AM 6.0 - Big changes in store.

[Bayern2]

Hey man, I really like your journal. I plan to do AM6 in June so will be keeping an eye on your Journal to see your progress. Can you give a little bit more about your background?

Thanks

Fonzy

Thanks Fonzy

From what I can tell you up to this point it's well worth it.

For a little more background. I'm not usually as open with stuff as I am on here, so even keeping this journal is rare for me. I'm 27 and working full time.

Growing up I always ahd a little bit of a weight issue. Still kinda do I guess, but that's about the last of my worries that I have since I'm not obese or anything. Because of the weight issues I had a self image problem about myself, and I think that held me back quite a bit. Haven't really had a long-term relationship to this point, which might freak some people out but I don't care cause I wasn't really interested in anything long-term anyway.

Don't really have as much of a self-image issue as I used to, even though I think it's still remotely there and I'm hoping that'll be gone by the end of this program.

Not sure what else to put at the moment, so I'll stop there for now. I'll keep you updated on how this program is working for sure.

[Bayern2]

Not much new to report through 14 days of stage 2. Kinda feels like I'm going through the motions in this stage and haven't really been noticing much the last few days or so. Because of this I think stage 2 has felt like it's taking forever to get through. Either that or I'm just really anxious to get to stage 3 as that's where the heavy stuff comes into play. Just gotta keep going and get through this stage though.

[Bayern2]

Things have been very steady lately for me during stage 2. The one thing that keeps getting me is I keep falling off the wagon when it comes to porn and having the willpower to resist looking at it. I've read multiple sites about tips on how to get away from it and the benefits of not using it. My problem is after a few days I just can't seem to resist the urges.

[swisston]

I find the porn thing odd; I haven't had any urges at all since starting AM. Is this a resistance thing for you?

[Bayern2]

I find the porn thing odd; I haven't had any urges at all since starting AM. Is this a resistance thing for you?

It might be, I don't know. It's been an on and off thing for me. There's times where I haven't felt any urges at all like I didn't at the very beginning of the program, then there are times where I can't get away from it. Like, for example, I've done nothing today since I didn't have to work and just wanted to relax, and didn't even have a thought about looking at it. Hopefully that continues and it just goes away.

[Benjamin]

I'd say the program is bringing up certain emotions that you have been trying to hide from by using porn in the past.

Like for me I notice the urge comes up when i'm feeling rejected by girls or have approached and it hasn't gone well or if i'm feeling lonely. The interesting thing is that using the weight loss program my urge has gone down alot, I feel some of the stuff that made me want to eat also made me want to look at porn.

-Ben

[Bayern2]

I'd say the program is bringing up certain emotions that you have been trying to hide from by using porn in the past.

Like for me I notice the urge comes up when i'm feeling rejected by girls or have approached and it hasn't gone well or if i'm feeling lonely. The interesting thing is that using the weight loss program my urge has gone down alot, I feel some of the stuff that made me want to eat also made me want to look at porn.

-Ben

That makes a lot of sense. Honestly, I've never really been an emotional person in the sense that I make a huge effort to look into my thoughts and feelings too much in the past. Usually I would just accept whatever happens and move on without even reflecting on the situation. I think you're right that there are certain emotions that are being brought to the surface.

I've noticed that this program is forcing me to dig deeper into myself to figure out where I've gone wrong and what I need to do in order to be better in the future. Hopefully by the end of the program I'll have this under control and have found a way to beat this once and for all as this is one of my bigger hurdles that I want to get over with the help of the program.

The last few days have been great for me though. Even though I've been lazy the last few months in terms of working out, I've been more active in other aspects. Confidence is pretty high right now, and my body language has been getting a lot better (standing up straighter, walking slower, and actually looking people in the eye more).

[Bayern2]

Not really posting about AM since nothing has changed, but more of looking ahead. Thinking about what I want to use after AM, my thoughts are combining Balance Your Brain Hemispheres with Maximum Learning Speed (if those are ok to combine). Used Balance Your Brain Hemispheres for a month before starting AM, and it worked great. I only stopped so I could use AM.

[Bayern2]

Been noticing some weird changes in me (changes that I don't mind happening). For instance, I've had a little bit of what I would call OCD about certain things, with one being about numbers. My OCD with numbers mainly relates to tv volume o radio volume in my car. I would always make sure the number is an even number that I have the volume set to. During this stage I've noticed that has gone away and I don't really care at all what number the volume is set at.

Things were pretty hectic over the weekend. I dind't get that much sleep at all since I stayed out way too late. I did manage to get my time with the sub in during the daytime though, so nothing was lost. Friday night I was out with a bunch of friends and I noticed that people were engaging me more often than they have in the past.

Still feeling really lazy during this stage, so hoping to make it through the last week of this stage just fine before the major stuff comes out.

[Shannon]

OCD behavior often has to do with seeking a sense of control. The person does not have a sense of control internally, so they seek to control events or external things in specific ways to obtain that sense of control. The degree to which you experience OCD and the amount of resistance to not following it will usually correlate to the degree of your feelings of lack of control, and the fear it generates within you.

AM6 is instilling you with a sense of internal control, power, capability and mastery.

[Bayern2]

OCD behavior often has to do with seeking a sense of control. The person does not have a sense of control internally, so they seek to control events or external things in specific ways to obtain that sense of control. The degree to which you experience OCD and the amount of resistance to not following it will usually correlate to the degree of your feelings of lack of control, and the fear it generates within you.

AM6 is instilling you with a sense of internal control, power, capability and mastery.

Thanks Shannon, the last week or so I've been noticing a difference in this quite a bit.

That leads me to a question about other "tendencies". Is the explanation you gave similar to things such as nail biting, or another one that I used to do was peel labels off of bottles (especially beer bottles when I was out with friends)? Just curious if this is similar or if that's different.

Thanks

[Shannon]

Nail biting is usually a nervous habit, based in insecurity (fear), and may or may not have to do with feelings of control. Peeling labels can be a control mechanism (having more control), but just as likely may be done out of simple boredom. A lot of people peel beer bottle labels off while they drink.

[Bayern2]

Going to be listening to the last day of stage 2 for me tonight (thankfully). As noted I have seem some changes during stage 2, mostly with my minor OCD that I no longer feel that I have. Since I've noticed that, I really haven't noticed anything else during this stage.

I'm definitely ready for stage 3 since I still feel pretty lazy when I'm at work, even on the weekends at times I don't feel like doing anything. I'll update again during stage 3 hopefully a somewhere around the end of the first week mark.

[Bayern2]

Today was my first day back at work since starting stage 3, and I was way more productive than I was the last couple of days last week. Not only that, I wanted to make sure I got a lot of work done today. I also seem to be more focused on what I'm looking at or doing, and not paying attention to what's going on around me as much.

Worked out tonight for the first time in a while, which is something I need to do more consistently. I would like to get into a better habit of that since I would like to lose at least 20 pounds. Another thing I need to focus on is getting out of debt. Credit cards are a pain in the a**. I would think about getting a weekend job since I have 3 day weekends every week, but not sure I would want to take on the work load or risk missing time with the sub because of that.

Been reading a lot more the last couple of weeks, and would like to add in some books on how to get better at subtle flirting with girls.

Anyway, that's all for now. I'll update again soon.