AM experiences

[chrisli]

I noticed monkey and a pink cat in the dreams. I was stopping the monkey from coming in the house and the pink cat was just running her and there.

What's there not to get?? Pretty standard dream I'd say

[chrisli]

Oh right, it's your journal. Well within you rights to ?????

[Lkawakita]

What's there not to get?? Pretty standard dream I'd say

As you said, pretty standard dream. Since he didn't mention anything other than the dream, I failed to see the relation to AM.

But if it is indeed related to AM, I can see what's going on.

[chrisli]

yeah i had just assumed that that was part of your journal, then i realized it wasn't you :S

Its good to see your noticing alot of changes, I've just started stage 2 and i can't say I've noticed too much yet. Its other peoples journals that keep my faith alive

All the best on your journey, i will keep watch to see what i can expect

[Shannon]

Just be patient, and when you get far enough and look back, you'll see what's changed. It helps if you journal.

[Lkawakita]

One thing been troubling me.
I keep having this recurrent dream, where I am in a building and going up to flee from some danger.
And in every one of them, there's a woman that ends up making out with me and also a friend of mine.
Like, getting the elevator to flee from armed robbers at a lower floor. And inside the elevator I meet my friend and a woman that makes out with me and my friend just stands there.

On other, the same thing, I go up through the stairs, with a different woman and a different friend.

[Lkawakita]

Seems AM is putting me more in control of my emotions, instead of letting my emotions control me.

Today, I was doing something I was against. But someone had to do anyway.
While I was doing it, I injured myself. Nothing big. Just a deep cut on my thumb.
If it were some time ago, I would burst in rage and yell to the person that made me do that, but today, I felt that urge coming and I could stop it on the tracks before coming out.
I was about to explode, but I thought myself that the person who made me do that had no guilt in what hapenned there and nothing would be gained by yelling, so I calmed down and finished what I had to do quickly to clean the blood that was dripping from the cut, even while it was hurting a lot.

[Shannon]

Nice work.

[Lkawakita]

Ooook.
Almost ending stage 4.
I didn't post earlier, partly because I was busy.
The other part is that I was kinda frustrated with s3.
Since it is the first "big guns" stage, I was expecting that it would have major changes. but it went smoothly. Like a breeze.
Not sure if it is because I already had some traits of an alpha and I didn't know, or if the naturalizer can make you somehow blind to the changes.
Stage 4 is going the same way. But i feel a little different. Like, when my brother comes to argue with me about something triffling, even if I had nothing to gain in this discussion I had to make my point. Now, I don't seem to care. If nothing is gained, then there's no need to waste time with it.
It was some kind of behaviour I had before, depending on my mood. Maybe Am is improving my mood without me noticing?

Also, I didn't notice any change on being more charismatic or socializing. It seems to be making me even more reserved, like the "strong and silent" type.

[Shannon]

The naturalizer doesn't make you unable to see changes. It makes them so natural and comfortable that most people generally don't have enough difference from day to day to notice them until you consider a longer term point of view.

Is this your first run of AM?

[Lkawakita]

Yep. First time user.

I'm considering running it again next year, to see if I get better results and make it stickier. Hopefully I will manage to get AM6 by then.

[Lkawakita]

Shannon, I remember asking something similar, but can't remember the answer nor where I asked.

Does the user's role model of an alpha interferes in the results? Like, if someone identifies to someone or a character the traits of an alpha. Would then AM give the push to actually be that role model? Or AM was designed with a fixed shape and it molds us to fit into it?

If the model does matter, it would be interesting to know which model everyone who had success with it had by then. Me, for instance, think that an alpha is somewhat like a tiger. It hunts alone, is subtle and yet extremely powerful. This could explain the results I'm getting.

[Shannon]

Shannon, I remember asking something similar, but can't remember the answer nor where I asked.

Does the user's role model of an alpha interferes in the results? Like, if someone identifies to someone or a character the traits of an alpha. Would then AM give the push to actually be that role model? Or AM was designed with a fixed shape and it molds us to fit into it?

If the model does matter, it would be interesting to know which model everyone who had success with it had by then. Me, for instance, think that an alpha is somewhat like a tiger. It hunts alone, is subtle and yet extremely powerful. This could explain the results I'm getting.

I don't define alpha for you. What I do is create a combination of developing the person's own idea of what an alpha is, and developing all the characteristics that I know support such a man. Self confidence, self reliance, etc. It doesn't interfere, but a user's idea of what an alpha is, does help shape their results.

[Lkawakita]

Started stage 6 yesterday.

What you guys said about the changes being more relevant when considering greater spans of time makes sense now.
Been noticing that when something that would cause me anger arises, I feel and know that I am the one who chooses how to respond to it. I can let it flow and release the emotion or suppress the emotion and use it's energy to find a better solution to the situation. Been choosing the latter more often. The contrast is really noticeable when compared to a few years ago, but not much from the time I began the program. Also, when angry, which is harder to happen now, I feel I don't need to yell. I don't raise my voice anymore, but express the anger in the tone of it. This is one of the changes that I like the most so far. People still notice I'm angry, but it's a controlled anger. Like a warning that tells them that they are crossing the line, and if they go any further, they will suffer the consequences.
It gives a great feeling of power. A feeling of power over myself and authority over others.

All would be good if AM wouldn't be reinforcing some traits I want to change. It's making me more introverted. Or maybe it's that I have less interest in people who have nothing to provide me. And since I'm having a hard time to find people who actually interest me, I am becoming more reserved and cold to others. Started to use OAAFM, since I saw it cointained OFGS's script, thinking it was some kind of resistance or low self-esteem holding me from getting to know these people (you know, like that behaviour where since you can't have it, you try to believe that you don't need it, often degradating it). But analyzing the meetings with these people, I discovered that the case is that I don't want those people following around and begging me for attention. They will only get in my way.

This leads to a question about what can I use to replace OAAFM. I'm thinking on something that makes me see the best of the persons and make it surface. Some call this ability leadership, other charisma. What are your recommendations on which program to use to develop these traits? And since AM may be the cause of these undesired traits being reinforced, should I finish AM first and then work on replacing these traits?

Thanks