06-07-2015, 08:43 PM
stage 5 day 26
okay so i went to the beach with a 3 guys and 3 girls. still, with the women, my insecurities rise up and I freeze when it comes to talking to women. Now with my guy friends I'm able to completely open up with, but with the women it's still hard. I am sure i've ruined plenty of opportunities because of my inconsistency to initiate and/or inability (inexperience?) to escalate. I don't know whether another run of AM6 would be in order or if I need to do EPRHA (paid version) before I do SM3, but I'm still going to wait until at least 21 days into stage 6 before I make my decision.
I know it's got to be something within myself that's holding me back, something akin to a traumatic event or situation because it shouldn't be so paralyzing.
on a brighter note, I was asked to tell my life story at an adolescent rehab yesterday so I did. I was told that it wasn't as much for the kids as it was for me and I understood why afterwards. I got a sense of serenity from letting a HUGE LOAD off my chest, but I had to spare some details because they were adolescents, after all. clearly i'm looked up to as someone worthy to tell their story to adolescents. that's part AM6, part my sincere desire to work on myself as an individual.
okay so i went to the beach with a 3 guys and 3 girls. still, with the women, my insecurities rise up and I freeze when it comes to talking to women. Now with my guy friends I'm able to completely open up with, but with the women it's still hard. I am sure i've ruined plenty of opportunities because of my inconsistency to initiate and/or inability (inexperience?) to escalate. I don't know whether another run of AM6 would be in order or if I need to do EPRHA (paid version) before I do SM3, but I'm still going to wait until at least 21 days into stage 6 before I make my decision.
I know it's got to be something within myself that's holding me back, something akin to a traumatic event or situation because it shouldn't be so paralyzing.
on a brighter note, I was asked to tell my life story at an adolescent rehab yesterday so I did. I was told that it wasn't as much for the kids as it was for me and I understood why afterwards. I got a sense of serenity from letting a HUGE LOAD off my chest, but I had to spare some details because they were adolescents, after all. clearly i'm looked up to as someone worthy to tell their story to adolescents. that's part AM6, part my sincere desire to work on myself as an individual.
