10-01-2018, 07:24 PM
I have to let go of all this BS once and for all. I don't know why, but it feels like if I do I'll become some sociopathic narcissist? One of my irrational fears I've had. I think it stems from my identity centered around pleasing others. Like I've always looked to others for the final approval of who I am.
But I need to stop putting others before myself. Even if that makes me look like some selfish jerk in their eyes. I've spent too much of my life not giving myself the attention that I need to grow and thrive.
I need to be stronger, tougher, be secure in who I am and stop letting people destabilize that sense of self. Stop walking through life as this malleable thing others can manipulate. To some degree my self identity is still based around that weak fearful person and I need to let that go and embrace a new self without feeling like I'm being inauthentic or faking it.
I just know I can't live like this anymore. The constant fear, the people who sniff out weakness and take advantage of you, the constant worry of needing to be safe and secure vs thriving and living.
But I need to stop putting others before myself. Even if that makes me look like some selfish jerk in their eyes. I've spent too much of my life not giving myself the attention that I need to grow and thrive.
I need to be stronger, tougher, be secure in who I am and stop letting people destabilize that sense of self. Stop walking through life as this malleable thing others can manipulate. To some degree my self identity is still based around that weak fearful person and I need to let that go and embrace a new self without feeling like I'm being inauthentic or faking it.
I just know I can't live like this anymore. The constant fear, the people who sniff out weakness and take advantage of you, the constant worry of needing to be safe and secure vs thriving and living.
INFP