Man to think about 3 days ago I was ready to pack it in with DMSI entirely. I got hit with such a profound realization tonight. You know all my life I've felt I could never do what anyone else could. I was always afraid growing up and I never really felt the world was full of opportunities. It just felt like a waking nightmare. When I became an adult I developed a really strong coping mechanism for all this. I detached from my wants and desires. I was under the impression that I had somehow transcended basic needs and wants. But really I was just afraid to go after them. This happened a lot in my dmsi journey. Thinking somehow I didn't want women in my life, it was easier to convince myself of that than own up to the fact I was afraid. I've been afraid to be confident or bold in life, thinking people would just ridicule me and try to tear me down. So I've hid behind this false self acceptance for years and never tried to embrace being more than my limited perspective of myself. I legitimately felt I would be in some kind of danger if I stood out. But I see it for what it is, just a fear. And I won't let a fear stop me from achieving what I want out of life. Other people don't hold me back, I hold myself back.
INFP