01-16-2018, 04:26 PM
Definitely feel better today. But yesterday was hectic at work. I'm pretty much going solo while my coworkers are in another state. But all I can say is that B was making it so I couldn't wind down so to speak. Like stress just kept piling and piling and there was no way to release it. I probably should have taken a break sooner. I'm dealing with a lot. Not only am I trying to tackle this whole women thing, but I'm trying to also deal with the fact that I still have massive anxiety issues in general. Most of which I was completely unaware of and now I'm learning to manage it better by being aware of it.
I remember when I was younger I always had this feeling of impending doom. I took it as the truth and that made me freak out more. But now I see it's just anxiety which is a product of my own mind, it doesn't mean anything.
The other thing I wanted to add. Fear sends me in a tailspin sometimes. Like yesterday shit hit the fan and I could not get my mind on track. It kept resorting to the worst possible scenarios happening. This of course caused me massive anxiety which completely drained me for the rest of the day. I even developed a bad migraine. People say to breathe, calm down, think rationally, etc. But in the midst of a panic attack it feels like all that goes out the window. My brain goes into serious fight or flight mode and suddenly the worst possible outcomes seem more true than what's actually the reality. I think I'd like to have my mind not respond with the worst possible scenarios as a knee jerk reaction. It seems to be a really bad habit I've developed. Relates to women too. I rarely ever approach women or talk to them because I think I'll just come across as an unwanted creep. I'm probably in more dire need of self esteem than I originally thought.
I remember when I was younger I always had this feeling of impending doom. I took it as the truth and that made me freak out more. But now I see it's just anxiety which is a product of my own mind, it doesn't mean anything.
The other thing I wanted to add. Fear sends me in a tailspin sometimes. Like yesterday shit hit the fan and I could not get my mind on track. It kept resorting to the worst possible scenarios happening. This of course caused me massive anxiety which completely drained me for the rest of the day. I even developed a bad migraine. People say to breathe, calm down, think rationally, etc. But in the midst of a panic attack it feels like all that goes out the window. My brain goes into serious fight or flight mode and suddenly the worst possible outcomes seem more true than what's actually the reality. I think I'd like to have my mind not respond with the worst possible scenarios as a knee jerk reaction. It seems to be a really bad habit I've developed. Relates to women too. I rarely ever approach women or talk to them because I think I'll just come across as an unwanted creep. I'm probably in more dire need of self esteem than I originally thought.
INFP