12-07-2011, 02:40 AM
(This post was last modified: 12-07-2011, 02:47 AM by RainbowAbyss.)
This set is amazing, I feel like there is this ego of steel 'in me' that is slowly being welded or melted down by this set. The worst of my dark night is over and now in general I feel so uninhabited, masculine, and carefree and still this intense hits of jealousy come and go like punches to the stomach, they seem like motivators to me.
As I was coming out of the worst of my funk-just seeing a couple on TV hugging would make me wanna cry-and woman seemed so beautiful I felt like my brain died and I would collapse.
I feel on another level-like the less I do.. the better-with woman-there is just this presence or this connection-I'm catching a lot of woman/girls staring at me.
During the peek, or deepest point I should say, of my rock bottom I approached a gorgeous girl in the street at 2 in the morning who was in her pajamas and asked her if that was her smoking outfit we got into a convo and she was really into me. She was taking a break from studying for finals-she was half Norwegian and half African and went to some Norse school I never heard of in Time Square. It was funny because I had just come back from the gym and was shaking with caffine jitters and bodily exhaustion-I really wanted to push things so I asked for her last name for face book-not even thinking that I don't have a legit facebook right now-she told me to take out my phone so I could write it down and then I just asked for her number and I would invite her to a local night scene I go to alot, she lives four blocks from me--she said that she was moving back to Norway after her finals-which were the next day-my instincts told me something was off with this and I wanted to have nothing to do with her after that-I just said maybe I'd bump into her again and left. Probably bailed to soon but I never want to be in a position where I am 'trying' with woman again in my life.
Its funny cause my creepiest friend has made 180 degree turn to become quite amazing, so it seems, with woman simply by quitting porn. He has literally gone from someone who was depressed and in a dry spell, now he is seeing a super attractive girl and having tons of sex with her regularly, and even before that he gets girls to want to go home with him so quickly, only one has gone, one has tried to go with him and I fucked it up by accident, and one wanted to go but wouldn't in front of her friends. Its like he talks to no one and then these perfect situations come along and he just capitalizes, he is just incredibly direct and indifferent. I taught him and encouraged him to talk to girls, get out of his house, and be social-now maybe hes gonna show me how to cure my weak points lol.
As I was coming out of the worst of my funk-just seeing a couple on TV hugging would make me wanna cry-and woman seemed so beautiful I felt like my brain died and I would collapse.
I feel on another level-like the less I do.. the better-with woman-there is just this presence or this connection-I'm catching a lot of woman/girls staring at me.
During the peek, or deepest point I should say, of my rock bottom I approached a gorgeous girl in the street at 2 in the morning who was in her pajamas and asked her if that was her smoking outfit we got into a convo and she was really into me. She was taking a break from studying for finals-she was half Norwegian and half African and went to some Norse school I never heard of in Time Square. It was funny because I had just come back from the gym and was shaking with caffine jitters and bodily exhaustion-I really wanted to push things so I asked for her last name for face book-not even thinking that I don't have a legit facebook right now-she told me to take out my phone so I could write it down and then I just asked for her number and I would invite her to a local night scene I go to alot, she lives four blocks from me--she said that she was moving back to Norway after her finals-which were the next day-my instincts told me something was off with this and I wanted to have nothing to do with her after that-I just said maybe I'd bump into her again and left. Probably bailed to soon but I never want to be in a position where I am 'trying' with woman again in my life.
Its funny cause my creepiest friend has made 180 degree turn to become quite amazing, so it seems, with woman simply by quitting porn. He has literally gone from someone who was depressed and in a dry spell, now he is seeing a super attractive girl and having tons of sex with her regularly, and even before that he gets girls to want to go home with him so quickly, only one has gone, one has tried to go with him and I fucked it up by accident, and one wanted to go but wouldn't in front of her friends. Its like he talks to no one and then these perfect situations come along and he just capitalizes, he is just incredibly direct and indifferent. I taught him and encouraged him to talk to girls, get out of his house, and be social-now maybe hes gonna show me how to cure my weak points lol.
1. There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
2. A thinker sees his own actions as experiments and questions... Success and failure are for him answers above all.
3. I would not know what the spirit of a philosopher might wish more then to be than a good dancer.-F.N.
