stage 5 day 5
wow, women are really starting to become abundant in my life... i would say this is crazy, but it doesn't feel that way! the naturalizer must be hard at work. I also got a butt display from this WEALTHY older woman, and exchanged some silent 'humorous moments' with her during the 8pm meeting. I remember reading about the butt displays in someone else's journal (ben? sarge?)
Earlier this year, I was attracting the young whipper snappers (18/19/20). I'm under the impression that I attract who I am, so does that mean my emotional growth was that of an immature young adult? I won't try to read too much into it, to avoid getting in my own way and beta'ing it up.
Now I've been attracting the slightly older girls..
talked more to that black girl who got sick; I took what ffaux said as sage advice.... although I had already made the comment but tried to salvage it lol....
tinder's fun too. 2 more black girls lol. i don't understand why, but it's the black girls that seem to respond the most to me LOL. I used to resent that fact, but realized it was a VERY unhealthy mindset to have, being critical of the wrong things.... and I even talked about it with my buddy, and told him that I am now starting to appreciate black women.
one of them is 23 and the other 26. starting to enjoy conversations with women without the expectation for sex as the result of it, which is huge for me! Women are interesting creatures indeed, I love this whole game of trying to find the method each woman click's. I'm still insanely amateur at it though, but I'm enjoying the learning process.
I'm also starting to care a lot more about/for my peers. Before I started this program, I had such a hard time being intimate with anyone, to avoid letting anybody too close and seeing who I really am. But by extending out my arm first, I allow myself to be loved and consider myself deserving of love. I'm extremely grateful for the people I have in my life.
edit:
I'm at 20-21 hours per day still. switched back to the old routine of having speakers on either side of the bed last night, to gain maximum benefit without headphones. it's been ultrasonic the past month and a half, wondering if I should pull a week with trickling to switch it up for my brain..
wow, women are really starting to become abundant in my life... i would say this is crazy, but it doesn't feel that way! the naturalizer must be hard at work. I also got a butt display from this WEALTHY older woman, and exchanged some silent 'humorous moments' with her during the 8pm meeting. I remember reading about the butt displays in someone else's journal (ben? sarge?)
Earlier this year, I was attracting the young whipper snappers (18/19/20). I'm under the impression that I attract who I am, so does that mean my emotional growth was that of an immature young adult? I won't try to read too much into it, to avoid getting in my own way and beta'ing it up.
Now I've been attracting the slightly older girls..
talked more to that black girl who got sick; I took what ffaux said as sage advice.... although I had already made the comment but tried to salvage it lol....
tinder's fun too. 2 more black girls lol. i don't understand why, but it's the black girls that seem to respond the most to me LOL. I used to resent that fact, but realized it was a VERY unhealthy mindset to have, being critical of the wrong things.... and I even talked about it with my buddy, and told him that I am now starting to appreciate black women.
one of them is 23 and the other 26. starting to enjoy conversations with women without the expectation for sex as the result of it, which is huge for me! Women are interesting creatures indeed, I love this whole game of trying to find the method each woman click's. I'm still insanely amateur at it though, but I'm enjoying the learning process.
I'm also starting to care a lot more about/for my peers. Before I started this program, I had such a hard time being intimate with anyone, to avoid letting anybody too close and seeing who I really am. But by extending out my arm first, I allow myself to be loved and consider myself deserving of love. I'm extremely grateful for the people I have in my life.
edit:
I'm at 20-21 hours per day still. switched back to the old routine of having speakers on either side of the bed last night, to gain maximum benefit without headphones. it's been ultrasonic the past month and a half, wondering if I should pull a week with trickling to switch it up for my brain..
