I did some EMDR last night after my post. Something must have worked, for I got tired quickly. I'll keep at it. I read something on it this morning which corrected me. I'd been missing parts.
I did hybrid DMSI this morning, since I was awake. I'm writing since I miss the emotional honesty I had while on UD--as being honest meant no battling inside myself wondering "should I say this, that, .......or nothing". DMSI has some detox modules in it............I just miss the full-on effect which I loved. No mental mind-f***ing myself.
Just lately I've had this self-hate or blame rising since I want to share something excitedly.......but fear and self sabotage hold me back. My long posts lately are attempts to fall into that safe honesty zone, which hasn't happened much. Yet the untold story is I've had uninhibited thoughts rise a few times daily. I want to pair them with me writing. It's just not happened yet. Makes me wonder if detoxing branches into more areas then H/C. Or if it's just not resisted as much.
I did hybrid DMSI this morning, since I was awake. I'm writing since I miss the emotional honesty I had while on UD--as being honest meant no battling inside myself wondering "should I say this, that, .......or nothing". DMSI has some detox modules in it............I just miss the full-on effect which I loved. No mental mind-f***ing myself.
Just lately I've had this self-hate or blame rising since I want to share something excitedly.......but fear and self sabotage hold me back. My long posts lately are attempts to fall into that safe honesty zone, which hasn't happened much. Yet the untold story is I've had uninhibited thoughts rise a few times daily. I want to pair them with me writing. It's just not happened yet. Makes me wonder if detoxing branches into more areas then H/C. Or if it's just not resisted as much.
I want to be FREE!
