Quote:Also completely unrelated, but overweight women. I just don't find them attractive. I don't criticize their character or hold them to a lower standard as a human being. But I always feel like I'm "shallow" for not giving them a chance. Why are guys constantly put down because of a simple preference like not being overweight? I'm willing to accept that maybe there's a possibility I don't find them attractive because of fear based reaction, but really it seems like a stretch.
Generally, the "fat acceptance/fat pride" movement is based on certain people (not all of those who are overweight) wanting to have their cake and eat it too. Literally and figuratively. They choose to do the things that result in being overweight, and they don't want to deal with the resulting consequences. If they did, they would start enacting countermeasures and make changes.
One of the things they want is to have just as many options sexually and relationship-wise as anyone else, which is the "and eat it too" part. To do that, they have to convince people that they are somehow wrong, bad, at fault, guilty, shameful, stupid, ignorant, shallow, whatever for their natural desires to have a high value and healthy partner. Whatever fits their particular "love map" for physical characteristics. Some people choose overweight, because their love map specifies it. Others do not.
So they do things socially to make people for whom overweight is not a natural choice (is not on their love map naturally) feel that it is wrong, bad, shameful, "shallow" to not give overweight people an equal shot, even when that isn't what naturally attracts or interests the person.
For a long, long time, I dated women who were not physically attractive to me for that reason. Then one day I realized... I am not happy with women who are below X and above Y in weight. I was dating them because I had been told that it was "shallow" to do otherwise. The reality is that it is "shallow" to try to manipulate others into doing what doesn't make them happy so you can be overweight and have equal access, even though the person giving that access is not happy with doing it.
Now as I said before, not everyone who is overweight does this or believes it or uses it. But it has become a social norm in the last 10+ years. Now that you've recognized it, you can simply refuse to be manipulated into feeling bad for what makes you happy, and choose what makes you happy instead.
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The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!