02-10-2018, 09:38 AM
Ya know I think where I'm going wrong with women is thinking I have to be this super confident ambitious dude before I can have anyone interested in me. I'm not saying I'm going to quite striving for my goals, but I have to get rid of this mentality that I have to wait until I'm good enough to even put myself out there. A lot of the stuff I judge my worth on in relation to women are my skills, how much I make, what kind of life I live. To be honest I'm not too happy with my life now. I wish I never picked up PUA shit when I was younger and insecure. So much pollution it did to my mind, so much anxiety and perpetuating black and white thinking. "Be confident all the time bro otherwise girls won't like you, once you slip up it's over". That's bullshit. It's all such bullshit. Women are people and if you get a reasonably intelligent one she's going to have the self awareness to realize that people are complex and not walking caricatures. But if you just want to bang superficial stuck up 10s I guess you have to play their stupid games.
I don't know what it is, but it's always been like "once I get my confidence up, once I get some muscle, once I get better at music, once I get my own place, once I'm in my ideal career, etc". There's always SOMETHING. It's like I'm locking myself away until I reach some idealized version of myself and then release myself into the world. I've always struggled with this belief that in this very moment I'm not good enough, that I need to be better. So much is motivated by fear though instead of enjoyment or excitement about reaching a goal. It always seems like I'm advancing to run away from something.
I don't know what it is, but it's always been like "once I get my confidence up, once I get some muscle, once I get better at music, once I get my own place, once I'm in my ideal career, etc". There's always SOMETHING. It's like I'm locking myself away until I reach some idealized version of myself and then release myself into the world. I've always struggled with this belief that in this very moment I'm not good enough, that I need to be better. So much is motivated by fear though instead of enjoyment or excitement about reaching a goal. It always seems like I'm advancing to run away from something.
INFP