perhaps they still will, so I won't make those desires such a priority anymore.

Also, I've done things to my body in the past I'm not proud of, just for the sake of getting attention. Steroids, excessive stimulant use, DNP (that was really dumb). I want to look good, and do it in a healthy manner. Being a dad, I have to be around for my kid(s) for a long time to come! There's some serious junk in my head that needs clearing. I have plans to go back to E2 after the final DMSI product is released and I run that to satisfaction. It's crazy to see women look at you like a piece of man-meat and FEEL GUILTY about it! It's what I want, but when I get it, I feel guilty!? WTF is that? It's that kind of thing I want taken care of. I want to be a confident male, and I think being confident that you're a sexy piece of man-meat is part of that.

[RTBoss]

I get a lot of "What's the point?" type thoughts. It must be some type of fear. It's like my subconscious doesn't really want to find out if it can execute the script fully and get a woman I'm genuinely attracted to initiate a sexual relationship with me.

I'm a very loyal person - loyal friend, family member, and certainly loyal to my wife. I can't help but think that's a lot of the issue, so I'm not only NOT motivated to go anywhere, but I'm actually MOTIVATED to stay home if I can. If I had a job outside of my home, I'd have to go. But I literally have nothing that forces me out. I need to mow my lawn, and I don't even want to do that! Maybe it's because I have *two* neighbors (married) that I'm attracted to?

This sounds like the realization that sooner or later, it's going to work. And you realizing the consequences of that fact. Otherwise, why have this response?

Sure, makes sense.

My end goal is to heal so that I accept myself as being extremely sexually attractive, rid myself of feeling the need to have women's attention as much as I currently do, increase the quality of my marital sex life (check!), and have at least one experience where I have an opportunity to say, "I'm sincerely flattered that you want to fuck my brains out, but I'm a married man. Have a nice day!"

[Shannon]

Well... I hope that you achieve your goals without going too far.

[RTBoss]

Well... I hope that you achieve your goals without going too far.

If I find myself in that situation, I'm going to make a promise to myself to immediately call my wife and speak with her - just to hear her voice or whatever. I'll take my phone out and look at a picture of my family.

I know I'd have a HIGH probability of going too far if I was in a situation where I was out at a bar and extremely drunk. That situation won't happen, as I don't have any drinking buddies anymore or opportunities to be at bar (without my wife). Anyway, if it truly gets to that point where I actually scare myself, I'll drop the program and go back to E2 immediately.

[SargeMaximus]

I get you. I, too, was never popular in school (well, I was in 1-3, then we moved and my emotions and mental health went to shit) so yeah, definitely understand.

[ShanghaiKiwi]

...If it truly gets to that point where I actually scare myself, I'll drop the program and go back to E2 immediately.

Maybe you should take up the 'Increase Your Sex Drive' sub or 'Female Orgasm Enhancer' for your wife to hear. Those might be more appropriate for a monogamous situation, as they influence your wife directly.

I'm taking DMSI specifically because I'm looking to end my marriage (and reenter the market), not salvage it.

[K-Train]

I've actually been feeling like this as well. I've been running DMSI 2.4 since its release and other than one exceptional week I've had zero motivation to do anything. Shannon's response makes me believe that this may be a last ditch effort by your [RTBoss] subconscious. For everyone's sake I hope this is the case. I wish you continued success RT.

[Shannon]

Lack of motivation is akin to a child refusing to do anything but lay on the floor. Nothing gets accomplished. It's an often effective way of resisting.