10-09-2018, 03:55 PM
So yesterday was definitely a low point for me. The main positive point to it all is I really see now how I bring myself down. All this shit I tell myself, all these expectations, all the things I think people assume about me, is all coming from myself. I've realized as long as I hold low opinions of myself, that's why I'm afraid of what others think. If I feel worthless and someone deems me incompetent, I'm more likely to take that to heart. Whereas if I feel good about myself I see their comment as an opinion. And even if I was incompetent that doesn't make me a bad person or unworthy.
I don't know, something just clicked today. It made sense to just work on generating my own self worth and validation vs getting it from the outside. The only reason I always looked towards the outside was because deep down I felt like I need a good reason to be worthy or valuable. Like I couldn't just give it to myself, I had to earn it. And that mentality is what hurt me the most. I was playing into a game, instead of stepping outside of it and changing my perception on life in general.
I don't know, something just clicked today. It made sense to just work on generating my own self worth and validation vs getting it from the outside. The only reason I always looked towards the outside was because deep down I felt like I need a good reason to be worthy or valuable. Like I couldn't just give it to myself, I had to earn it. And that mentality is what hurt me the most. I was playing into a game, instead of stepping outside of it and changing my perception on life in general.
INFP