3.3.1-D abundance, women, grandiosity, success

[Kol]

I havent but have heard from it. Thank you for chiming in and dropping the suggestion.

[Kol]

It might be time for a break tho my inner voice craves more DMSI. woke up this morning after a dream about sex with my body feeling ran over similar to doms after intense training. Its like my CNS feels fried and way on edge. I refuse to back off, thought about running E3 and healing trauma tho Ive ran DMSI since 3.1 version. Even DMSI can be a way to escape which I mused about. Prolly also feel fear about the "if I quit DMSI then I lose xyz" so much shit to work through. Going from confused to composed, like in and out of zone. 

My voice has an energetic quality to it, also im directed to really put power in my voice projection ( like something Jeffy is also about ) it also is deeper.

It also way easier to remind myself to stay on my shit, my flow. Instead of procrastination its a way of discipline.

Also, selflove is a big player in all of this, something which is massive and key.

[Kol]

Its 2 am and I cant get sleep at all. Im fearless in the sense of 'I can go out now and walk around and what not. Pull some chick and bang right now. Have taken water with some bcaa's as I feel there is some fire underneath my ass.

Anyways, now that im awake, some updates. Im also in my 2nd day break.

Im growing in awareness that DMSI doesnt take away an 'pulling the trigger' I can still go out, walk up, socialize and what not, just for fucks sake. Like whatever, do it. Fear held me back and FRM does its thing.

Im going hard at the gym. Last session I ended it with me shaking, exhausted. Could barely utter a word. I was sweating like I had an intense sex session and I felt myself projecting that.

Got some stuff at the store afterwards still out of it. The girl behind the counter, was highly enganging. Her whole demeanor and energy was like "I want you" it was very intense. Her energy screamed "im picking you up, I want you, andI want to fuck you" it was pretty hot. Didnt pull it further ( why didnt I? Its a re-occuring theme, like im so caught up in the moment, flowing ) anyways, Ill see her again.

Grocery store girl. Blond. Great cueves.blushing, smiling, shy, cute. Acting highly interested. Idk what is holding me back, im getti g angry even. Pissed.

To come back to the first girl. After this bubble moment, eye contact and what not, I drove home. I kid you not. I felt good, contemplating a bit while driving, lots of people turned heads. I decided, fuck it, I feel still burned up from training. Cabrio with 3 girls was near. They all went groupie like with me. Like some sort of movie scene in which girls crush on the main character. Needless to say, it was what it was and I love it. Its like girls everywhere are engaging like that.

Now, I realizing that good reactions give me a emotional spike. Feels good having this validation going on, yet, it makes my frame dependent, and frankly, over time, uncentered. Not out of fear, but its more of an attachment. When an girl is moody for whatever reason, it also hits me. Thus becoming maddening. Good, bad whatever, it shouldnt be that my frame, my state, my own being is enslaved to dopamine spikesso to say.

At work, talk becomes sexual, women literally hook themselves up with me. Im getting more relaxed. Today with E it took lots to not just escalate right there amidst everyone. Full on physical, cheek to cheek, hanging around me, giving "fuck me" signals. "I" also has a hard time as she has her future at stake. One guy is openly hitting on her and she gets repulsed by it, because he is so needy acting. I literally am just social, unfiltered, engaging.

But, like I said, its also all external, which is why I am sort of "hesitant" to report all this.

People go ways further to please me. Doing things for me.

Im recognizing in this break some monetary ceiling. Some moments last couple of days felt like powerlessness, like my mind screams, goes blank around success and wealth, like its a huuuuge issue. Feels literally like wasting my time. I also catch myself going "into character" at times, like an automatic go to default state. I catch it more and more. Im encountering more limiting beliefs aswell which beg to be dealt with and to be released.

Like I wrote in the UMS journal, rubber meets the road. Im already there. Im success. Wealthy all of it. Car, house, living good, being creative. Im already that. But, it also feels there is an elastic band keeping me in place, like an f1 supercar spinning its wheels, making contact, yet kept into place.

Perhaps im facing some deep shit. Traumas ( im seeing anger more and more as an creative force, im good to it, loving it, even if it is finite energy and thats fine )

My confidence is growing this time in my break. Awesome. shows I need these breaks and theyre fruitfull.

Im definitely executing. I notice it internally, externally. More heat lately, more uninhibited, social, an "fuck it" attitude. Playing and toying and I actally like push pull. Its nothing personal, all fun games.

I also am thinking about why im running DMSI? I ran it because I wanted my sexual life flourish. Laycount up etc. Yet, it also is an inside job. As within, so without. Cars, houses, girls etc. All can be escapes, excuses, which INCLUDES the concept of abundance, which, in my case, also was turning into a stick to hit my shadow self ( be happy, your abundant brahhh dont fuck up your high energy brahhh ) Inner work is proceless and with that, fun is also important.

Also, now that im back at the gym, im already have companies reach out to sponsor me. I also have a newfound (refound?) Interest in nootropics, nutrition tweaking, training, how chemicals interact with eachother ( supplements ) and have as a goal to visit fibo expo.

[Kol]

Also, when I was driving home yesterday, I had memories pop up from a group I decided to not hang around with anymore. I felt utter disgust for the choices they make. Its like groundhog day life, and even tho its almost 2 months now if not longer, I still felt disgust and even rage to that. When I acknowledged this, I felt it shifting to me purely. Like the disgust was just there, me with it.

[lano1106]

Kol,

You are facing the same challenges that I do. I am getting very good attractions signs but I am not acting on them. This is why I switched to SM3 which I think is going to help me with that issue.

As I go, I'm starting to understand things about the reasons why I'm not pulling the trigger.

I have some mental blindspot about what to do when I see a girl that I'm attracted to and I have a good interaction with her. I just don't know what to do in those situations.

In fact this is so stupid simple that it is ridiculous. All that needs to be done is to ask her phone # to keep in touch or maybe setup some easygoing hook-up with her later during the week.

I'm just NOT doing it. So the only way fix my problem is to force myself doing that from now on.

2. I still have irrational fears to express my true desires to women for them. Would you be able to say to a woman in 5 minutes after meeting her that you would like to have sex with her? (This is Mode One stuff) Most of the time, I have some irrational fears stopping me from doing that. Yet, the few times that I have done it, it did work fine...

[Kol]

Yes, I pretty much agree on what you wrote Lano. I to have those irrational fears ( writing, like this, seems to make it more obvioous ). Like last time at the gym, I was wearing headphones and the instruction girl said something to me. I didnt hear what she said, but she responded clearly with interest, as an reaction to me bein mindblown by the pump going on. The other woman got triggered by the social proof and butted in. Its like everywhere I go I have girls line up for me like my own groupies.

Another is, with blond girl at the check out of the local grocery store, I know she is into me, yet feel at times its gettin stale. Sealing the deal would be effortless yet its almost like im freezing, getting vacant and numb/empty. Rolling the sequence of steps is crystal clear to me, but hang ups and insecurities..( alright, this just now comes out effortlessly, its new.. ) its like im still to much a spectator and waiting for her to make the move while at the same time I know I have the resources/skills but is inaccessable midpoint. Which then shifts to self attack :/ its fucked up. Like you say, about havib done and it went fine. Same as with me on that.

Another is, the gasstation girl beamed up like a christmas tree. Commented on how she changed her hair again and she was all smiles and what not, yet, it ended there. Idk man. I get that the sub makes the user MSI, and am aware of myself still basing on the girl/external to seduce, like some sort of neediness. Not always tho.

I know I could pull mode 1 off. Ive been ballsy before more then once in terms of breaking the social norms and taking it into the extreme regarding push pull and being authentic and natural not giving a shit, and its as if my mind goes blank every damn time. I actually love the wild shit. But I still seem to expect lots, like her dropping her number on the receit for example. I gave them these options more then once, like an opener yet maybe its time to cultivate my badboy traits more. Like the darker side of seduction.

ION;

gym goes so hard lately tgat im wanting to go more pro in this. Shifting to such lifestyle including the visualisation of being ripped is such a piece of cake that my life is unfolding into it. Connections go easier, passion is high, hunger is back. Focus, agression, will and drive to push, im doing really good nowadays, which, opens way for more manifestation and unfolding. Very centred and feeling even more mature like an oak lately. Something tells me its subconscious and things have changed. Im having 0 to none issues with my gym thriving. Not to say im gaining results very fast which adds more to the fuell.

Im also thinking about E3, UMS and US/LM. I dont know which FRM version US/LM has tho.

[Kol]

Last few days I realize more dark skinned girls are popping up in my reality, especially online im getting youtube vids for example. And I really like it. Also, my taste is broadening up. Its an "when its on its on!" Kind of thing. Also had me questioning the halo effect regarding that.

Was thinking about some goals aswell as clients and how to manifest it, immerse in it, let it come up and open to answers as to what next like a natural follow up of steps, i was also thinking back at the videos I watched from last years fibo. I atleast had 3 girls passing that caused a strong reaction in me. ( Hi A! ) Quirky, energetic, teasing and fit. Now, my mind was flooded like I already got em in my life and it only deepens.

Something else to report, which might come in handy for @Shannon is something that happened today.

As I drove home from training, it was like I had a sort of "whipe" going on, meaning, an sort of reset in which all was cleaned off like a whiteboard, only to see in my mind a 're-construction' happening. Like I said, along the lines of the computer shut down, starting up and having something else layed-out before me. Reality bending? FRM?

I also have mad deja-vu lately.

[Kol]

More internal changes;

I consciously realize how my eye contact ties in with confidence, self esteem etc. Its like a sort of absence/void inside. When im engaged in conversation it becomes better but im still avoidant at times. Its fear. Been questioning if fear of success is the same if not highly similar to fear of failure. Im realizing that right now. Physically im looking good, strong, and I know im of value and it can be a non issue, being comfortable in my sexual skin, confident in myself, and its all in my head, but im still getting self conscious at times. Like suddenly being thrown in the internal mess, like a shock effect.

Also, when im thinking of A, I notice an wall in the field of "its okay to want a girl you like" more stuff coming to light.

[LiquidMind]

The internal changes of DMSI are so good though

Picture yourself wanting to give that girl the most devilish smile you ever want to let her know "hey baby its on between us" all the while seeming as innocent as possible

That's where I'm at currently. This run of DMSI has been a dream and I'm sure when Shannon upgrades it to the current skeleton it'll be just as good for everyone else too

Keep it up dude

[PDjunkie]

The internal changes of DMSI are so good though

Picture yourself wanting to give that girl the most devilish smile you ever want to let her know "hey baby its on between us" all the while seeming as innocent as possible

That's where I'm at currently. This run of DMSI has been a dream and I'm sure when Shannon upgrades it to the current skeleton it'll be just as good for everyone else too

Keep it up dude

The internal changes and paradigm shifts DMSI brings are bleeping insane. FRM, I find, works fantastically well.

[PDjunkie]

More internal changes;

I consciously realize how my eye contact ties in with confidence, self esteem etc. Its like a sort of absence/void inside. When im engaged in conversation it becomes better but im still avoidant at times. Its fear. Been questioning if fear of success is the same if not highly similar to fear of failure. Im realizing that right now. Physically im looking good, strong, and I know im of value and it can be a non issue, being comfortable in my sexual skin, confident in myself, and its all in my head, but im still getting self conscious at times. Like suddenly being thrown in the internal mess, like a shock effect.

Also, when im thinking of A, I notice an wall in the field of "its okay to want a girl you like" more stuff coming to light.

Sometimes paying someone too much eye contact whilst they talk to you is not necessarily a good thing when it comes to attraction. Always used to be my pitfall; it's a balancing act. Not enough eye contact or inability to feel comfortable maintaining eye contact at all times in any situation is a sign of weakness/low self esteem or fear, whilst giving someone complete rapt attention with your eye contact and shoulders/waist facing them whenever they talk to you can cause them to invest less as you are overinvesting yourself, from a status/attraction perspective anyway.

FRM should help smash past any fears with eye contact as ASC has a similar effect also, provided you are not resisting the script as it pertains to that.

[Kol]

On AM6 & ASC my eye contact was really powerfull. No biggie. Its a headfuck really, as when it flows and im feeling good and am in contact with my "essence" eye contact is on point. Tho. Only when im starting to question if it isnt too long, to intense, that it becomes weird. Unecessary stress and all in my head.

[Kol]

The internal changes of DMSI are so good though

Picture yourself wanting to give that girl the most devilish smile you ever want to let her know "hey baby its on between us" all the while seeming as innocent as possible

That's where I'm at currently. This run of DMSI has been a dream and I'm sure when Shannon upgrades it to the current skeleton it'll be just as good for everyone else too

Keep it up dude

The internal changes and paradigm shifts DMSI brings are bleeping insane. FRM, I find, works fantastically well.

Agreeing with both of you regarding the shifts and the FRM. 

@LiquidMind oh the tension is there. Its like an inevitable shift. Im thinking, maybe it is stateshifting and I aint fully comfortable yet DMSI creates and oppurtunity window everytime while she gets snipered. The subtext between the girl today after I was done at the gym, was highly flirty.

I do have to say that with my 1st 8 loops from the new cycle it was like the gates we're blown wide open. Like limirations shattered and no longer where an issue of a sudden.

[Kol]

This morning I realized that it sometimes take a whole paradigm shift instead of little changes. Like a complete makeover/overhaul. I also had a realisation of sociatial programming and how much shit thete is to let go right now and then. So obvious shift is easily made.

Now that I write this my face feelslike it "changes" more hard, cut out of diamonds. This comes with the thought of "all girls want me" and abubdance.

I realized also this morning how it is bs to see someone and somewhat catagorize him above me, like my insecurities show and "ranks" get exposed.

Im also euphoric as fuck. Like life is so fucking good. Simultaneously life also seems to be truly clownsworld. Experiences are fun, yet it like a running meme at times. I have thought before that being a troll is a win/win, but this... the more ridiculous, the harder I seem to execute.

Im also noticing little "distortiobs", subtilities that try to drag my state of fun, troll, excitement, passion, carefree a bit diwn. I also realize im already enough. Like, I had to get some stuff ( everything is closed here, fuck me sideways ) so I went to the gasstation. It was like a ghosttown. I mentioned this ( been a while, owned the fucking place ) (indirect situation opener" and the girl at the payment was hooked. Smooth convo and starting to realize how much of a big deal I made it. Like, my feeling good is leaking over and translating inactual manifestation of, well, me. My presence. Lo and behold, her IOIs started firing.

I think its my attitude toqards getting numbers.not even if it is a big deal or nah, but rather, its positive, fun. Smooth and flowing. Not being so hard on myself.

Also, FRM breakthroughs have me giggle like a fucking groupie girl sometimes -.- its hilarious tho.

Also, the more andmore I feel I dont need at thing, and am enough, the harder my masculine core seems to shibe forth.

Talking about groupies btw, itsalmost consiatent now having women checking me out, glancing towards me with interest, giving oppurtunities at the gym and what not. Its like afucking consistent pattern now. Nothing to pin on about ( getting attached to that shit and having my mood being affected by that ) but realizing I can have with it in multiple ways. Non verbal, balsy and what not. Tho, my training is priority at the gym.

Constant social proof at the gym is real