06-14-2018, 02:49 PM
I got on the forum today, and read some thread updates. I was inspired to move my loop number on B to 4 loops. I've been resisting the script a lot lately, me not embracing new thinking and all. I'd done 2 loops last time, and I'll see what happens. Just running US flac so I won't lose sleep.
Also, my ex called me an hour ago. She never calls, I expected some possible fiasco, but that never happened. She called just to say hi and tell me about a girlfriend she's enjoying spending time with. The meat is that her friend lived here locally when my ex was here, but she recently moved up there close to her. Her friend recently divorced her hubbie of 22 years, has a boyfriend now, and is pregnant. Her friend always wanted more kids, but her ex wouldn't allow it.
I'm wondering....what else was on her mind? I am thinking it was sex personally, by her vibe and excitement.
I'm glad I am on DMSI. While showering I thought of our past sex life--very dull. I've often blamed her for it. What I realized is I used to lock up when with her sexually. My mother issues and memories surfaced regularly, obliterating my passion. I actually felt resentful a few times during sex, and I'd be ashamed and afraid of these memories. Emotionally, I withdrew, often. So, I'm glad I'm using DMSI.
Gonna drop. Long day tomorrow and I need sleep now.
Also, my ex called me an hour ago. She never calls, I expected some possible fiasco, but that never happened. She called just to say hi and tell me about a girlfriend she's enjoying spending time with. The meat is that her friend lived here locally when my ex was here, but she recently moved up there close to her. Her friend recently divorced her hubbie of 22 years, has a boyfriend now, and is pregnant. Her friend always wanted more kids, but her ex wouldn't allow it.
I'm wondering....what else was on her mind? I am thinking it was sex personally, by her vibe and excitement.
I'm glad I am on DMSI. While showering I thought of our past sex life--very dull. I've often blamed her for it. What I realized is I used to lock up when with her sexually. My mother issues and memories surfaced regularly, obliterating my passion. I actually felt resentful a few times during sex, and I'd be ashamed and afraid of these memories. Emotionally, I withdrew, often. So, I'm glad I'm using DMSI.
Gonna drop. Long day tomorrow and I need sleep now.
I want to be FREE!
