AM6 conflicts (Shannon?)

[robstar]

Hey guys.

So I have been having some internal conflicts about subs, AM in particular. Whether they are helping or hindering my spiritual growth. I am currently on stage 1 of AM6 for the second time and I'm wondering if it and subs in general are for me. I had some ok results on my first run, mostly to do with dropping neediness in social situations, but a lot of resistance.
To give you a bit of information about me, I have come to realise my primary goal in life is internal happiness and freedom, regardless of external circumstances. I have found in life that the easier I am on myself the better things seem to go. And thats where my conflict with AM6 lies. I have seen mentioned on the forum that it has programming that will make you hard on yourself in order to change. On the sales page it has words like 'refuse' and 'kill excuses' and if it has that kind of tough love programming I think it may be the reason I had so much resistance and dragging my feet in the first run. I don't really subscribe to the 'no pain no gain' mindset.
My mission in life is personal freedom, happiness and love, and removing anything in my life that limits these. I'm more about removing ego and identity than constructing a solid identity. I would rather learn to love unconditionally than 'set strong boundaries', because to me, unconditional love is the highest form of happiness.
So what do you think? Ultimately I have to decide my path for myself, but should I continue with these subs, or would I move faster towards my goals with meditation, releasing and self inquiry?

Before I say anything else, let me state that I have not read the thread aside from this post, because I am trying to get work done with subs today.

That said, this post screams to me that you are trying to rationalize hiding from growth, change and improvement by making it okay to do so, and trying to resist it because it's uncomfortable. I've been in those shoes myself, and I have seen and helped a lot of others in those shoes, and lemme tell ya, I have to call you out. You are making excuses to avoid growth, change and self improvement. Plain and simple.

That of course is not alpha behavior. In fact trying to find rationality for avoiding this is very much beta behavior. It's trying to surrender to your fears and rationalizing the choice of actions so you don't have to face them. Better the devil you know than the chance that maybe change will bring improvement?

On the sales page it has words like 'refuse' and 'kill excuses' and if it has that kind of tough love programming I think it may be the reason I had so much resistance and dragging my feet in the first run.

If you are resisting suggestions like these, you want to do what it's telling you not to do. You want to make excuses instead of move forward and grow.

I have seen mentioned on the forum that it has programming that will make you hard on yourself in order to change.

It doesn't have programming to make you hard on yourself, but it does have no-bullsh*t programming that pushes you to face the facts, deal with them and improve yourself - in spite of fear. It's not an easy thing to do.

My mission in life is personal freedom, happiness and love, and removing anything in my life that limits these.

Great! AM6 is all about getting you to outgrow limits like fear, which creates self imposed imprisonment, unhappiness - and did you know that fear is the reverse of love?

I'm more about removing ego and identity than constructing a solid identity.

I think what you're trying to communicate is that you want to destroy false ego and the false identity and replace it with a higher self identity. That would be quite a lot of what AM is aimed at doing, actually. So why are you resisting?

I would rather learn to love unconditionally than 'set strong boundaries', because to me, unconditional love is the highest form of happiness.

Translation: I would rather wear rose colored glasses and see things as I want them to be, rather than face what scares me and change those things for real, because it's easier and less scary to just change how I see things. I have read that unconditional love is the highest form of happiness, so I'm going to let the world walk all over me and say that I'm being "unconditionally loving" as my excuse.

Got news for you. I tried that when I was younger. It doesn't work like that. And if you think it does, you clearly don't understand what unconditional love is, or looks like.

One of the wisest teachers I ever had revealed to me something of a conundrum, which took me a long time to understand and even longer to put into practice. I am still learning to put it into practice. He said, "True and unconditional love seems to be wholly indifferent."

Unconditional love does not mean you allow yourself to be mistreated, which is what happens when you do not set boundaries. There is always someone of less awareness who will willingly or unknowingly do so if you do not LOVE yourself enough to set boundaries. Unconditional love, too, does not require anything to be true for it to be; therefore, in a state of genuinely unconditional love, one loves oneself equally to what is not oneself, and does not differentiate in deservingness for love between form or function. In the beginning, it seems preposterous to say that unconditional love expresses the same love to a person that it does to an animal, and the very same love to a tree, a hammer and a stone. But as you gain in true wisdom, you come to understand that to love unconditionally, all things are equally receiving of unconditional love because there is no condition that stops them from being loved. And beyond that, you start to understand WHY a hammer is as much deserving of love as a baby, from the point of view of genuinely unconditional love. It's not something you'll understand by seeing things as they appear to be; you must understand things as they really are to fathom that one.

Truly unconditional love is by definition without limit or condition. That has nothing to do with giving up your self identity, hiding from confrontation or your responsibility and duty to grow and become more and better than you are now. In fact it is in doing that very growing and improving that you become closer to achieving the state of understanding, and eventually being and expressing, unconditional love.

You must know yourself, and you must know and recognize when you are trying to make excuses to be lazy or hide from fear. That is what you are doing.

Finish what you started.

Hey Shannon, thanks for your reply. I guess my worry was that AM would make me too external-focused, but your post and some others in this thread have made me see that that is not the case. I can see you're right about where a lot of my post was coming from.
I will however be continuing to do my own self-inquiry and releasing/letting go with conscious effort. Thats something I'm committed to for life, so despite the constant debate on this forum about it, I won't be putting it on hold.