ASC and Women Magnet - Spiralout1988's Journal

[ronatello]

True on that last sentence. The subliminal will sort that out in due time, but also consciously tell yourself that you deserve it.

[Spiral]

Thanks Ronatello, I've been using that as my written affirmation now since I still feel that sometimes I don't deserve such things. It's not prominant anymore but I'm sure in about a month I'll have this fully integrated.

As for today.. I seemed very reserved but when spoken to I made conversation quite easily and I was more smiley today. I would also subconciously stop paying attention to something If I had no interest in it (conversation wise). But I also had the ability to pick up on conversations and figure out what people were talking about next or still talking about if I was already in the conversation earlier. I would just come out with something funny. I had myself laughing quite hard today and a few others during these times. It seems that I'm going up on this fluctuation now and I should expect the next several days to be real good. I bet by the time I leave for my trip I'll be down in the dumps again but that's ok haha

Also, my eye contact is getting very hot. I mean that I'm starting to master this soft gaze thing. Now with strangers it's a different story because I catch myself soft gazing all the time and my confidence levels there are still around 60% which before they were probably at 10%. I actually feel my energy flowing out of me into the other person. It's something I can really feel and I've never experienced anything like this my whole life up until these last couple of months. So the eye contact with strangers seems to be worse than before... I'll hold it alot and sometimes wont but when I hold it I'll still question myself. It's not like this with people I already know. My eye contact is just intense now.

[Spiral]

Well my sexual energy is starting to sky rocket and I'm more horny than usual.

[Spiral]

My fear of the unknown is rising to the top at the moment however I feel more social than I did last week. There was another one of those singles dances on Friday but I didn't know about it until today. I would have been more likely to go then than last friday when my thoughts were just all over the place. I was feeling confident and sociable but then at the same time not confident and sociable. and That's what it was. I can't explain it better than that. Now and in the most recent months my confidence has become almost subconcious at least with my tone, my walk, and my look but I havn't been able to believe in myself fully the last several weeks.

Today, I was out running errands and stopped by target to pick up some of those comfortable sony ear buds Ryan had suggested to me. While I was there I was looking for a head band to ensure that the ear buds would be secure during a nights rest. So I ended up in the mens section and there was a sexy girl that was working in that section. Or at least looking like she was working. In fact I think she is what you would have called a floor manager and she looked my age too. As I walked up to her I noticed she was talking to another salesman and this guy looked my age too, maybe a little older. And there was something about him I sensed that he seemed like a cool alpha dude. Either way I walk up and I'm looking at this guy in the eye and never look away once and he immediatly acknowledges me (of course it's his job) and I ask him about the head bands. The girl is to my left eyeing me and immediatly picks up the conversation and I look over into her eyes. I gaze while she talks then I said something. The guy then picks up from where I left off and I look back at him and I've never broken eye contact with either of them and it was so effortless and easy. Anyway this girl offers to show me where she thinks these headbands or sweat bands might be. We find some and she starts joking around with me and I just smirk a little then I crack a joke and she giggles. I've gazed into her eyes already before and gotten her to give me a huge smile. I then say "Well, I'm actually looking for something a little wider to cover more of my forehead." She says "I'm not sure what else we could have" Then I say that it was nice for her help and I'll just think about it. She leaves with a huge smile and goes to the other aisle. I hear her on the other side "I found something else" and I think that's cool. I start walking around but I stop myself because she's coming back to get me. She shows me what she has and hands another head band to me and moves closer to me and as she does this I look into her eyes. she meets mine but immediately looks downward and backs off about 2 feet. of course this doesn't phase me and I crack a joke "at least I have some options now" and she laughs and walks past me and I thank her for the help. I could have taken this further if I was feeling more sociable and this probably would have allowed me to decide to gaze at her one last time and let her look at me and strike up a conversation with her.

I could have had this girl in the palm of my hand but I'm not yet balanced in my center. I have been able to project my sexual aura onto others quite easily and I strongly believe that people remember me and how I make them feel. It also seems like I have trouble going out of my comfort zone but I know it will all be good as soon as I complete Women Magnet. and honestly I felt very good after I had that interaction with that girl. And I was in a very Zen like state when I was talking to her. There fore I was not able to think too much but what I was thinking about was "Is she interested in me, would she want to kiss me, does she want my number." It was all of these old beliefs that faintly came up which is mainly why I couldn't socialize with her on a more focused level. Either way I feel good about it and I know better things are yet to come! And most of all I must continue to know that the women come to me. The right women that I know I want will come to me. I don't chase them. They chase me.

EDIT: My voice is becoming deeper as well.. I'm sure it's because I'm getting older but it's all good.

[Spiral]

I was real negative all last night and I couldn't get to sleep. Over the last few weeks I've been having aches in my body around my stomach area and for the longest time I was tripping out about it and what it was and then my parents and I figured out what the problem was but those weeks of negativity have been coming back and I've had the negative thoughts of me being sick and It was nerve wracking last night. I had to do a sperate set of affirmations to allow myself to remember how healthy I really and and that my immune system is top notch. I truly am blessed for this. Another thing that triggered this negativity is the dream that I had 2 nights ago. I dreamt that someone I knew had cancer. I know soon I'll be over this phase and back in to complete positive mode but it really was bothering me yesterday and still is today and I'm having trouble focusing on work because I have to constantly tell myself how healthy I really am.

[ronatello]

The subs have an uncanny way of pulling up negativity... negativity that was probably pushed down a long time ago and forgotten! One thing I do is keep a journal on my computer and write in it when I feel like it (I should write more than I have been doing but anyways...) so when crap comes up is when it's time to write (even more barrels of fun when writers block happens and also feeling negative concurrently.).

[Spiral]

Well these nasty thoughts are finally starting to subside and I'm feeling pretty good this morning. I wrote out my gratitude affirmations last night and consiously continued to think good thoughts. I also finally wrote out a list of what I want in a women physically and what she does her self and what she does for me. I've written this out before But I updated it it thought hard about exactly what I would want.. and this made going to sleep much easier. I could finally let go of my thoughts.

[K-Train]

Glad to hear all the negative junk is gone Spiral. If anything, going through negative phases is just another sign telling you you're closer to your destination. What stage of Woman Magnet are you on now?

[Spiral]

I believe I'm on day 16 of stage 2.

[Spiral]

Oh man today was great! I wan't needy and I was very confident all day. I had no problems being very social either... in fact I was somewhat ADD but this didn't show in my behavior because my slow and confident moves stayed strong. I am feeling very positive right now and towards the end of the day of work and driving back home I could sense my success coming in the near future again. This usually happens when I'm feeling really good but this feeling was the strongest of all. I felt so great! I'm looking forward for my upcoming trips and I'm just making sure I'm staying grateful and writing out my gratitude affirmations and I'm going to be reading out my ideal women paper every night before I go to bed. And if I can remember tomorrow I'm going to print out some of Andrew's worksheets, fill them out, and read them while on the trip since I will have to discontinue using ASC. I will still be using Women Magnet as I sleep.

[Spiral]

I can't sleep at the moment but today I felt pretty neutral and somewhat social but most of all didn't really care. I was figity too kind of like yesterday. I also had a puzzling dream last night..

It started out I was with my mom and we were following my dad on the highway and I lost him. He took an exit and I wasn't paying attention so my mother and I got out of the car to go see where he might be but I knew in the back of my head he took the previous exit. regardless we found ourselves in a parking garage shortly after (no idea how) and there were a bunch of little kids boys and girls and I was like wtf. We traveled down a few floors and there was a buffet of fried shrimp. I don't remember how I got the shrimp in my hands but I began eating them and they were delicious. they had some secret sauce on them too... like thousand island dressing or something. Then out of nowhere I found my self under a tree in a nice setting. And My truck was under the tree. I noticed I was standing in the midst of a bunch of hants however they were not crawling on me and I looked down at them and there at my feet were about 20 or so delicious red apples in a sack. and I thought to myself I could def. use these and I would love to eat them later. Then I looked to my right across some sort of street and it looked very familiar. I seem to remember the HEB close to where my parents live and I saw a couple of friends waving toward me with big smiles on their faces. Then I woke up.

I have no idea what the part of losing track of my father means and I'm not sure about what the part with my mother means either. The rest of the dream makes sense..

Shrimp: To see or eat shrimp in your dream indicates that you harbour feelings of being inferior and unimportant. You want to detach yourself from others and be solitary for a period of time.

Apples: To see apples growing in a tree in your dream is an indication of great intelligence and wealth. You will achieve goals that you have worked hard to attain. Apples in your dream may also be a suggestion to look after your well being so that you don’t contract an illness or disease. (I think this one description fits quite well. the second part I don't need to worry about because I truly know I am perfectly fine... and I also have a strong inspiration to go for runs after work every day.. maybe for 30 minutes or so so I can get back to my ideal weight. and I also threw away some pills for my sinuses and now I'm going all natural. Gonna change my soap and detergant.)

Ants: To see ants in your dream implies that you are not happy with your current position or situation. You harbour emotions of abandonment and inattention. You may be easily irritated and frustrated by minor matters. The only means of attaining your wants and needs is to work together with others.

Ants also represent persistence, meticulousness and production. It is very likely that you will see a substantial growth in the area of your occupation. Alternately, you may have the desire to break free from constraints and exude more individuality rather than always following the crowd. You are unhappy with limitations that are placed upon you.

According to the biblical interpretations, ants represent attentiveness with matters pertaining to divinity and spirituality. Ants may be tiny in stature, but they are indicative of periods of prosperity.

All three of these Ant descriptions to a certain extent apply to me.

Well that sudafed helped my sinuses so hopefully I can go to sleep now.

[Spiral]

I feel neutral today.. and I have some social nerves it seems today. I was in the kitchen filling up my cup of water and one of the really sexy girls that works up front was in as well about to get some water. she asked which one to use and I told her use the filter one and at first I had a feeling of social anxiety come up but I immediatly let it go. I did not have a problem answering her question. I was aloof because I had no desire to socialize and it seems to be that way with girls right now. I looked at her too when answering her question but she wasnt looking at me so I looked away because I just didn't care for the eye contact. I began walking out and she started making fun of herself lol and I was like yea well you def. know which one you should be drinking out of now and when I said that was the only time I turned back and we locked eyes for maybe a second and then I went about my business. Either way I'm not quite half way through stage 2 so this seems to be normal I guess. Also when I was talking to her I projected my deep voice and it was effortless once I let go of the anxiety. I'm still in the process of making my rhythmic deep breathing subconscious but I'm getting closer.

EDIT: I'm still feeling pretty good about myself... and I'm making it my second priority second to work to being as positive and open minded during this process as much as possible.. and If I have to I am willing to lose sleep over it. Because the last week I've had so much shit going on in my head!

[Cortez]

I feel neutral today.. and I have some social nerves it seems today. I was in the kitchen filling up my cup of water and one of the really sexy girls that works up front was in as well about to get some water. she asked which one to use and I told her use the filter one and at first I had a feeling of social anxiety come up but I immediatly let it go. I did not have a problem answering her question. I was aloof because I had no desire to socialize and it seems to be that way with girls right now. I looked at her too when answering her question but she wasnt looking at me so I looked away because I just didn't care for the eye contact. I began walking out and she started making fun of herself lol and I was like yea well you def. know which one you should be drinking out of now and when I said that was the only time I turned back and we locked eyes for maybe a second and then I went about my business. Either way I'm not quite half way through stage 2 so this seems to be normal I guess. Also when I was talking to her I projected my deep voice and it was effortless once I let go of the anxiety. I'm still in the process of making my rhythmic deep breathing subconscious but I'm getting closer.

EDIT: I'm still feeling pretty good about myself... and I'm making it my second priority second to work to being as positive and open minded during this process as much as possible.. and If I have to I am willing to lose sleep over it. Because the last week I've had so much ***** going on in my head!

You got this! It's great to release this stuff. It can feel at times like your brain is on fire, but that's all part of the process, right?

[Spiral]

I feel real good right now. Just took a shower and had a clean shave and man I feel real fucking good actually.. no negative bullshit is getting in my way right now I will have a nice sleep tonight

And much thanks for the encouragement Cortez. I appreciate it