03-18-2018, 02:49 PM
Alright so, it's definitely still fear holding me back, that's been well established. I'm realizing more that I fear the effects of dmsi because I constantly got the message growing up that sex or hook ups is bad. That somehow if you're not in a commited relationship and having sex you're a bad person. So it's not necessary directly fear of women so much anymore, rather what it means for my own character if I start sleeping with a bunch of women. Prior to 3.2 I ran the sub in partial execution, I took the results of the sub that weren't directly tied to women and largely ignored the whole becoming sexually attractive thing. Now with 3.2 I think it's so powerful, there isn't a choice, but subconsciously I think I still hold these moral values inside of me about sex that are largely bullshit.
Not going to go into a huge rant, but I've heard so much about women complaining about men harassing them or making them uncomfortable. Now I know I'm not going to go around grabbing random women's asses, but I feel it's been conditioned in me not to have sexual feelings around women. That somehow it's unwanted or disgusting. Like I've seen some guys just gawking at women, clearly making them uncomfortable and I'm thinking to myself, dude have some respect. But at the same time it feels like my subconscious mind didn't differentiate between those creepy guys and my own sexual urges and feelings, so they all got lumped into the category of "bad". Trying to undo all of that now.
Not going to go into a huge rant, but I've heard so much about women complaining about men harassing them or making them uncomfortable. Now I know I'm not going to go around grabbing random women's asses, but I feel it's been conditioned in me not to have sexual feelings around women. That somehow it's unwanted or disgusting. Like I've seen some guys just gawking at women, clearly making them uncomfortable and I'm thinking to myself, dude have some respect. But at the same time it feels like my subconscious mind didn't differentiate between those creepy guys and my own sexual urges and feelings, so they all got lumped into the category of "bad". Trying to undo all of that now.
INFP