AbyssRockstarXXX

[Shannon]

almost a month into stage three,
I finally moved out of my childhood home last wed. and into a small but beautiful new apt
in Brooklyn with my brother, we split the rent but are for all intensive purposes fully financially independent and saving money with each other's aid. Bless my mom for her support but it is an amazing thing to feel no need or debt (emotionally and financially ) to/for it, I never imagined how much it more at home in the world I would automatically feel. Its like I have uncovered a new drive and confidence in life that was being covered up.
I didn't think I would miss home but literally the first night out I had a mental breakdown for about an hour and after that it was like a the last 2 years of negative condition, of living in what was left of the essentially dysfunctional family I was in, just disappeared.
As of sex magnet news, there are moments of sheer genius, in the womanizing sense, but for the most part it if very hard to discern anything going on. The changes are so subtle and not really changing my behavior towards more sex or manifesting any sex towards me but I've learned by now to wait to the end of the set. Well actually the changes are obvious but don't seem to be doing too much, or enough, towards the cause of the set. The one obvious change is that woman seem to have sexual impulses around me but are as often uncomfortable or seemingly dismissive of these impulses as they are enamored by me, meaning its kind of hit or miss. At times I find myself with some social anxiety cause by sexual tension, to the point of rending me speechless, which is very unusual for me. I feel 'softer' and less and feel power from flow rather than force. There is definitely some amazing moments with woman but's I am often at a loss to act, as I feel almost feminine in that the woman should approach me, and I am someone who has sacked up and consistently 'cold' approached woman on a regular basis, far before subliminals, to both great success and humorous not so much success. Anyone who remembers what stage 3 SM was like-please chime in as to its effects/results in your lifel, I want to know if I am adapting to the scrip successfully. Shannon any word from you about the proper effects of stage 3 would be much appreciated
I've been a very preoccupied with other things of late so I will report back again after being in scenarios where I relate more to woman outside of travel and girls I already know.
Also I took my first night off of subliminals in several month, no laptop with me, and the effects of SM were MUCH more pronounced after a night of not listening? why is this? integration.
1.

Stage 3 is one of the most difficult to traverse in SM because it is transitional between the major sub-goals of the set. It would seem from your response that you are either having some sort of resistance, or that you do not yet have the experience to quite know how to respond to your new incoming programming. Worry not; it will come.

As for why it seems more pronounced after time off, consider that I create the most powerful, most extreme subliminals in the world, hands down, bar none. Seriously, nobody else uses scripting as intense or complex as mine. And on top of that, the way I build them adds to how extremely intense they are. It's the reason I recommend no more than 8 hours exposure a day, and it isn't surprising that over time, you might benefit from a day off now and then. Once a month should be about perfect.

You have no idea the intense bombardment you are giving your subconscious mind using that program!

[Spiral]

Rainbow.. you idiot! haha

[Shannon]

lol I'm not calling anyone an idiot. But I think it helps to know these things where they haven't been said, and be reminded occasionally where they have.

[RainbowAbyss]

Thanks Shannon, I really don't feel any resistance so maybe I'm just learning to adept, are the major sub goals from pursueing to being pursued?..if so that makes sense about what's going on.
Spiral, I would prefer you expertise comments and vast knowledge in reference to your personal experience of the set

[Shannon]

Thanks Shannon, I really don't feel any resistance so maybe I'm just learning to adept, are the major sub goals from pursueing to being pursued?..if so that makes sense about what's going on.
Spiral, I would prefer you expertise comments and vast knowledge in reference to your personal experience of the set

Yes, the major theme of the sub-goals first to begin pursuit, then to transition to being pursued.

[RainbowAbyss]

then what I am feeling makes perfect sense, its like an indecision between facing any resistance in woman and keep going after it and just wanting to sit back and not give a xxxx. I have not gotten very consistently good at pursuing though, in the non-Brent Smith/ masculine role way, but when I really like a woman or a woman I like engages me I really go after it and have escalated in much smooth/effortless ways then I have then before the set.
Tonight I finally got out to a party, a pajama party. First funny thing to note is that I am sitting on a lounge having a talk with this blonde who was much older but clearly a stunner in her day and she is the aunt of the young lady who is the hostess, I feel something against me and I turn and this very hot model porn-star looking lady is sitting on my arm/shoulder. I say hey and she looks at me and smiles and someone introduces her as the hostess's mom, I ask her some questions but she just smiles, she looks extremely hot for me but never answers. Later I found out she is a showgirl in Vegas and is obviously a gold digger and visits her daughter once a year. Another strange effect, this woman looked like she was in her twenties and she had her juicy ass on my shoulder yet wouldn't speak, some woman are crazy but I definitely don't want to know them anyone-maybe SM was keeping her from speaking to me because she's not healthy lol. I don't even need rubber's anymore I've got perma-protection-JK I always play it safe.
I had a blast and didn't really give a xxx about anything except was really attracted to this one girl I felt like she was hooking me more and more and almost had this power over me-not good -but she really liked me as well, and she looks exactly like scarlet Johanson, of all people-my new kryptonite , we were playing guitar and singing together and when I found out she lives near me I made plans to practice guitar with her. My brother thought I should have been more direct when asking her out and that I was being sneaky but I thought it was pretty 'smart move'. She seemed really excited but as the night wore on she got really buzzed and kind of sleepy seeming which made it really hard to relate to her, she also seemed, or I thought, to realize how much I liked her and that effected things in ways I couldn't see clearly. Although when I went into this side room to get her, we were all riding the train back together, she got topless and into this really sexy see through tank top thing, I had this awesome eye contact while I was totally taking her body in and was just like 'niiice' really slowly, kind of corny but she made me feel a little off center. I regret not kissing her then but she finished getting ready and we were all rushing to catch a train. later I found out one of my best friends, who is a bit of a womanizer and used to be big into Brent Smith (not the supernatural friend thank god), gave her his card and I was feeling really territorial. Its been an issue in the past that I like a girl and become somewhat emotionally invested and then someone I knows ends up with them. Its like I can't ever really like someone and have it work, probably cause I play it safer but I was tired and just felt not so great. Anyway I'm sure we will end up hooking up but I can't help but feel like I'm in a race with my friend, who she seemed to like as well, and who all she has to do is look at his card, which is really funny and cool, and get in touch where I have to text, but we did make plans. Anyway I need to focus on what I want and not on avoiding a past dynamic, it honestly just really always feels like a sucker punch to my masculinity and the negative pull is strong. I also hate feeling invested like this, its pathetic. Just writing this I am feeling much letting go, but I realize I still have some negativity/scaricity/one-itiss come out at times and I feel like it has powerful driving secondary benefit. I'm going to let go and take action towards being with her and deal with whatever else happens when it happens-my new theme Bhagavad Ghita style is be responsible for my labor and not the fruit it bears.
Its strange because on alpha I was completely validation seeking free now I find myself wanting security and possession with woman, territorial instincts going crazy-I don't even like this girl's personality that much, if anything she is kind of too into herself, I just love her energy and sexuality and want to xxxx her and have her not with my friend lol

[Spiral]

I know what you are talking about Rainbow. My "oneitis" was so bad but SM is still doing a lot of work for you as it is for me. I didn't feel that neediness feeling start to really go away until stage 4 and 5. Stage 5 was just really wierd as far as resistance goes but I think as you keep going along you probably won't be as territorial or invest yourself emotionally to things like this as you will realize it isn't worth it to do it so soon. But then if you do feel pretty strongly about your feelings just take the leap I guess and take it as far as you can as soon as you can. In a very graceful way.

[RainbowAbyss]

That's exactly what I was hoping to hear-In a graceful way-haha-I like it
much appreciated. How are things for you as the set closes out?

[Spiral]

I just posted up in my journal about how I've been feeling over the past few days.

Mind you, my parents have been in town so it's been relaxing but my Mom can be stressful for me these days so this may have hindered my judgement in the post.

But things are just looking up and unlike Masterchief I am in no way dissatisfied with my results. A long time ago I realized these changes could take years for the beliefs to be solid in my brain and having the life I know I deserve. Just like everything else it takes time and energy.

I will also add that I was having alot of confused feelings in stage 1 and 2 and now I believe it was related to motivation and taking charge of my life. Like seizing the day if you will. I can relate to what I've been feeling throughout stage 6 like seek the challenge but not on steroids. I may run seek the challenge with a stage or two while on Alpha 2011. I do need to check if they will work together first.

[RainbowAbyss]

I was doing seek the challenge while on Alpha 011 for a bit and experienced some really strong results. Especially my automatic response towards new situations become YES instead of uuughhh. In fact if I was not doing an hour a day of ultra motivation or seek the challenge on Alpha I tended to get a bit lazy

[RainbowAbyss]

votes guys
should I start SM over
or finish out?
I have a feeling I'll be better off in 3 months with success with woman on SM 2 than
I will finishing out and I don't want to wait another 9 months for sm 2 and then have SM3 come out.
That being said it sound like things really pick up later in the set and its good to finish out.

Shannon will having done 3 months of SM1 effect a new cycle of SM2 at all?

[Cortez]

Just finish the one you already have. It's already powerful stuff.

[Shannon]

Not to kill a sale, but I agree with Cortez.

Of course it will affect the results. But you're not going to do yourself any favors by quitting in the middle. However, if you really wanna throw more money my way, by all means.

[RainbowAbyss]

Shannon, always the sales man
alright finishing out is the smarter choice
next question-could I finish sm 1 take a month or two to some other subs and then run SM 2?