I'm in the road to turn my vision into reality, but the negative influence is coming. I did not allow it to influence or stop me from getting what I want. And God, they just keep coming, I defend myself again. I practice to be assertive and be disciplined. Just before this, I practice to be committed to myself and my goal. I will go through no matter what to achieve goal. I will do whatever it takes. I remind myself to not to be a people pleaser and a nice guy and a doormat because that is one of the worst feeling when I do it. I will be kind to myself.
I successfully managed to be committed, and I told myself to keep committed to myself and my goal. I have to feel proud. Of course, as usual the negative though, which is, perhaps my toxic shame start coming and the voice telling me I'm bad, but I keep saying good things to myself. I feel this fear start to travel in my legs and other part of my body. What I feel is like life threatening, its like there is big threat in life. Its like in a country where there is a war.
Currently I'm on the road to freedom in life. The scariest part about getting out from this hole is when I feel fear like there is a life threat. This happen when there is external negative influence coming, just like this. The reality is not that bad, but definitely its quiet bad and happen at the wrong time.
That's it, the feeling I want to express. I remind myself to trust myself, be committed, go through the pain no matter what, when I decide not to surrender I will grow stronger and eventually I achieve my goal.
Thanks for reading.
edit: forgot to add, when eating dinner I feel proud of myself, I feel loved, and have the capacity and strength to love something/someone and go for what I want.
I successfully managed to be committed, and I told myself to keep committed to myself and my goal. I have to feel proud. Of course, as usual the negative though, which is, perhaps my toxic shame start coming and the voice telling me I'm bad, but I keep saying good things to myself. I feel this fear start to travel in my legs and other part of my body. What I feel is like life threatening, its like there is big threat in life. Its like in a country where there is a war.
Currently I'm on the road to freedom in life. The scariest part about getting out from this hole is when I feel fear like there is a life threat. This happen when there is external negative influence coming, just like this. The reality is not that bad, but definitely its quiet bad and happen at the wrong time.
That's it, the feeling I want to express. I remind myself to trust myself, be committed, go through the pain no matter what, when I decide not to surrender I will grow stronger and eventually I achieve my goal.
Thanks for reading.
edit: forgot to add, when eating dinner I feel proud of myself, I feel loved, and have the capacity and strength to love something/someone and go for what I want.
confucious