01-17-2012, 09:29 AM
I feel like I have become present to my own life very strongly this morning
as this is my last day living in the room I have been in since I graduated college
and moved back home. My brother and I rented a place out in Brooklyn that we are paying for ourselves and the situation is a little exhilarating to say the least.
I have kind of just been along for the ride with sex magnet as consciously assessing anything to do with the set is very difficult for me.
I feel pretty good and carefree a lot of the time and am much more shameless and socially confident than before. I have noticed some significant change in my behavior a-lot of which is so instinctive and impulsive now. In general I feel pretty out of control and have no idea who I am even am anymore-its kind of marvelous and kind of horrifying at the same time. I sometimes wake up really angry and just start crying and I am not sad at all-it feels like tension being let go-usually, especially if I am still kind of sleepy and just was dreaming I will also have really strong visions of times in my life when I was younger and have these crazy-revelations/integration's. I am smoking cigarettes again fairly consistently which fits right along with the zero sense of discipline that has been a hallmark of this set.
I definitely feel much sexier and more and more like any woman I talk to wants to be with me...but I am not seeing much results show up in my life lately-in terms of manifestation or anything-more if I am courageous and proactive some stuff might happen but in terms of the natural flow it appears to be on a down cycle. I am also not really getting crazy stares or looks of attraction from woman I find attractive, which I care about more as confirmation of this set doing something than for any confirmation of my own sexual attractiveness-as me caring anything about any self image is pretty non-existent lately.
What I find funny is that my first two weeks of woman magnet-it seemed like all the most attractive woman in the world crawled out of the wood works to appear in some way in my world and I felt totally deserving of them. 3 months into sex magnet-that kind of manifestation has not come close to occuring and when these kind of woman do show up-alot of the time I feel to indifferent/stuck up and don't always feel like I deserve them, to my bones that is, -I'm wondering if the issue of deserving is addressed in this set and if not-definitively something for SM 2.
Sometimes what saddens me most is how massively different I feel and the people closest to me only notice the negative or see no change at all. Is there anything I can consciously do to assist in the manifestation process of this set, as I feel as if I am almost consciously pushing it away.
as this is my last day living in the room I have been in since I graduated college
and moved back home. My brother and I rented a place out in Brooklyn that we are paying for ourselves and the situation is a little exhilarating to say the least.
I have kind of just been along for the ride with sex magnet as consciously assessing anything to do with the set is very difficult for me.
I feel pretty good and carefree a lot of the time and am much more shameless and socially confident than before. I have noticed some significant change in my behavior a-lot of which is so instinctive and impulsive now. In general I feel pretty out of control and have no idea who I am even am anymore-its kind of marvelous and kind of horrifying at the same time. I sometimes wake up really angry and just start crying and I am not sad at all-it feels like tension being let go-usually, especially if I am still kind of sleepy and just was dreaming I will also have really strong visions of times in my life when I was younger and have these crazy-revelations/integration's. I am smoking cigarettes again fairly consistently which fits right along with the zero sense of discipline that has been a hallmark of this set.
I definitely feel much sexier and more and more like any woman I talk to wants to be with me...but I am not seeing much results show up in my life lately-in terms of manifestation or anything-more if I am courageous and proactive some stuff might happen but in terms of the natural flow it appears to be on a down cycle. I am also not really getting crazy stares or looks of attraction from woman I find attractive, which I care about more as confirmation of this set doing something than for any confirmation of my own sexual attractiveness-as me caring anything about any self image is pretty non-existent lately.
What I find funny is that my first two weeks of woman magnet-it seemed like all the most attractive woman in the world crawled out of the wood works to appear in some way in my world and I felt totally deserving of them. 3 months into sex magnet-that kind of manifestation has not come close to occuring and when these kind of woman do show up-alot of the time I feel to indifferent/stuck up and don't always feel like I deserve them, to my bones that is, -I'm wondering if the issue of deserving is addressed in this set and if not-definitively something for SM 2.
Sometimes what saddens me most is how massively different I feel and the people closest to me only notice the negative or see no change at all. Is there anything I can consciously do to assist in the manifestation process of this set, as I feel as if I am almost consciously pushing it away.
1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
