AM6 Run-3

[tolgaocal80]

stage 1 day 27

I listened 4 loops of US today and after aobut 5 minutes , my head warmed slightly, for 1-2 hours I felt some kind of focus.
and I see it is very practical this way, but Idk really if this will made some headaches but will use 1-2 loops everday for extra listening time.


So far, last day or another, while doing meditation, I go for my memories to find out what is causing me stop from doing things what I want to do ,except procastination and laziness, and I came up with a really important
idea:
In a memory I lived, I realized that I had improsined myself in that moment. This moment required me to protect myself constantly, so I could never leave this memory.
The child in me refused to deal with me because every new move he made would take him away from that memory and make him vulnerable to danger of pyhsical beating.

Of course, I cannot change my memory "physically", but I realized that I could help that child with a somewhat intense emotional mind. Since the past is only in my mind, I can relive that moment with my thoughts and protect that child with my present body and strength.
In this way, I recreated the moment, and this time I was with him at that time. it might sound silly, but I can say that I really calmed down after feeling that moment again.
It was a weird thought and emotional experience, it was the first time I did it.

Generally I was feeling this kind of emotions when on stage 2 or upper.

a few days from stage 2.