08-03-2018, 03:42 AM
I have off today for the sub, but I've decided I'm switching to B next week. The training wheels are coming off. Something inside me says no more healing, you've done all you can in this department. The fact is dmsi states quite clearly what it does and I've been trying to use it in a way it's not intended for. If I want a full shotgun approach to healing I should probably use E2. But healing has always been for execution of dmsi and nothing more. The fact is that I'm using dmsi, I want the effects of it, and I need to stop holding off on executing and waiting until I feel "healed". On that note I've noticed that if you can change your attitude, response, and your attachment to your emotional issues healing is really just about disconnecting from those issues. I think I've been too wrapped up in healing being this thing where you face your inner demons, cry, rage, whatever. And yes it's 100% my subconscious using healing as a fall back to not execute, that's why I'm moving to B.
It's that fear of "wait what if I missed something?" Then back to healing, which isn't actually healing anything. In my life I've had very obsessive tendencies stemming from fear. No doubt that same obsession leaked into dmsi A and I found myself going back to "check" far too often. And yes realization of it theoretically could allow me to bypass these tendencies and get the benefits of healing, but I know better by now that I just need to cut out the option completely. It's the equivalent of leaving a donut out for my subconscious, better not to even put it there in the first place.
It's that fear of "wait what if I missed something?" Then back to healing, which isn't actually healing anything. In my life I've had very obsessive tendencies stemming from fear. No doubt that same obsession leaked into dmsi A and I found myself going back to "check" far too often. And yes realization of it theoretically could allow me to bypass these tendencies and get the benefits of healing, but I know better by now that I just need to cut out the option completely. It's the equivalent of leaving a donut out for my subconscious, better not to even put it there in the first place.
INFP