07-15-2016, 01:40 AM
[Stage 1 - day 19]
Feel really good when listening to sub. A warm, easy feeling comes up in my stomach. It's like someone massaging with warm hands for my stomach. At ease. I had this feeling sometimes in previous AM runs but it did not last long like this time.
Created a portfolio of my works days ago and finding a job now. I still live in my parent's house, I will rent a room for me when I get a job first, for sure. My family, they are good people, we can live near, but not together. There are many conflicts. There are also many times that children come to my place, it's not good for this AM run.
Stage 1 is covering many things which pointed out in previous runs. I gradually recognize where is my sexual shame comes from. When we watch TV and see the hot scene, my parents hurriedly switch to next channel. People avoid sex-related conversations, I have never heard my parents talked about sex subject... my mind automatically connect sex is a taboo and bad thing. During AM, I have a friend, I see him and his family freely talk, make fun about the subject, fuck a girl is just normal like eating or drinking water, it's a basic instinct. Thanks him, I get out much of the shame. Now the more I use sub, the more I see sex as a beautiful thing.
Feel really good when listening to sub. A warm, easy feeling comes up in my stomach. It's like someone massaging with warm hands for my stomach. At ease. I had this feeling sometimes in previous AM runs but it did not last long like this time.
Created a portfolio of my works days ago and finding a job now. I still live in my parent's house, I will rent a room for me when I get a job first, for sure. My family, they are good people, we can live near, but not together. There are many conflicts. There are also many times that children come to my place, it's not good for this AM run.
Stage 1 is covering many things which pointed out in previous runs. I gradually recognize where is my sexual shame comes from. When we watch TV and see the hot scene, my parents hurriedly switch to next channel. People avoid sex-related conversations, I have never heard my parents talked about sex subject... my mind automatically connect sex is a taboo and bad thing. During AM, I have a friend, I see him and his family freely talk, make fun about the subject, fuck a girl is just normal like eating or drinking water, it's a basic instinct. Thanks him, I get out much of the shame. Now the more I use sub, the more I see sex as a beautiful thing.
