Stage 5 Day 2
Listened to hte New Stage while sleeping and woke up EXTREMELY groggy, and on the wrong side of the bed. I came across my room mate horribly. I went up to him and I was like "bro, if you wake us up 10 times less during the night, we might actually get a full nights sleep". Yeah I needed to say it. Yeah I was pissed. But I went about it all wrong. It was more of an attack than a solution oriented statement.
I was looking at my hand written notes from yesterday, and noticed that my handwriting looks a LOT better than it used to look! It's actually clear, and far more legible.
I wonder if there's more truth to the "what your handwriting says about you" concept than I gave credit for. lol.
Alright I give this sub 4 days to get me sick. If I get sick, that'll be 5 out of 6 stages where I get sick at the beginning of the stage of AM. lol
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Last night I had a dream that me and A (same girl from my dreams, same girl from real life) were snorting meth and getting sexy.
This is so weird, I'm still having dreams of drugs even 6 months after my last use.
----
Well, I finished reading Double Your Dating last week, and learned lots of good stuff from it. Like insisting on being friends verbally, but actions showing attraction. I decided to text message two tinder matches who I got numbers from back in January. Both of them responded "sorry, who's this?" I told them who I am and they seemed excited to talk to me lol. I said "we should meet up for coffee soon, you know.. as friends"
I also got on POF and started messaging girls like it was no big deal, using what I learned from double your dating and how to be an alpha male to my advantage. Big time kudos to Shannon for suggesting those books, btw. If you haven't read them as part of your alpha male training.... READ THEM!
Started talking to two black girls last night, one specifically of which I must have seemed different from every other guy she talked to, based on how she responded. It was much different than what I'm used to getting on POF.
I set up a date with one of the tinder girls (19 y/o brazillian, yum!) at an unidentified date and time. I just need to get a commitment for date and time.
The other one, who's 20/21 half arabic/half indian (YUM!)... I might have intimidated her lol. i'll try again in a day or two.
I don't know if I posted this on my journal or not, but the Thursday before easter friday, I get a message from my ex. the one who I was engaged to, moved in with, and relationship fizzled out VERY fast and ended very unhealthy back in 2010. This is exactly how it went:
Her: [E_C]?
Me: Hi [girl] how are you?
Her: i'm not well actually
Me: Sup?
Her: I was just wondering if we could meet sometime
Her: It's been a while since we agreed to meet
Me: Definitely, let's do it
Me: I'm pretty much available on the weekend except after 7p; what about you?
Me: (6 hours later) I just found out I'm off tomorrow.
Silence.... after that, I never bothered to respond. It felt like she was trying to guilt trip me into seeing her. I didn't play it.
I'm not going to lie, for the better part of the last 5 years, I thought about her A LOT. in fact, I haven't slept with anyone SINCE. No puss* for 5 years + getting ass raped twice really tore me up emotionally (I've never let anybody know about that, btw, so this forum is the first to hear it). I held onto the memory of her for a long time, and in fact I could legitimately say I would have dropped everything to just get a conversation with her. But like catman would say that would just beta it up.
Now, I wouldn't mind a conversation with her but it's the furthest from healthy thing possible. There's a lot of emotional charge that hasn't been dealt with properly, and I don't think I'm in the right place to deal with it. I highly doubt she is either, based on that guilt trip it seemed like she was trying to pull.
I'm definitely noticing tremendous healing, being 4 months into AM6. Let go of past relationships
Listened to hte New Stage while sleeping and woke up EXTREMELY groggy, and on the wrong side of the bed. I came across my room mate horribly. I went up to him and I was like "bro, if you wake us up 10 times less during the night, we might actually get a full nights sleep". Yeah I needed to say it. Yeah I was pissed. But I went about it all wrong. It was more of an attack than a solution oriented statement.
I was looking at my hand written notes from yesterday, and noticed that my handwriting looks a LOT better than it used to look! It's actually clear, and far more legible.
I wonder if there's more truth to the "what your handwriting says about you" concept than I gave credit for. lol.
Alright I give this sub 4 days to get me sick. If I get sick, that'll be 5 out of 6 stages where I get sick at the beginning of the stage of AM. lol
----
Last night I had a dream that me and A (same girl from my dreams, same girl from real life) were snorting meth and getting sexy.
This is so weird, I'm still having dreams of drugs even 6 months after my last use.
----
Well, I finished reading Double Your Dating last week, and learned lots of good stuff from it. Like insisting on being friends verbally, but actions showing attraction. I decided to text message two tinder matches who I got numbers from back in January. Both of them responded "sorry, who's this?" I told them who I am and they seemed excited to talk to me lol. I said "we should meet up for coffee soon, you know.. as friends"
I also got on POF and started messaging girls like it was no big deal, using what I learned from double your dating and how to be an alpha male to my advantage. Big time kudos to Shannon for suggesting those books, btw. If you haven't read them as part of your alpha male training.... READ THEM!
Started talking to two black girls last night, one specifically of which I must have seemed different from every other guy she talked to, based on how she responded. It was much different than what I'm used to getting on POF.
I set up a date with one of the tinder girls (19 y/o brazillian, yum!) at an unidentified date and time. I just need to get a commitment for date and time.
The other one, who's 20/21 half arabic/half indian (YUM!)... I might have intimidated her lol. i'll try again in a day or two.
I don't know if I posted this on my journal or not, but the Thursday before easter friday, I get a message from my ex. the one who I was engaged to, moved in with, and relationship fizzled out VERY fast and ended very unhealthy back in 2010. This is exactly how it went:
Her: [E_C]?
Me: Hi [girl] how are you?
Her: i'm not well actually
Me: Sup?
Her: I was just wondering if we could meet sometime
Her: It's been a while since we agreed to meet
Me: Definitely, let's do it
Me: I'm pretty much available on the weekend except after 7p; what about you?
Me: (6 hours later) I just found out I'm off tomorrow.
Silence.... after that, I never bothered to respond. It felt like she was trying to guilt trip me into seeing her. I didn't play it.
I'm not going to lie, for the better part of the last 5 years, I thought about her A LOT. in fact, I haven't slept with anyone SINCE. No puss* for 5 years + getting ass raped twice really tore me up emotionally (I've never let anybody know about that, btw, so this forum is the first to hear it). I held onto the memory of her for a long time, and in fact I could legitimately say I would have dropped everything to just get a conversation with her. But like catman would say that would just beta it up.
Now, I wouldn't mind a conversation with her but it's the furthest from healthy thing possible. There's a lot of emotional charge that hasn't been dealt with properly, and I don't think I'm in the right place to deal with it. I highly doubt she is either, based on that guilt trip it seemed like she was trying to pull.
I'm definitely noticing tremendous healing, being 4 months into AM6. Let go of past relationships
