11-02-2014, 07:44 AM
Stage 3 Day 20
Prior to this day i almost got fired too for sexual harassment, i think it was like day 13 or 14 i downloaded a pamphlet on that ; anywayz one of the girls i flirted with got mad at me because i called her out on leading me on even though she has a boyfriend and i just wanted her to be speak the truth to me , i think her ego just couldn't let that go regardless im ok for now and will be leaving this job eventually. Because i was thinking if i don't take action now i will be stuck in this place for a long time and that's not what i want , which brings me to one of my future subs find my PERFECT JOB , and i shall stack that with Base see where that takes me its far away yet but an idea i can reflect on when the time comes.
Im counting down to stage 4 , 12 days. Anyways I feel great , extremely genuine like a brand new person. I was reading another post from someone that had depression and that was what I was experiencing subconscious resistance but I bypassed it all is good for now.
I had this feeling of going out to the bars I haven't been out in a while any who I was experiencing this intense sadness because I was feeling like everyone around me was stabbing me in the back. I called people out and learn to just accept things and I forgave them.
Do I plan on hanging out with them all the time , maybe , maybe not but what I do know it was just me accepting human nature and people. Can i forgive everyone what am i a priest? Still working on that.
As far as anger goes im in better control at least that's what im thinking as im writing this.
On a side note I messaged an ex FWB , I told her that I miss her which I do. In stage 1 I felt she was manipulating me so I needed to let her go, also I was expecting more from her but I killed those expectations I guess I was too attached which is ironic for me. But I let go of that. Considering she doesn't owe me nothing plus when you love someone you just accept that you have to let em go , sooner or later because the wanting to posses is just a way to control and fear of letting go.
So what I realized is that I don't want to be in any committed relationships right now .i think i mentioned that before , I don't want any one feeling like they need to posses me , because i don't want to do that to anyone and i think a lot of people do that ; Btw. In general I feel great , more GENUINE and CONGRUENT. Im working out 3 - 5 days a week which is awesome too. My diet still sucks need to work on that for the long haul.
Long term goals
Achieve a high level of spirituality and understanding of life.
Master a style of martial arts , although I want to be a better person and individual along the path there will be disagreements and because I realize most people are not masters of their emotions I need to take precautions , so understanding and practicing martial arts is on my to do list .
I also choose to do SM3 next and that is all for now Congruency + Genuine = Manly im sure theres more to that equation buts that it for now.
On a side note does AM6 have the script develop an aura of sexiness?
Prior to this day i almost got fired too for sexual harassment, i think it was like day 13 or 14 i downloaded a pamphlet on that ; anywayz one of the girls i flirted with got mad at me because i called her out on leading me on even though she has a boyfriend and i just wanted her to be speak the truth to me , i think her ego just couldn't let that go regardless im ok for now and will be leaving this job eventually. Because i was thinking if i don't take action now i will be stuck in this place for a long time and that's not what i want , which brings me to one of my future subs find my PERFECT JOB , and i shall stack that with Base see where that takes me its far away yet but an idea i can reflect on when the time comes.
Im counting down to stage 4 , 12 days. Anyways I feel great , extremely genuine like a brand new person. I was reading another post from someone that had depression and that was what I was experiencing subconscious resistance but I bypassed it all is good for now.
I had this feeling of going out to the bars I haven't been out in a while any who I was experiencing this intense sadness because I was feeling like everyone around me was stabbing me in the back. I called people out and learn to just accept things and I forgave them.
Do I plan on hanging out with them all the time , maybe , maybe not but what I do know it was just me accepting human nature and people. Can i forgive everyone what am i a priest? Still working on that.
As far as anger goes im in better control at least that's what im thinking as im writing this.
On a side note I messaged an ex FWB , I told her that I miss her which I do. In stage 1 I felt she was manipulating me so I needed to let her go, also I was expecting more from her but I killed those expectations I guess I was too attached which is ironic for me. But I let go of that. Considering she doesn't owe me nothing plus when you love someone you just accept that you have to let em go , sooner or later because the wanting to posses is just a way to control and fear of letting go.
So what I realized is that I don't want to be in any committed relationships right now .i think i mentioned that before , I don't want any one feeling like they need to posses me , because i don't want to do that to anyone and i think a lot of people do that ; Btw. In general I feel great , more GENUINE and CONGRUENT. Im working out 3 - 5 days a week which is awesome too. My diet still sucks need to work on that for the long haul.
Long term goals
Achieve a high level of spirituality and understanding of life.
Master a style of martial arts , although I want to be a better person and individual along the path there will be disagreements and because I realize most people are not masters of their emotions I need to take precautions , so understanding and practicing martial arts is on my to do list .
I also choose to do SM3 next and that is all for now Congruency + Genuine = Manly im sure theres more to that equation buts that it for now.
On a side note does AM6 have the script develop an aura of sexiness?
It always seems impossible until it's done."_ Nelson Mandela
"Continuous improvement is better then delayed perfection."_ Mark Twain
"We change the world not by what we say or do, but as a consequence of what we have become. " _ Dr. David Hawkins
