05-29-2015, 04:12 AM
Wow, so today was HARD. I had a really strange dream, I don't remember it now but I think it screwed with me. I seem to vaguely recall fighting something like mosters, or people, or something and leading a group of us. I woke up very unhappy/miserable/angry. And I stayed that way for most of the day. The girl I've been messaging was slow to respond so my mood made that seem worse. I was clearing archived emails at work and saw a conversation with a girl I used to work with. That set me off. I recall one moment when I had a glass in my hand and I really wanted to crush it haha.
I even had the very temporary thought of stopping the subs, which I didn't. By the end of the day I was a bit better.
Is this the resistance that everyone talks about? The reason I ask is I did a lot of different sexual energy practices last night including a breath that draws the energy up to each chakra. This stuff can release blocks/emotional issues etc. So not sure if it's because of those practices dissolving or bringing emotional garbage to the surface? Or the subs?
On a positive note I found out I should be getting extended at work. I'm permanent but currently acting in a higher role which has a 2% pay progression every six months for a total of 3 years plus the corporate 2% per year, versus only the corporate 2% on my main role.
And I purchased a simple set of speakers for my room for the subs. They just fit nicely on the bedhead behind me so I have one on either side.
I called the girl again. The first time, a few days ago, I was still quite nervous as I hate phone calls but this time I offered to call her. And I was much more okay with it.
I even had the very temporary thought of stopping the subs, which I didn't. By the end of the day I was a bit better.
Is this the resistance that everyone talks about? The reason I ask is I did a lot of different sexual energy practices last night including a breath that draws the energy up to each chakra. This stuff can release blocks/emotional issues etc. So not sure if it's because of those practices dissolving or bringing emotional garbage to the surface? Or the subs?
On a positive note I found out I should be getting extended at work. I'm permanent but currently acting in a higher role which has a 2% pay progression every six months for a total of 3 years plus the corporate 2% per year, versus only the corporate 2% on my main role.
And I purchased a simple set of speakers for my room for the subs. They just fit nicely on the bedhead behind me so I have one on either side.
I called the girl again. The first time, a few days ago, I was still quite nervous as I hate phone calls but this time I offered to call her. And I was much more okay with it.
