10-01-2016, 08:50 AM
I have been in the MOST difficult phase of my life since the last 6 years. I am a medical student and I have not been able to study effectively for US medical exam. Looking back I have been just been sitting in 1 place and going on with life, "trying" to study while I wasted 3 years. This exam requires 4-6 months of dedicated study time.
I have finished medical school and now I have to finish these US medical exam before I can apply for specialty training and licesne. But.....
I start and stop studying, start and stop, my mind is full of self doubts whether I will be able to do this exam or not. I want to score in the high 90s. So I procrastinate telling myself I dont feel fully fresh/ready today so I Will do it from tomorrow. I exert pressure on myself somedays with hard core studying for 3-4 days. I stay up nights and I give it all I got and then I crash and dont study for 7 days. And then I feel down and depresed and waste time. Get soo much stressed out that I distract myself by going out watching movie, hanging with friends, youtube, etc. And then again start stuyding again. Make a new plan.
So now I make plans after plans. Schedule after schedule and I noticed that I waste my life away.
I have contemplated and thought about this. Am I dumb? IS it because I dont understand medicine. In reality, I pick things up pretty fast. I understand material and grab concepts much faster than others. Yet others go ahead and I am still stuck here. I am 30 and if I had done everything as scheduled I would have finished residency and gotten my license. But reality is that I have not even finished Board Exams to enter medical residency.
I had lied to my family about my exams. Last month I told them the truth that I am still studying for exams thats why I have not made it to residency yet. They were upset, mad, outraged. They say I am lazy and that I lack sense of responsibility. I have a roof over my head and food on my plate. I dont have a job yet I use my familys credit card when i need to (I dont waste money ever). But still i have the card at my disposal. All this makes me more conscious.
I feel that this is because of a lack a proper mindset. I Find it difficult to stay consistent. If you check my previous post, I had started ASC and then stopped it. Dont know if I didnt see any difference or not. I saw a lot of people talking about EPRHA and how it should be started first.
I feel like if I start EPRHA it will bring back a lotta emotional stuff that would stop me for few days. I want the strength to face up to myself.
I WANT TO TAKE THIS EXAM in 2-3 months and score in the 90s. I KNOW I CAN. I WILL! And For that I need the BAD ASS confidence. I am sick and tired if being sick and tired. I am taking control of my life.
Today is Oct 1st, Today is the Day when I will start and not stop. I Will start academically, mentally, physically. From brushing my teeth to studying to good diet to exercise to ASC Subs. I will start and I will not stop until I am there.
HAving said that,
So I am starting ASC continuously for atleast 20 hours if not 24.
I plan to put the Silent ASC track on my computer and leave it on for 30 days. I may not be able to hear it when I watching some video with my headphones or in the bathroom. But that audio will stay on. I am always concerned about the volume. My room is quiet mostly but I plan to put it at 40. I can never get the volume right I feel like I should here the soft effect that come after the wave crash so I crank it up and put the SILENT Track.
I Stop sometimes thinking I hope I am not overstimulating the brain. But now, even I wont stop even it fries my brain.
I will update you guys periodically. Feel free to leave comments and lemme know what you think.
Cheers
I have finished medical school and now I have to finish these US medical exam before I can apply for specialty training and licesne. But.....
I start and stop studying, start and stop, my mind is full of self doubts whether I will be able to do this exam or not. I want to score in the high 90s. So I procrastinate telling myself I dont feel fully fresh/ready today so I Will do it from tomorrow. I exert pressure on myself somedays with hard core studying for 3-4 days. I stay up nights and I give it all I got and then I crash and dont study for 7 days. And then I feel down and depresed and waste time. Get soo much stressed out that I distract myself by going out watching movie, hanging with friends, youtube, etc. And then again start stuyding again. Make a new plan.
So now I make plans after plans. Schedule after schedule and I noticed that I waste my life away.
I have contemplated and thought about this. Am I dumb? IS it because I dont understand medicine. In reality, I pick things up pretty fast. I understand material and grab concepts much faster than others. Yet others go ahead and I am still stuck here. I am 30 and if I had done everything as scheduled I would have finished residency and gotten my license. But reality is that I have not even finished Board Exams to enter medical residency.
I had lied to my family about my exams. Last month I told them the truth that I am still studying for exams thats why I have not made it to residency yet. They were upset, mad, outraged. They say I am lazy and that I lack sense of responsibility. I have a roof over my head and food on my plate. I dont have a job yet I use my familys credit card when i need to (I dont waste money ever). But still i have the card at my disposal. All this makes me more conscious.
I feel that this is because of a lack a proper mindset. I Find it difficult to stay consistent. If you check my previous post, I had started ASC and then stopped it. Dont know if I didnt see any difference or not. I saw a lot of people talking about EPRHA and how it should be started first.
I feel like if I start EPRHA it will bring back a lotta emotional stuff that would stop me for few days. I want the strength to face up to myself.
I WANT TO TAKE THIS EXAM in 2-3 months and score in the 90s. I KNOW I CAN. I WILL! And For that I need the BAD ASS confidence. I am sick and tired if being sick and tired. I am taking control of my life.
Today is Oct 1st, Today is the Day when I will start and not stop. I Will start academically, mentally, physically. From brushing my teeth to studying to good diet to exercise to ASC Subs. I will start and I will not stop until I am there.
HAving said that,
So I am starting ASC continuously for atleast 20 hours if not 24.
I plan to put the Silent ASC track on my computer and leave it on for 30 days. I may not be able to hear it when I watching some video with my headphones or in the bathroom. But that audio will stay on. I am always concerned about the volume. My room is quiet mostly but I plan to put it at 40. I can never get the volume right I feel like I should here the soft effect that come after the wave crash so I crank it up and put the SILENT Track.
I Stop sometimes thinking I hope I am not overstimulating the brain. But now, even I wont stop even it fries my brain.
I will update you guys periodically. Feel free to leave comments and lemme know what you think.
Cheers