02-01-2012, 01:02 AM
well today I was feeling much better, some negativity but its more distance now.
I realize moving out was huge step in releasing many emotional issues and the next step is getting a new job as being in the job I have now is upsetting me.
Today something amazing happened that I blew in the dumbest way.
I was waiting for the train and this woman walks right near me and just waits facing me.
She is literally my dream girl come to life, 12 out of 10 Dark, exotic, voluptuous, amazing natural energy, I feel my heart open and get turned on at the same time. I walk away to throw some garbage out and when I walk back facing her we make eye contact and I feel like we are looking into each other's souls. She is facing my side with her hips 4 feet away just looking all adorable and present. My heart literally starts beating like I just finished a race and I just have to speak to her, she is clearing asking for it. So I turn and say something about how patiently she is waiting and we get into a talk, I am super on and she feels healing and refreshing and exciting and sexual to speak to all at the same time. We get on the same train together and sit right next to each other and the whole time my brother is reading a book next to me. He taps me on the shoulder and says our stop is coming up and I ask her out just boldly, she wants to and we are quickly trying to figure out how to keep in contact, since surprise my shitty phone is dead again, she pulls out her phone and my brother gets off the train and I don't know what to do so I just palm her shoulder and I say "maybe well meet again" and get off..the moment I get off my brother starts screaming at me for following him and not staying on the train. Anyway I have experienced hot connections and met girls on the train before but never like this, it was like we were destined for each other, I feel like I walked away from my soul mate..and the sudden sadness and shock on her face when I rushed off felt terrible. I have never been so moved by somebody from meet to leave and I felt it more than strongly reciprocated. She is from morocco and studying at a school I got the name of...I don't remember her name because when we shook hands and she said it she was giving me make out eyes and holding my hand really tightly and sexually..but I'm going to try to find her again or put up one of those craiglists miss encounter adds. I don't feel negative about the situation just an extreme drive to come together with her again..its the weirdest thing..I have never really thought twice or regretted walking away from a girl before but its killing me that I didn't just stay on the train. Its like whether through the SM, my intention, or some higher power, or a combination of all, I was handed on a silver platter everything I have been craving and I ran away because I never thought to just stay and miss my stop...ARRHG. Hopefully we'll meet again and if not I am grateful and more shall come..and I will never walk away from something like that again lol..it was pure self sabatoge surprise attack
I realize moving out was huge step in releasing many emotional issues and the next step is getting a new job as being in the job I have now is upsetting me.
Today something amazing happened that I blew in the dumbest way.
I was waiting for the train and this woman walks right near me and just waits facing me.
She is literally my dream girl come to life, 12 out of 10 Dark, exotic, voluptuous, amazing natural energy, I feel my heart open and get turned on at the same time. I walk away to throw some garbage out and when I walk back facing her we make eye contact and I feel like we are looking into each other's souls. She is facing my side with her hips 4 feet away just looking all adorable and present. My heart literally starts beating like I just finished a race and I just have to speak to her, she is clearing asking for it. So I turn and say something about how patiently she is waiting and we get into a talk, I am super on and she feels healing and refreshing and exciting and sexual to speak to all at the same time. We get on the same train together and sit right next to each other and the whole time my brother is reading a book next to me. He taps me on the shoulder and says our stop is coming up and I ask her out just boldly, she wants to and we are quickly trying to figure out how to keep in contact, since surprise my shitty phone is dead again, she pulls out her phone and my brother gets off the train and I don't know what to do so I just palm her shoulder and I say "maybe well meet again" and get off..the moment I get off my brother starts screaming at me for following him and not staying on the train. Anyway I have experienced hot connections and met girls on the train before but never like this, it was like we were destined for each other, I feel like I walked away from my soul mate..and the sudden sadness and shock on her face when I rushed off felt terrible. I have never been so moved by somebody from meet to leave and I felt it more than strongly reciprocated. She is from morocco and studying at a school I got the name of...I don't remember her name because when we shook hands and she said it she was giving me make out eyes and holding my hand really tightly and sexually..but I'm going to try to find her again or put up one of those craiglists miss encounter adds. I don't feel negative about the situation just an extreme drive to come together with her again..its the weirdest thing..I have never really thought twice or regretted walking away from a girl before but its killing me that I didn't just stay on the train. Its like whether through the SM, my intention, or some higher power, or a combination of all, I was handed on a silver platter everything I have been craving and I ran away because I never thought to just stay and miss my stop...ARRHG. Hopefully we'll meet again and if not I am grateful and more shall come..and I will never walk away from something like that again lol..it was pure self sabatoge surprise attack
1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
